X-Rays, Hot Nurses, and Blow Jobs. (10717 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.56 on 59 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Will Zone <dianoga101.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-12 14:59:08 EST
I was at work yesterday and I fell on my walk home. I tripped over my own two feet. I did the classic "stand up flustered and look around the ground to see what I tripped over" move. No one cared. Though i did make eye contact with an old african american mail you kinda looked at me and shrugged in a very "shit happens" kinda way.
I take my first steps and YOWZA! My ankle is fucked up. Its all swolled up and hurts with every step. Shit. This is the worst thing to happen to me right now...I have a show this weekend that involves a little thing called "mobility" and I can't be wincing and limping...its not who my character is.
I contemplate toughing it out and heading to the subway. Then my inner "mom" kicks in and I realise I have to get this looked out. 5 minutes after the fall is black and blue and swollen. I decide to go to the doctor.
Now, going to the doctor for me is a hassle. I haven't been to a doctor yet with my new insurance, and I generally don't like going to the doctor...I have a very holistic approach when it comes to disease and injuries...Satan will make it better.
So i call my healthcare provider and find the nearest doctor I can go to, and jump in a cab.
I go into the office and now I have to wait. I search thru the magazines, passing up "Newsweek" and "The Economist" for a pristine copy of "Highlights for Children." I pump my fist in excitement when I found the "snake" in hidden objext picture...you see it looked like Hay in the haybale.
I hear my name.
"Zone...Mr Zone."
I hobble to the door and the hottest nurse i've ever seen escorts me to the observation room. She keeps looking at me weird. As i pass a mirror I make sure I don't have a booger hanging out my nose. She helps me onto the table and we get chatting.
She takes my temperature and asks if I'm a comedian.
I say "yea." and she says she saw me do stand up like a year and half ago and said i was relaly funny and that she still tells my "tennis joke" whenever she gets the chance. She said she tried to find me after the show, but I musta left.
Wow. I affected someones life with my comedy. Weird.
Now, this girl. Mmm. ABout 5'7'' reddish brown hair, shoulder length...amazing cheek bones...fit...large breasts....perfect...I found out she was Italian and Polish...Great mix.
She starts really flirting with me. Touching my thigh, as she leans in close telling me how good I was on stage...I was about to kiss her, the signs said go for it, but at that moment the doctor walked in.
God damn it!
Doc looks at the ankle for about 2 minutes and says I need an X-ray. Nurse says she will gladly escort me down to the x-ray room. The room is dark and on the opposite quiet end of the building. We round the corner and she grabs my hand...she is walking to fast for my injury, but I don't care...she keeps looking back at me and smiling.
We get in the room and she says I need to take off my shoes for the X-ray. I comply, and she helps me with the shoes. She then says, "you know, you should take off your pants too." Taken aback, i agree, but I say "I'm gonna need your help. My ankle hurts bad." I stand in front of her. TENSION in the air. She unbuckles my belt and unzips my zipper...wow.
My pants drop to the floor and at that point we kiss. It was the most sexually charged moment of my young life. SHe was so soft...so fast...so perfect. My hands explore her body and her hands explore my crotch. I'm getting an erection and for some reason i no longer feel the pain of my ankle.
I even make a cheesy joke like " Your the best medicine I ever had."
She tells me to shut up and she drops to her knees.
No fucking shit. No fucking way. Crazy.
I came in here with a busted ankle and now i'm getting a blowjob from a hot ass nurse. I love this town.
Then it happened. The x-ray machine started going off. We both freaked out. She stands up and i jump on the table. She says sorry and gopes out of the room. I'm left without pants, a throbbing ankle and I'm at half-mast...i'm supposed to be at rehearsal.
She comes back in 5 minutes later laughing and apologising. She kisses me again, and gives me her phone number.
Then she gave me the x-ray.
Turns out I just sprained my ankle. It feels a lot better today.
Oh Uber, i can't wait to injure myself again.
Will
THE AFOREMENTIONED X-RAY
User Reviews
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2005-04-14 10:22:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
when you linkwhore, be sure to +2 it.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-04-12 09:20:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just Practicing my link whoreing skills
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59997
Submitted by Kellio (user info) at 2004-08-25 04:06:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations, you just accomplished every man's fantasy.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-08-24 10:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was okay, but it's a widely distributed pic, and the story was pretty predictable. I like your other stuff much better.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-08-24 09:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story, but seen the picture before COUNTLESS TIMES.
LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-08-24 09:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, I'd have someone take a baseball bat to my fucking ribs if she was as hot as you say...
...or if she were real. Oh well.
Submitted by retarded_ape123 (user info) at 2004-08-24 09:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
popped a boner
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-13 18:31:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that picture is priceless.
Oh and i spose you write purdy well fer a city boy
Submitted by stupidwhiteguy (user info) at 2004-04-10 10:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
man I hope she brushed her teeth before she came back in to kiss you.
Damn that's like, that's, that's like kissing your own dick!
Submitted by Supremebeing (user info) at 2004-04-06 12:26:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm I think someones going to get cancer now from all the radioactive x-rays shooting through their heads
Submitted by cwl989 (user info) at 2004-04-06 12:07:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit. When I liked to my post, I forgot to give you your proper rating.
Here ya go, a +2 for yah troubles.
Submitted by FleetEnemaBadass (user info) at 2004-04-05 14:54:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Terrible.
Submitted by cwl989 (user info) at 2004-04-05 14:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/29238
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-03-30 00:00:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Diesel, sorry it wasn't the hardcore porn that you love and crave.
its just a silly story i wrote for that picture. i'm no larry flynt, and i've always stuck to my guns on that one.
Submitted by stacenbass (user info) at 2004-03-29 23:51:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I have been complimented on my cheekbones many-a-time.
Me and the nurse are like this (crossed fingers).
You should catch us on the days we have to wear our candy striper uniforms...
Submitted by DlESEL (user info) at 2004-03-29 23:37:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That story was lame. You douches get excited too easily
Anyone can find a lame ass pic and cast themselves as the lead star in a porn film.
You did it with no class, no money shot, not even anal.
One more thing, familiarise yourself with the term "brevity". I waded through so much crap to reach the part about a goddamn blowjob, and it sucked ass.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-03-15 10:06:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
About the picture:
I've done some research on the artist who did these pictures...theres a whole series of them. He uses various levels of x-rays on different parts of the frame, depending on what he wants shown. While on one half of the picture, one might be able to see hair, on the other half, or in a different section, one might see in the inner workings of the jaw.
The artists name is Wim Delvoye.
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2004-03-15 09:25:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just noticed something. Why is the nurse bald? The x-ray shows pubic hair but no head hair. You know why? Because it's a man.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-03-15 09:05:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just noticed the condom in the x-ray picture...i shoulda added that minute detail to my story!!! damn!!!
Submitted by THEillONE (user info) at 2004-03-15 08:21:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A silky boner?
Takes all kinds I guess...takes all kinds.
Great job zoney
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-03-15 07:18:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great, I now have a silky boner in a room full of strangers. Thanks Will, thanks a lot.
No really, thanks.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-03-14 19:44:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good story
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-03-13 11:35:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OK,
so its saturday and I'm online. a rarity. I just reread this story. I wrote this in such a hurry at work. I was typing fast cause I didn't want anyone to walk by and read over my shoulder and gander that I'm writing about hot nurse blow jobs on company time. I want to rewrite this torrid tale and fix all the damn typos. I got the post sent right at the buzzer.
I wish this happened.
Volk: Yeah i have AIM. dianoga101 is my AIM handle, IM me.
I'm Will.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-03-13 03:54:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
klxjaiuewnmklcmaopsjdmglqnamnajvainmnawjiejrwionacns,m.drw
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Ha.
Submitted by Confusion (user info) at 2004-03-13 01:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Boner.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-03-12 20:40:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Turtle, that's low.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-03-12 20:38:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2004-03-12 20:14:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
good job will
-Turtle
Submitted by ScoutCJustice (user info) at 2004-03-12 19:47:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't understand how you can be so fucking awesome... it's just not fair
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-03-12 19:36:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is better than every other WillZone post ever.
BAW? Absolutly.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-03-12 19:20:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I felt something in my crotch area.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-03-12 19:08:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job.
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2004-03-12 18:47:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Amazing cheekbones indeed
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-03-12 18:42:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You've entered a dimension not of sight and sound, but of mind... there's a signpost up ahead. Next stop... the WILL ZONE...
Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2004-03-12 18:40:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This writing represents all that I aspire to be.
So fucking awesome.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-03-12 18:13:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Will Zone - master of all things funny.
Submitted by russizm (user info) at 2004-03-12 17:51:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good shit.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:44:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Would you like a bite of my Fiesta Taco Salad with tangy salsa?
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:29:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture is really frightening.
The story, however, turned me on.
Is that so wrong?
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:14:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WillZone - Do you have AIM?
Submitted by Denis_Leary (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:12:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've gotten a bj from a nurse before.
If that counts my wife who is a nurse.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:11:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ive always wanted to have an X-Ray of a girl sucking my cock.
Was that really the X-Ray when the machine went off?
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:03:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You would be a hot, hot, hot nurse...
any chance i can be sent a pic of you in a nurses outfit? Please.
This coincidence too much for me to bear.
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:02:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it even more of a coincidence that they had to be posted right next to each other? oh boy...
-phx
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:00:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is this a coincidence? http://www.ubersite.com/m/27581
-phoenix
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-03-12 15:58:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This should go on Bored at Work IMMEDIATELY.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-03-12 15:53:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, to be honest this post is a work of friction...I mean fiction.
I found the pic online somewhere and wrote a story around it.
Thanks for playing along.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-03-12 15:51:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ummm... nothing at all.
I mean, great 100% true story man!
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-03-12 15:50:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What do you mean "email forward?"
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-03-12 15:49:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Slick Willy, only you'd be able to make such a hilarious post from an e-mail forward.
Kudos bro-ham!
Submitted by theWELLofZION (user info) at 2004-03-12 15:41:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Um, wow....
I mean...wow.
Great story...great pic....great god.
Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2004-03-12 15:28:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Helllooooooo Nurse! I sure hope it's true, because...well.....just because.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2004-03-12 15:25:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great picture and great story!
Submitted by Goldeneyes (user info) at 2004-03-12 15:13:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That head looks like a male's...
Submitted by Hader (user info) at 2004-03-12 15:11:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm new and I've read a few of your posts. You're fuckin hilarious dude.
Being clumsy equals a bj from a hot nurse. Awesome.
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2004-03-12 15:10:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
aahahaha
If only...
Submitted by T.chow (user info) at 2004-03-12 15:07:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that was pretty sexy
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-03-12 15:07:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yeah Sweet man. but seriously i would go and check if all that radiation hasnt messed up your bolox
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-03-12 15:05:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really hope this actually happened.
If so, I'm getting into the comedy business.