The antidote for civilization. (881 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialLabels: how_weekends_were_back_in_the_day
Rating: 0.88 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by polyamorousaj <ajcassidy221.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-12 19:12:18 EST
"i'm lovin' it." That's McDonald's new ad campaign. Terrible. Now before you all haul off and say, "MADOX ALREADY DID THAT, OMG YOU PLAIGERIZER!!!11!" Just hear me out. When you see that shitty commercial, do you ever think about what happened to the ad campaigns that came before it? Do you ever wonder if we'll ever see the utilization of, "We Love To See You Smile," once more? We probably won't. Why? It gets ineffectual after awhile. It almost seems a shame that these slogans go out of use, because almost half of every US dollar spent goes to advertising.
Therefore, I've decided to peruse the internet in search of these lost slogans. Upon finding them, I will see if they are still saleable. It's a terrible thing to waste an idea, therefore I'm going to see if one can use these slogans in everyday life. After all, you can only say, "I rule," so many times before it gets old...
Braniff Airlines- "When You Got It, Flaunt It"
Hmm... this company went out of business in 1982, but you still hear the slogan all the time, such as on the Ricki Lake show. It's almost enough to make you want to gouge someone's eyes out when they say it. Fuckers. If this one wasn't so cliche, one could use it pretty effectively.
Club Med- "The antidote for civilization"
I haven't heard anything from Club Med from a long time, so I'll just assume that this slogan is no longer in use. Why not? This slogan sounds like a kickass catch phrase for a serial killer or a superhero. If you're in the mood for kicking some ass, you can use this phrase. Just say, "Who am I? I'm the antidote for civilization, bitch! And you're the infection!" Oh, man, this phrase rules. The next time you get in a fight you have to use this and let me know how it works out for you.
Forbes- "Capitalist tool"
What better way to describe some of the most powerful figures in the United States? <ahem> Bush <ahem>. Simple, yet effective.
KFC- "Finger Lickin' Good"
This one works if you want to be more clever than, "When you got it, flaunt it." A decent innuendo to describe one's hotness, when you can't come up with something original, that is.
Pepsi- "Lipsmackin' thirstquenchin' acetastin' motivatin' goodbuzzin' cooltalkin' highwalkin' fastlivin' evergivin' coolfizzin"
I can see why this piece of shit slogan went out... it took the whole goddamn commercial to spit it out. If you want people to think you're a groovy stream-of-consciousness pseudo-intellectual beatnik that wears berets and hangs out in coffee shops, then I suppose this one would be applicable.
American Red Cross- "The greatest tragedy is indifference."
This is one you can use in case your friends are being apathetic bastards, whether it be about what to do for the night, where to eat, or politics. You'll sound smart while saying it, and since nobody cares about the Red Cross, no one will know where it's from.
Carl's Jr./Hardee's- "If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face."
I'm sure some of you men out there can find a use for this one... you disgust me.
Coty Perfume- "Want him to be more of a man? Try being more of a woman!"
This one would work especially well if you've got one of your friends or sisters ragging on you about their boyfriend/husband and you're just sick of hearing about it. It will shut them up indefinitely. Perfect for those people that you never want to see again.
Hanes- "A man can't swing if his underwear doesn't."
I honestly laughed my ass off upon reading that one. I know all of you out there on Uber can find a time in your everyday lives to mention that. Perhaps maybe in passing, or in making fun of someone who wears tighty whities.
Jesus, I can't believe I just said "tighty whities." It's time to end this fucking post. See if you can't apply other slogans that you find in your everyday lives. When you run out of things to say, you can always fall back on cliche. If I get a good response to this post, I may continue with others like it. Maybe.
User Reviews
Submitted by HawkeyesTheGAME (user info) at 2004-10-23 16:31:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because you'll never get laid.
Submitted by eIectrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-23 07:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I will not trade pants with others.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-07-20 10:35:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pork: the other white meat.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-07-19 20:01:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-07-19 13:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
WHORE!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-22 17:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you, Tony. I missed your review and it's refreshing to think that people who think I'm worthless will put that aside.
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2004-03-14 16:40:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think you're a cock sucker but I respect well thought-out things done properly. You obviously put some research effort into this and it turned out to be pretty entertaining. But for the record, fuck you.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-03-14 16:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-03-14 16:27:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Meh...I liked it, but I think you're a fucking jerk off, so fuck you.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-03-13 15:18:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done polyamorous.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-03-13 09:10:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sideburns, what are you doing up at 3 o'clock in the goddamn morning? Nutcase.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-03-13 03:31:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-03-13 01:26:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MADOX ALREADY DID THAT, OMG YOU PLAIGERIZER!!!11!
Good post.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-03-12 20:55:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You heard me.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-03-12 20:47:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What?
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-03-12 20:25:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sniff, well, I guess someone told you I AM the antidote to civilization. Way to blow my cover, brain turd.
Flagpost at ten oclock...we invade france.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-03-12 20:06:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr. Rude...
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-03-12 19:51:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Still upset, eh? Well, maybe your juicebox and naptime will make you feel better. I thought this had already been covered. I didn't ask Bart to ban you and I didn't tell him to take away your ratings. I told him what was going on, first about Loki's post, then almost immediately after, on my post. Not to mention -2s to Tom's post for that day, as well as RB's. What you did was your choice, and you got the consequences of it.
Am I sorry that your ratings don't count anymore? No. I'll be honest. I'm actually kind of happy that you got them taken away. But I have to give you credit for sticking on the site and accepting your punishment like squattail. +2 for you for being somewhat mature.
Submitted by Mr._Rude (user info) at 2004-03-12 19:43:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The antidote for civilization is to put a fucking bullet in bitch-ass RATs heads. Bitch. Why don't you send another email to Bart to try and get me banned since I gave you a -2 you fucking faggot.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-03-12 19:38:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice work.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-03-12 19:28:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"This slogan sounds like a kickass catch phrase for a serial killer or a superhero. If you're in the mood for kicking some ass, you can use this phrase. Just say, "Who am I? I'm the antidote for civilization, bitch!"
Thats what saved you.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-03-12 19:24:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
K.M would -2 a Dean Koontz novel.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-03-12 19:17:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment