The Aged Bimbo (710 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: crap:non-fiction
Rating: 1.55 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Circe (View user info) at 2004-03-15 00:28:56 EST
An actual conversation with my mother:
Aged Bimbo: 'I think I need a little dog.'
Loyal Daughter: 'Mum, you live in a one room apartment on the second floor.'
AB: 'I did say a LITTLE dog.'
LD: 'You work full time, Mum! What's the dog going to do?'
AB: '.............' (my Mum has the biggest, bluest eyes you ever saw)
LD: 'No! No, Mum, I have three f'n kids and no fence around my yard! You're NOT leaving the dog here!'
AB: 'At my age, it gets lonely once your children don't need you anymore. I just want someone to keep me company.' (I swear to God, the woman looked on the verge of tears.)
LD: 'You're 45 and have two boyfriends.'
LD: 'Anyway, I need you!.... Can you babysit Friday?'
LD: 'Oh Mum.. don't cry.'
Now. The above is a standard format for our conversations. I can't define at exactly what point I became the adult, but it's there. I try to do the best I can, you know? Keep her safe, try to help her become the person I know she can be.
Holy fuck, that sounds familiar.
I mean, the woman is 45 years old, and I call the phone company for her. What the fuck did she do before I grew up? Hire people?
Was she always like this or has she just given up on thinking because she has me to do it for her?
That said, I love my Mum.. she's adorable.
And the dog is fitting in really nicely.
User Reviews
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-08 20:55:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LD: 'You're 45 and have two boyfriends.'
LD: 'Anyway, I need you!.... Can you babysit Friday?'
Heh
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-03-09 08:24:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"What the fuck did she do before I grew up? Hire people?"
This line alone earnt the +2
The rest was cool too
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-03-09 07:51:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-01-27 00:04:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats on winning UberBoobage!
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-09-12 02:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 becuz Falso is a schmuck
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-12 02:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-11 22:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-07-24 01:37:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That sounds like my parents. Divorced and immature.
Submitted by rbdweasel (user info) at 2004-03-15 13:32:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Very cute. I am sure my parents wish their kids would grow up so they could pull the same shit.
Submitted by DooZa (user info) at 2004-03-15 02:51:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You allmost got it.. You get a B for effort though
Submitted by Jocko_Johnson (user info) at 2004-03-15 00:37:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what?