Sometimes you get the bear, sometimes the bear gets you. (1036 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.81 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by K.M (View user info) at 2004-03-16 12:54:31 EST
I am not sure exactly why I decided to invest. I suppose it had something to do watching my closest friends and extended family members make millions off something as new as tech stock.
I am 53 years old. I am not a particularly smart man, all things considered. I don't possess any particular knowledge of the market. I am a butcher. I go to my store, as I affectionately call it, every morning at 6 am. I work 48 hours a week in that room. There is never a pause in the day, where I can rest my aching, freezing hands for just a moment.
Arthritis.
I didn't play it smart, though. I had not set up a retirement fund until I was 40. I just didn't believe in those things. My wife never stopped reminding me how I fucked up.
I am only 53, and my hands are crippled. I could still pick up a knife, but I would have to eat painkillers, and press the back of my hand against a freezing slab of beef before I could continue. I just wanted out of that world. I just wanted to live at home with my wife and kid who I barely got to see anymore. I had no other skill, I could barely read, for Christ sakes. I had dropped out of high school when I was in grade 9, and started working in my fathers shop to help the family out during tough times.
Every day when I got home, my wife would glance up from the television and tell me how her friends husband had struck it rich on the market. There was a new one every week. At first I had ignored it. I would just work with my hands like god intended, forget that fancy stuff. It wasn't until she would practically ignore me that I decided to do anything about it. She would slam the dishes down when she was making supper. She would slam the front door shut when she went to bingo. I mean, here we were, middle aged, a meager twenty grand in the savings fund, and we could barely afford to keep the house.
I decided to take a step out on the edge.
I got in touch with John Landry, a man who had made something of himself on the market. He was a friend of mine, who was in fact married to my wife's best friend.
He was the first man that my fucking wife used to throw in my face.
"That's a man should do for his family" she would say.
He, in turn, put me in touch with his Go To Guy.
I met with the Go To Guy that Wednesday. He knew exactly what he was talking about.
"Tech stock are a safe bet, the market is a little shaky right now, but within a month you triple your investment, and you can pull out and pay off the house like you always wanted to, big guy. You are making the right choice, you're the fucking Man." And he slapped me on the back and shook my hand.
I told my wife about it, and she smiled approvingly.
I gave him everything.
I called him every day, after that. At first, he would tell me how things were going according to plan. After a month, I asked him if it was the right time to sell everything.
'Not quite yet, my man. You can make a bunch more if you would just wait. Prices have reached a plateau."
"Ok."
And after that, he stopped returning my calls. You have no idea how much that scared me. I had started reading the papers, and even I could tell that it was all bad news. After about a week of him avoiding me, I went down to his office to confront him with the latest headline.
"World.Com Crashes and Burns."
The Go To Guy didn't look too good. Papers were scattered all around his office. He was sweating. Phones were ringing off the hook, and there was a bottle of vodka on his desk.
"I think I want my money back." I said to him.
He burst out laughing, right in my face.
"Do you know what a Ponzi scheme is?" he asked me, still chuckling.
"No."
"Well I will tell you what a Ponzi Scheme is, you fucking dumbshit. Its when a company pulls in a group of investors. They buy lots of stock. Then people on the market notice that, so they start investing in that company too, because things look good. The company uses this second groups investments to pay off the first group, and then a third group starts investing, and so on. However, the money train has to end sometime, and stock prices start to fall. This is called a Bear Market. And when there are no new investors to pay off the last group, the company folds."
"I want my money back."
"Hey, pal. Don't we all."
"I want my money back."
"You know what they say. Sometimes you get the bear, other times the bear gets you."
I left his office. I sat in my used, 1985 ford Taurus, and I cried in the parking lot.
My wife was gone when I got home.
User Reviews
Submitted by AnnabelLee (user info) at 2004-03-17 20:42:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck, I thought you were serious. Silly me.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-03-16 23:09:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, I thought I already rated this.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-03-16 22:58:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thats a good idea razor, however it would create a little segregation, and thats not really what uber is about, when you get down to it.
fucking cool story, cool adaptation of the cliche into a relevant meaning. me likee.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-03-16 21:46:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story - very believable.
I'm amazed at how many people didn't immediately pick up that this is fiction and thought that you were a middle-aged butcher.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-03-16 19:22:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hey, wtf, wait, I call shenanigans!!
you aren't really a 50 year old butcher, are you??? admit it, you FAKE!!!
imagine how dissappointed people are going to be when they come to you hoping for cheap meat, only to discover that you're just some young punk making things up!!
next time, think about the consequences of your actions
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-03-16 19:03:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good stuff.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-03-16 17:55:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
on the bright side, at least you've had a life with plenty of access to meat
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-03-16 16:18:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn. That blows.
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-03-16 15:29:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravo friend. It is in the shorter stories that the beef of a fiction writer is exposed.
You pass.
Submitted by Domochevsky (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:49:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well-written and believable. It's nice to see other fiction posts, its just too bad that they usually don't get many reviews. C'est La Vie, I suppose.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:48:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dude, this was for iddqd. I am 18.
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Oh, my bad. Good work.
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:47:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Outstanding. The only part that belied your naivete was that you cannot get an appointment to see the Go To Guy when things are tanking. He has a security guard down in the lobby who will keep you out.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:42:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:34:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really like the way you were able to write about experiences so far from your own and get inside of your character. This pleases the actor in me.
SpikeGoddess
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:33:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written. Had me believing it.
--HeimdallsMan
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:29:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ubersite SO needs a fiction site.
Keep improving KM, keep writing. You keep getting better as time passes.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
depressing, though well written
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:23:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, i should have included it in the title, or something.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:22:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:16:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
dude, this was for iddqd. I am 18.
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In that case, have a +1...it was a good read
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:20:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. If your wife left you because of that, there wasn't any love from her at that point. Why wasn't she working?
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:16:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dude, this was for iddqd. I am 18.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:14:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You deserved it. Get rich schemes dont work. Ever.
Look at the bright side, you got rid of that stupid bitch of a wife.
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:12:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. I thought this was a really good, poignant read.
Ubersite seems to be on a roll today.
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:12:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:10:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you've got the nuts to get into the market, no matter why you're there, then you better be ready to face the consequences.
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:09:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Women...
Submitted by rbdweasel (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:02:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Badass story and we all learned some valuable lessons to boot. (I think the most important is don't trust women or rich people.)
Submitted by Bob_Bank (user info) at 2004-03-16 12:59:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wow. Time to set the beargun to CEO and get to work buddy, nothing else to do.