French Military Victories (3635 hits)
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Submitted by digsy (View user info) at 2004-03-13 14:00:22 EST
go to google.
type in the following:
"french military victories"
then hit the " I'm feeling lucky" button.
Ho ho ho
User Reviews
Submitted by pirate-pete (user info) at 2004-06-03 12:00:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GEnador you are an assface that was funny
Submitted by Grandor (user info) at 2004-03-28 16:55:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Thats a interesting joke, atleast the part where the page was rigged.
I'm not much of a historian, maybe somebody can clarify for me.
I thought America lost in Veitnam? Well, it looked like defeat to me. And the country itself was protesting and wanting withdrawel of troops...sounds like america defeated itself..to avoid more casualties...
Also, that joke page from looking up "weapons of mass destruction" on goole (i'm feeling lucky button)reminded me...
That I thought in recent history, since thats what I kept hearing on tv, that the goals were that:
1) We were first and foremost in Iraq to capture and destroy any and all weapons of mass destruction
(actually...thats kinda funny in itself...but since their so far are none, then they *have* captured and destroyed *any* weapons of mass destruction.)
2) And we were there to 'liberate' the Iraqi people and plant a beginning of democracy.
I dont think either of those were achieved, while the dictator was gotten rid of, that isn't completing a real objective behind it. Unless there were other goals in it that I dont know of that were achieved.
Now that i've read it. I find it kinda funny that we don't care about those who won the battles for the early americans against the brittish in the past and make jokes about them. :( Sounds kinda disrespectful for the forefathers and their struggles for independance, and the allies who armed them and beat up the brittish for them.
Submitted by Drazen Petrovic <DrazenP.at.blazers.com> at 2004-03-28 00:13:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is extremely old. Like five years old. Maybe not the google function, but the text file is at least five years old. I remember it circulating through work email addresses.
In any case, anyone arguing about this is a fucking moron. It's a joke. An old joke. Some statements are very true. Most are exaggerations.
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-03-27 23:44:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Gulf War II a fiasco?
Last time I checked we'd won.
We don't have to rebuild a country after we destroy it's military in order to win a war.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-24 21:30:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
American "victories" involving the French "defeats":
- Revolutionnary War : with the help of France's soldiers, equipment and a million dollar, Americans-to-be finish an uncertain war.
- War of 1812: americans suffer great dammage (Washington is burn to the ground). England is busy fighting a much more threatening foe named Napoleon.
- WW1 : Much of the fighting is done by France. On the verge of collapsing, Americans finally decide to get out of isoliationism.
- WWII: After four years into war, America enters the war when Germany is exhausted on the Russian front. America uses it's economic might - boosted by selling weapon to both sides - to flood the enemy. To avoid further casualties on its second front, the US uses the not so surgical A-Bomb on Japan. Ironically, in 2003, Americans are pissed at France for not helping them in Iraq, where they have no interest, when themselves have let the french under German control for four years.
- VietNam: America looses to a third-world country already weaken by China and France.
- Korean War: Americans REPEL the ennemy with the help of England, Canada, France and such
These are a few examples and I'm not mentionning fiascos like The Bay of Pigs, Somalia, Gulf War II, Afghanistan. All in a 250 years span.
Now, for you information, France is geographically surrounded and mainly fought its war all alone against multiple coallitions. Also, in WW1, France suffered 1.2 million casualities and 350 000 in WWII. America suffered about 260 000 in both wars.
Surrendering or avoiding massacre ?
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-03-17 21:17:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The Franks WERE bad-ass, and some of the tribes that inhabited Gaul in the middle ages would have chewed on your spleen like gum. Since Agincourt though, they've been getting their asses beat. That's about 500 years. The French are the only country I know that has actually surrendered to itself.
Submitted by Fleet_Marshall_Badass (user info) at 2004-03-17 21:04:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good call. The French are shit. the only good thing to come out of France was berets, beczause they look awesome. But not on French people.
Badass.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-03-14 01:40:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed.
And while Normandy is part of modern day France, back then it was just a region to itself. I mean, come on, half everybody who was in England at the time was of Roman ancestry anyway. ;-)
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2004-03-13 23:05:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
2002 called, it wants its shitty internet joke back.
Fucking idiot.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-03-13 22:51:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Napoleon was corsican not french
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-03-13 22:35:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, I honestly laughed at that last comment. And as for being historically accurate, it's only because I'd seen that page before.
Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-03-13 22:24:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet you are one of those people that spoil christmas for kids by telling them santa isn't real. Gawd it's a joke. They don't have to be historically accurate you know.
\O/ Hey look it's a frenchman.
|
/ \
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-03-13 20:04:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmm... seems you're forgetting Napoleon and the Norman Invasion. The what? Why the Norman Invasion of course. Ever wonder why half the words we have in English are derived from French? Why, that would be because in 1066 the French actually kicked some ass and ruled over England for over 200 years. The official government language of England was French. Pretty ironic.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-03-13 19:53:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Napoleon who?
Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-03-13 18:47:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lighten up guys, the french probably have won something, probably a fair play award or something along those lines.
Oh and I'm sorry for the people who have seen it, maybe next time you would like me to check whether it's ok to post something in case I'm boring you. If you've seen it don't rate it asshats.
Submitted by LucidCognition (user info) at 2004-03-13 17:46:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
...yea and I discovered this new one you haven't heard of yet, click I'm feeling lucky for "miserable failure"
original, new...no
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-03-13 16:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually fucking laughed out loud... hard.
That's some funny shit.
Werd.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-03-13 15:42:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-03-13 15:40:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
That is fucking hilarious.
Anybody who doesn't get the joke needs to touch up on history.
Malone
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2004-03-13 15:38:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha the only war that won was their own revolution. stupid fairies.
-BongZilla
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-03-13 15:13:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
here is something funny:
Monday, November 05, 2001 :
FRONT | IRELAND | SPORT | WORLD | BUSINESS | ENTERTAINMENT
Taliban minister suggests Bush, Blair and Omar duel
5:13:40 PM
Afghanistan's ruling Taliban has proposed a duel between US President George Bush, British Prime Minister Tony Blair and Taliban leader Mullah Mohammad Omar to decide once and for all who will stand and who will run.
''The Americans have launched propaganda that Mullah Omar has gone in hiding, so I will propose that Mr Blair and Mr Bush should take Kalashnikovs and come to a specified place where Mullah Omar will appear with the Kalashnikov to determine as to who will run,'' Foreign Minister Maulvi Wakil Ahmed Mutawakil said in Kandahar, reported Iran's IRNA news agency.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-03-13 15:03:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-03-13 14:59:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hmm...would the american war of indepence be one?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-03-13 14:55:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah the franks only dominated and conquered almost all of europe at one time, or are you referring to and laughing at the modern french army?
funny funny funny .
you got jokes.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2004-03-13 14:48:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah i saw that about 6 months ago.
Submitted by Snipa (user info) at 2004-03-13 14:34:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow I didnt know that, great find!
Submitted by Mr._Rude (user info) at 2004-03-13 14:21:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's too funny!
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-03-13 14:16:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh, my firewall blocks it. sorry, no rating from me!
Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-03-13 14:11:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's safe to look at Cass..
Submitted by fingerbang (user info) at 2004-03-13 14:06:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahahahahahaha, that is fuckin awesome! wow. pllllluuuuuuuuussssssssss 2
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-03-13 14:05:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Clever girl, but I've seen it.
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-03-13 14:05:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i dont trust either one of you.
Submitted by xanderman2 (user info) at 2004-03-13 14:02:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Go to google and type in "Weapons Of Mass Destruction"
Then hit Im Feeling Lucky