Being a little short on cash I decided to rob a bank. (445 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: story
Rating: 2 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by spacemonkey (View user info) at 2004-03-12 14:13:51 EST
The plan was nothing short of brilliant. I had rigged a compact explosive to my chest, which had a small detonator that I could hold in my hand. The plan was that I would put a large coat on over it and just hand a note to the clerk, alerting him to my intentions. Keep it quiet and quick.
In and out.
No big deal.
I entered the bank with confidence. In one hand I held the detonator. The other held the note. I figured that I really didn't need too much, so I only asked for about five thousand. No need to be greedy.
My swelling confidence quickly vanished as I surveyed the place. There was a single guard with his pistol drawn. I wasn't really worried about him though. I was worried about the two masked men holding shotguns.
One of the masked men turned to me, wondering what to make of this newcomer. The other remained trained on the guard. Faintly in the distance I could make out the sound of sirens.
"Lay down fucker!" The first masked man said to me. His shotgun was bearing down on me, and I was compelled to comply. Immediately I was on the floor, hoping to avoid any more attention.
The sirens where now blaring outside the bank. A loud bullhorn screeched and then a voice was heard.
"This is the Springfield police department! Come out with your hands up!"
"Well we're fucked now." The second masked man said. With that he shot the armed guard in the chest. The bast knocked him down, and he was lying there writhing in pain.
"You fucker! Now there's no way out of this!" The first man yelled. He then raised his gun to his cohort's head and pulled the trigger. The shot man crumpled to the ground. The remains of his head hit the ground, leaking brain matter.
The remaining man pulled his gun right up to his chest. The barrel pushing up underneath his jaw. He shouted, "You fuckers!" And blew his head off. The two men's bodies were now lying next to each other, their cranial fluids soaking the rug.
The police charged in, restored order, cleaned up the mess and did interviews, but not once was I asked to take of my coat. All I had to do was slip the detonator into my sleeve. No one ever frisked me or anything like that.
It was just in and out.
No big deal.
User Reviews
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-03-13 00:56:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good
Submitted by 12 at 2004-03-13 00:12:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Scientifik (user info) at 2004-03-12 20:20:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story, happened to me once, but instead of a coat, I put the explosives down my pants, the cops who interviewed me probably thought the sight of grey matter was arousing to me.
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2004-03-12 17:23:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this rocked.. very nice..
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-03-12 17:09:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fucking sweet.
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:51:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
brain matter.... <shudder>.... i cant get the pulp fiction image out of my head!!!
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-03-12 15:18:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty cool G.
Submitted by Swik (user info) at 2004-03-12 14:19:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh, pretty funny. Though situations in which one robs a place that someone else is already robbing or intending to rob is nothing new in Movies, TV's, and Book's still a bit funny, although the actions of the robbers was pretty random.