Mowing the Lawn is Vanity (528 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 1 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Cicciro <tommyr786.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-14 07:13:20 EST
I write this as a response to the proletariat children worldwide. Quit mowing your parents lawns: I urge this because of the state of you and your parents. Not only have your parents abused their power by forcing upon you what they can do themselves, they have instilled a matchless vanity of yardword into your souls. You will forever be slaves to the need to keep your yard in shape, for if it should ever become unkempt you will begin to slowly pull the hair out of your scalp until you become a shining phallic statue of a human being.
The totalitarian state your parents rule in regards to you, the working class of a micro-communist governemtn, is a plauge. If you think deeply enough, your parents work everyday except for the weekends (some still do, and if they do, you can rest assured knowing your parents don't love you), and they have been doing this working process for quite sometime. They don't work hard anymore, they have become the automatons of the workplace. They go sit in their geometric cubes, typing or answering phone calls while sitting on their ass. The worst they have it is if a bed sore develops from the lack of movement out of their $200 chairs. Your parents don't work hard at all, in fact they are no better than robots while at work. They come home supposedly tired and continue to plop themselves down in front of the television watching their sitcoms or reality series. They might read a book of some sort, but the physical activity that once encompassed their youthful life has gone. And what is the matter with that one might as? The problem resides in, "Billy go mow the lawn." Not a please, no luck wishes, nothing. They continue to sit on their ass while they get thrills from depriving you of childhood play. You will grow up to be no better than them if you continue down this path.
Boxer, the hard working horse from George Orwell's _Animal Farm_, adopted two mottos: Napolean (your parents) is always right, and I must work harder (paraphrased). If you let your parents rule over you while they sit on their black leather cusions watching the football game and eating popcorn you have become no better than a old and senile cart-horse. Friends, please do not let these communist rulers control you. They claim they love you, they claim they have your best intrests at heart, but wouldn't you rather be playing ball in the park? Would you not want to find a nice video game to fiddle with? Why can you not adopt their lifestyle of leisure? You are not a slave, do not give in. Refuse to mow the lawn.
Why should you refuse the mow the lawn? Because there is no point to it. Do you really want to compete with your neighbors on who has the best looking yard? Of course not, instead you could be raising cattle and making your own milk because the cows can graize on your easy-access field like yard. Sure the dandilions and weed will come, but they need a place to live too? Are you denying their right to life? Bastards. The lawn is nothing more than a material existence that has no point to what really matters in life. Understand that before all else, what is material does not matter.
If mowing the lawn is a symbol of vanity, then all your communist party leaders want to do, comrades, is morph you into a society where superficial glamour and wealth are all that matter. You parents don't really love you if they cannot do things for themselves without intruding on your life. You parents don't know what is best if they make you mow the lawn because they know that you will become trapped in a cage of vanity and the need to look better to feel better. This is not the case friends, and the only way to get out of this cycle of doom is to break the lawn mower. Time is of the essence, hurry along now.
User Reviews
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-03-14 15:09:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Have you considered the irony that most upper-class people might go to work, piss the day away on Uber, and then come home and claim they're tired?
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-03-14 09:46:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going ot give you a two because of the reference to Animal Farm. And the fact that they said 'comrades' a lot in that book. Hehehe...
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-03-14 08:23:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I agree with creep-
You write pretty well, but when I was done reading I was just thinking... 'and your point is?'
Submitted by Cicciro (user info) at 2004-03-14 07:27:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks...
I can't spell at 2.. no 5 am.. shit 4... I can't even hit keys.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-03-14 07:23:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I appreciate the direction you were going with this and your writing ability is good, but something was missing. Maybe if you went further in depth about working 40 hours a week at a mindless job to be like everyone else...
Aw fuck it. I was gonna give you a 0, but pointing out that most of the upper middle class sit on their asses all day then go home and claim they're tired was good shit.
Werd.