Morning PT and the Glowing Football (347 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.33 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by riley (View user info) at 2004-03-13 08:16:14 EST
I bought a glow-in-the-dark football because there is no light at 5:30 in the morning. I didn't want us to be robbed of our precious sports day, so I took the hit to my wallet for my unit and purchased the football. Sports Authority came through, and it was received just in time. It had snowed the night before, so I was worried that PT would be cancelled and sports day would be lost for a month. Luckily, our more prudish leaders were absent and the young leaders there wanted to play as badly as I did.
I walked towards our normal staging area 10 minutes before we were to begin. My buddy sat in his car, smoking as much as he could before we it would be time to "condition our bodies". I told him to turn on his headlights so I could charge the football. He asked what the hell I was doing. I showed him the ball, which at this point glowed like it was on fire. "Holy Shit", he said.
At this point the light attracted "the dipshits". My job in the Army is definately one of, if not the, most technical jobs. We have the most college drop outs and 18 year old nerds. I hate 'em. Not because they are nerds, but because they are oblivious to how things work. When to speak, when not to speak. Things like that.
"Oh, YES! We are going to play soccer", the first dipshit says.
I quickly replied,"Go get your football bat and you can play for the other team, you fucking dipshit" I get away with talk like this because I am only a peer, not his leader.
The next dipshit reaches for the ball while asking,"Wow, is that thing rubber or something?"
I move the ball before he touches it. "No, this is glow in the dark leather, fucking new guy."
I don't claim to be a superior athelete, but throughout all my school years I did play on several sports teams and have an understanding of the fundamentals. As I stated before, my MOS is full of braniacs who play Dungeons and Dragons seven days a week. No coordination whatsoever. The bumbling, the bitch throws, and the "I almost had it"s made the game more amusing to watch than to play. Thank god your parents are not here to see this, because I would embarass them.
User Reviews
Submitted by spcrtp (user info) at 2004-03-14 06:40:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
31S
Submitted by bravo_foxtrot (user info) at 2004-03-13 23:43:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's your MOS and why is it so technical?
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-03-13 14:06:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by TheRef (user info) at 2004-03-13 08:52:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
listen uber user 6692. You must stop posting shit like this. No one gives a shit about a half-ass told story. either finish it or stick a "to be continued," on the end.
you must strive hard to represent the mil on this site. Keep this lame shit out of here.
user 705, DOD empoyee of the month.