What girls want from guys - a response (2096 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: uber-related
Rating: 1.54 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Circe (View user info) at 2004-03-13 10:10:16 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/22264
Jesus.
Men, trying to tell other men what women want from them.
We READ this shit, you know. We see that title and the alarms bells go off. Red flags go up. The International Organization of She-bitches gets a heads-up.
"They may have gotten it right this time. You! Agent 403! Yeah, you doing your nails. Quit it with the Passion Pink and go check this one out."
So the post gets read. Scanned thoroughly for truth and falsities. The collective feminine population holds its breath until the verdict comes through.
"No. False alarm. JAT*, people. Back to work."
(*Just Another Tosser)
We laugh at this, and shake our heads, and a sigh of relief is heard through the rank and file of our organization.
So here it is, from a woman, admittedly with more emotional baggage and psychological problems than some. Not as many as others. Which brings me to the point.
We're all different.
Depending on the woman, and depending on her mood, and depending on what time of what day of what month it is, we want you to be funny and serious, we want you to show your weakness and dazzle us with your strength. We want you to own us, and submit to us, and be our equals.
We want you to need us more than air and we want you to treat us like dirt. We want to be loved, we want to be envied, we want to be resented. We want to be exalted and degraded.
We want you rich and obnoxious, we want you poor and earnest and honest.
Hell, some of us want you poor and obnoxious.
We want you to be every damn thing in the world according to what we had for lunch.
In short, you're fucking screwed. Keep looking for the formula, but trust me when I tell you there isn't one.
Be you. Someone out there wants someone just like you.
There's no accounting for taste.
User Reviews
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-04-15 22:43:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THAT'S why I keep getting kicked in the balls!
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-04-15 22:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know what I want. It's bigger than a breadbox.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-04-15 22:30:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Be you. Someone out there wants someone just like you.
There's no accounting for taste."
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2007-05-19 20:16:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ho... Lee... Shit.
I never rated this. Unbelievable. How the fuck did that happen?
Also, incidentally, you've grown as a writer since then... but you have the truth in one paragraph. We probably already talked about it...
...but how the fuck did I not rate this?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-05-19 19:56:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe you must want me.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-05-19 19:52:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
true
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-05-19 19:52:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I might turn gay
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-05-19 19:31:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've re embarked on my Circe marathon.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-08 20:48:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2004-03-13 13:04:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
"women know what men want. men know what men want. what do we want? Women! we want women - that's it. It's the only thing we know for sure, it really is. We want women. How do we get them? Oh, we don't know that"
---
That sounds just about right.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-01-27 00:05:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats on winning UberBoobage!
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2005-01-11 22:10:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ditto.......Great!
Submitted by okokididitbutiwasdrunk (user info) at 2005-01-11 21:49:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
very good
Submitted by MoneyG (user info) at 2004-05-13 00:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
okay Circe, here's the eternal dilema, in case you missed it(and you did). We know there is no formula for all women. We are aware that every woman and girl is different, and wants different things. Here's the problem, we're not thinking about those women. Essentially, we are ALL thinking about the beautiful blonde with the great tits(yeah that's sexist, so what?), that perfect ass, the flowing long hair, and the picture perfect smile. Of course she's not the same for every guy, but the basic guiding principle is the same. We know all women are different, the formula you're not understanding is the one for THAT girl. Perfect body, intelligent, understanding and easy to please. That's who the formula applies to. If you don't understand that, then consider yourself as having more emotional depth than the cheerleader I've described above, but know that you are probably not what men are considering when they try to come up with the said formula.
Submitted by atz (user info) at 2004-05-12 23:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow. Women are really fucked up.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-12 23:48:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LOL, youarsoghey. Tat WUZ teh FunIest replay i've evar scene!
Submitted by cwl989 (user info) at 2004-05-12 23:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what? I like you. Because you are right; all the time.
Submitted by alchemist (user info) at 2004-03-23 16:45:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"In short, you're fucking screwed. Keep looking for the formula, but trust me when I tell you there
isn't one. "
No shit.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-23 15:54:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-03-13 12:02:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Caulaincourt -
Probably.
I didn't notice that. Let's hook up. Where do you reside ?
Submitted by nyagoc at 2004-03-13 14:31:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why guys don't take women seriously.
Also female comics are never funny. Example:
"I just had my period today, and boy it sure was bloody!!!"
That just made my day.
~Catherine
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-03-13 14:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/27548
Why guys don't take women seriously.
Also female comics are never funny. Example:
"I just had my period today, and boy it sure was bloody!!!"
Submitted by esso_merda (user info) at 2004-03-13 14:07:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2004-03-13 13:04:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
did You notice that YAT could stand for Yet Another Twat as well? Women aren't the enigmatic mystery wrapped in a riddle they like to pretend to be, but they are fundamentaly different from us & that is a good start. Nothing like a significan difference in the fundaments, I always say. It's all that keeps us interested anyway. To quote a favourite comedian:
"women know what men want. men know what men want. what do we want? Women! we want women - that's it. It's the only thing we know for sure, it really is. We want women. How do we get them? Oh, we don't know that"
Submitted by dewey (user info) at 2004-03-13 12:18:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Anybody wanna give me a good sucky sucky fo long time... ten dolla?
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-03-13 12:02:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Caulaincourt -
Probably.
I liked your 'How to be an Asshole' thingie.
My criteria is just THAT shallow.
Submitted by TheRef (user info) at 2004-03-13 11:51:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/27586
i knew it.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-13 11:33:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Be you"
Right on. Can I have you ?
Submitted by jeetkunetony (user info) at 2004-03-13 11:28:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/27619
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-03-13 11:06:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some useable advice from a lady, bout time.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-03-13 10:41:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fabish-
I did review his post. I just didn't want to force people to scroll through my crap in the reviews section, and at the same time, I didn't want to stifle the wonderfulness that is me.
Boy, was I conflicted.
So I posted this.
The link you put made me laugh though. Thanks.
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-03-13 10:24:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-03-13 10:20:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't make this a post if you're REPLYING to another post. Read this to learn what to do:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/24173
And if you were worried that no one would read this - it doesn't matter, because I didn't read it anyway.