The New Hotness (1162 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.93 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mac (View user info) at 2004-03-12 16:14:15 EST
Looking out my window on this absolutely gorgeous Friday afternoon, I'm not even the slightest bit miffed (that's right, miffed) that I'm stuck inside my office. Under normal circumstances, being chained to my desk and subjected to brutal floggings at the hands of my relentless task master (you know, surfing Ubersite) I would do my best Whinnie the Pooh impression (as all jedi pimps can impersonate Whinnie the Pooh) and mope around saying "oh bother", but not today. Oh no, not today. You see, my lovelies, today daddy's got a little sumpin sumpin waiting on him when he gets home. That's right, I'm talking about the new hotness itself, the Wu-Tang edition Char-broil Grill.
What's so special about a grill that could make me feel giddy like a school girl and forget the fact that I'm wasting a beautiful afternoon just sitting around surfing Ubersite...er...I mean working really hard at my totally tough job? Well, I'll just use a quote from The RZA, of the Wu-Tang Clan and co-creator of the Wu-Tang edition Char-broil Grill as he explains the basic concept of the new hotness- "Basically, what had happened was, we had taken some old busted ass grills and threw some Wu-Tang stickers on 'em".
Aside from coming complete with or without an official Wu Logo Decal, the Wu-Tang edition Char-broil Grill has the following two features to make it "phat and all that" as well as "thuggish ruggish" and several other corny catch phrases-
1. Only one setting- "Burnt to shit". You don't have to worry about whether or not you've cooked the chicken long enough to kill the bacteria or whether or not the ribs need a few more minutes to get tender- it's all going to be burnt to shit anyhow, so relax and drink a beer.
2. When not in use, you can put your weed in there.
And now you know the awesomeness that is the Wu-Tang edition Char-broil Grill. Knowing that I have the extreme pleasure, neigh, the privilege, of using my new grill this afternoon, it almost brings a tear of joy to my eye. But I'm not going to cry. In an hour I'm going to go home and burn the shit out of some chicken! Who's with me?
User Reviews
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-03-23 23:02:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF MAN... come on Mac where the fuck are the new posts?
Incredibly bad grammer man
Pimptee, the official 2004 goatee for jedi pimps
Jedi Pimp - Episode I Attack of the Gnomes
2004's Incredibly dull movies: movie review by Mac
Why read a book when it's already out on DVD
There, five different titles of inspiration to choose from. NOW WRITE SOMETHING DAMMIT
I officially vote for Jedi Pimp - Episode I Attack of the Gnomes, I think you could run with this...
*cough* more on Uberia soon *cough*
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-03-23 18:47:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can anyone explain to me why whenever I hear any sentence that starts with "What had happened was..." I start cracking up laughing? Why does this poor attempt at a complete sentence strike me as so utterly hilarious?
Please.
Someone.
Help me.
~LaNa :)
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-19 13:56:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love grilling. I love Wu-Tang. I love this post.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-03-15 08:51:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Britneyoncé is the new hotness:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1079349016158111786
Submitted by Dlove (user info) at 2004-03-15 08:38:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+4 because I took that picture.
-2 because you didn't grill out at all on Friday you stinky italian LIAR.
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-03-14 23:39:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When not in use, you can put your weed in there.
Absolutely priceless..
+1 for making me laugh out loud
+1 for making me swallow my crest white strips and choke
Submitted by jeetkunetony (user info) at 2004-03-13 11:31:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/27619
Submitted by Scientifik (user info) at 2004-03-13 02:33:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're THE jedi pimp
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2004-03-12 22:25:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was awesome. No other way to put it. We took some busted ass grills and threw some stickers on them. hahaha.
Submitted by Buttons (user info) at 2004-03-12 21:16:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Again I am reminded why I'm glad I work 2nd shift, in an otherwise empty office:
On 2nd shift, the boss can't hear you laugh at Mac when you're supposed to be working.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-03-12 17:21:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yea well I took the afternoon off to watch Carolina fucking lose on yet another last second shot. I don't even care, fuck it. I'm just pissed off that it's perfect outside and I wasted the afternoon needlessly inside the damn house. I could have stayed at work if I wanted to stay inside.
My lawn mower has steal your face stickers on it. It's not as cool as your grill, but it is cool.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:33:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's funny that he changed his name to be more radio friendly.
Too bad he won't be on the radio anytime soon.
Submitted by fingerbang (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:25:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i have the dirt mcgirt edition
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:24:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sideburns,
That's funny that you mentioned ODB. At the last minute before posting, I cut out a line about him. If you notice in the story, it says "Rza...co-creator of the..." I had somthing about ODB planning his own remix edition to the grill, but I wanted to keep this short and sweet. But I did think about it.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:23:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FIRE!!!!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:21:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, a simple fuckin sticker like that would make it so much more fun to barbeque. Beats me why.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:19:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you have the Special edition 'Ol' Dirty Bastard' grill?
It was stolen.