Taking One for the Team (663 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.85 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Robert_of_Duluth (View user info) at 2004-03-13 00:05:32 EST
This all began my freshman year of high school. For forgotten reasons, I had joined the school cross-country team. Now the question that would repeatedly cross my mind on those 5-6 miles daily was, "Why the hell am I doing this?" I am not built for running. I have short arms, short legs, and a very long body trunk. Totaling just less than six back then. My body was built for lifting, not running. I struggled more to do less in that team than anybody else. I puked after every race and though usually 5-10 late, I always finished practice workouts. Overall, the entire season sucked, but I did it the next year.
My story begins on the big, annual, cross-country trip. Being that my high school was in an excessively wealthy area, we got to go on the greatest trips. Our coach would always find some redneck race next to an amusement park so we could have fun on the trip. That year we were running the William and Mary Invitational in Williamsburg, Virginia, roughly 475 miles from our Atlanta high school. We had just finished running the race and were sitting on the side of the road waiting for the coach bus to take us back to the hotel, where I could relax and dwell on the fact that I was the furthest possible time from the next race.
As I was happily sipping Gatorade and talking to a few friends, an outburst of laughter caught my attention and I looked up to see one of the varsity runners sprint across the street and down a crowded sidewalk, taking care to run through as many clusters of people as possible, as he did this he screamed and yelled gibberish at the top of his lungs and then sprinted back across the street. I smiled at this but it quickly faded when I saw the distraught girls talking to a few very large athletes from another team. They yelled some threats across the street at us and then their entire team sprinted across the street, after us.
The entire Northview team leapt to their feet and ran back into the forest on our side of the street. It didn't take us long to realize that their team was intent on pursuit, and would not stop until they had their retribution.
At this point, I was not in the best of situations. In cross-country, you are given shorts that are about half the length of boxers to run in. Mine were a bit too small. I had another pair of shorts over them, since the race was over, but the shorts were still on underneath. Soon the sweaty briefs and the race shorts began to get caught on my hot, sweaty ass, and got driven right into my ass crack. As I was running they got deeper and deeper down my ass crack until I had a huge ball of clothes rammed up my ass with minimal fabric stretched around my legs and waist.
It didn't take long for me to begin to slow down. The running/hobbling was too much after running your body across the Virginia countryside until its breaking point. My legs began to get shaky and my head began to feel heavy. I began to slow down to a quick trot, but I still kept feeling worse. I heard my pursuers getting closer. The forest behind me began to tremble; I gave myself one last push of energy, producing a half-hearted sprint for a good fifty feet, before dropping to the forest floor into semi-consciousness. I don't have any memories from what happened after I dropped, but I remember coming fully back into consciences. It felt like waking up after a nice, long sleep. As I awoke, I found myself lying, for the most part, intact. I glanced over myself, and looked fine. I discovered, the other team's retribution, as I got to my feet. I felt an odd sensation down my pants.
Curiously, I stuck my hand down under my briefs to find the culprit. My hands felt some warm, damp, leaves. I laughed out loud wondering why the hell I had leaves down my pants. I dumped a few handfuls of the green leaves onto the forest floor and soon gasped in horror. Littered around my feet, were the tattered and torn remains of poison ivy.
User Reviews
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-03 03:14:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-03-13 18:04:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Liked this alot. Did you go to Riverwood?
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-03-13 13:06:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jeetkunetony (user info) at 2004-03-13 02:08:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/27619
Submitted by jeetkunetony (user info) at 2004-03-13 02:06:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cross country pwns.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-03-13 01:01:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good work Rob
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-03-13 00:58:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
XC rocks, and so does this story.