My Band Sucks (537 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicRating: -0.07 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rabid Weasel <rbdweasel.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-17 13:55:30 EST
It is looking like my band is going to start rehearsing again, or at least get together once more so we can officially break up. I doubt there is a point to continuing. We are modern rock covers band which could be the very lowest form of musical ensemble known to the trailer park. Still, women seem to like us and that is what really matters. The Goo Goo Dolls, Dave Matthews and Fuel are wussy chick bands but I'd give up my last sliver of artistic integrity to get the kind of attention from females that they do.
I am introspecting to solidify my requirements of the other members. I think these are reasonable. Here is what I am going to tell them and what I'll really be thinking.
1. Rehearse at least two times a month. Show up on time and prepared.
It pisses me often having to even mention this, but past experience demands it. I am going to have drive for nearly 2 hours to rehearsal from my new job. If I show up and still have to wait another hour to start playing I am going to become homicidal. Rehearsal at 7pm means we start playing at 7pm, not you start fucking around with your equipment for a half an hour. If you know it is going to take 30 minutes to set your shit up, get there at 6:30. If you can't make it until 8:00 then tell me 24 hours in advance so I don't have to stand there with my thumb up my ass waiting for the prince of rock to saunter in at his leisure. I also refuse to teach anyone their part. It's your job fuckers.
2. Learn new songs.
I like learning new songs. If I didn't I'd still be playing "Proud Mary" and "Old Time Rock and Roll". Playing the same old crap is boring for us and our audience. There is a way to handle this and I will explain it once: We all suggest an equal share of songs and then learn them. Isn't that simple? I do my best to learn and practice other members' suggestions and I become unhappy when it comes time to rehearse a song I like and someone was too busy to learn it or deliberately plays it like ass. If you are going to boycott my song please say immediately so I can suggest a replacement. I will however no longer tolerate the passive-aggressive bullshit of deliberately sabotaging songs so we have to scratch them. If this happens again I will immediately quit and set fire to your equipment.
3. Work on originals.
We have accomplished our goal of being a good covers band. Yippee fucking shit. It is time to move beyond. This is a personal goal of mine. I am getting too old to be playing bar covers. If we don't stop we will end up like all those has-been lame old fart bands that I revile. We are better than that, or at least I am, and would get a lot more respect and following. I have to warn you that this is going to take time and effort (gasp!) so if you are not willing to work a little, I will look for those that will.
To summarize, I don't want to be in a fun band, I want to be in a good band. Do you know what a "fun" band is? It is a musical circle-jerk. It is a bunch of mediocre immature morons too drunk and/or ignorant to know how shitty they sound. It does not take much effort to become good; just desire and a few extra hours a week. If you can't supply that, why should I?
Rock and Roll,
Rabid Weasel
User Reviews
Submitted by SPE (user info) at 2004-03-17 16:23:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My band sucks too, maybe we can be friends.
Without being concieted, I must say its hard playing with people below you on the skill chart. The other 3 guys have no experience with being in a working band, i.e., they don't want to put forth the effort to be uber leet.
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2004-03-17 15:51:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You guys just need to play more venues like this...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/27726
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-17 15:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I've been playing guitar for 9 years. I don't know ONE complete fuckin' song even if I could play most of them on the spot. I'm the LESS "artistic" man on planet earth and yet, I've managed to muster a huge repertoire of personnal riffs that most people find good.
You're not a band. You're just a bunch of copycats that wish to make it big so they can get some decent ass. Play for yourself or just don't.
Conclusion: you're fat, bitter, play in a cover band...can you really suck more ?
Submitted by rbdweasel (user info) at 2004-03-17 14:34:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, this post sucked but I am trying to write something everyday. I swear last night I had a couple great ideas but I can't remember what they were so I figured I'd just bitch.
To address several comments:
1. I do not think I am going to be rich and famous, I just want to play music and not be embarrassed.
2. I thought like Jocko when I was 14.
3. I've tried going solo and it just bores me. I lack the ego and self-discilpine to do it alone.
4. I play guitar and sing. I also play classical guitar and minored in music so I am not a total hack. I tried to atttach an mp3 so you guys could really rip on me but alas, it did not work.
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-03-17 14:15:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh yea Puking, everythings easier when you're alone. Think masturbation.
Wait, what'd I say?
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-17 14:10:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Someday i'm going to +2 one of your posts. Today is just not that day.
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2004-03-17 14:10:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It is truly a cast-iron bitch getting several people together to accomplish anything, especially when not everyone is as passionate about it as you are.
Dump the losers and find some dedicated people, or go solo. It's the only way.
--HeimdallsMan
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2004-03-17 14:09:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
One man band is where it's at, eh TaK? Then you don't have to count on your loser friends to show up or keep a fucking rythm! Fucking white boys, I swear...
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-03-17 14:09:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Women don't like Dave Matthews, they like his fame and fortune. If you want more women get a job.
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-03-17 14:06:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And if you say singer I'm going to throw up on my monitor.
After reading the reviews I have to agree with PukingDog about 5 million percent.
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-03-17 14:04:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree with everything you've said. Especially the part about not playing covers.
This is why I'm a one man band. You don't count on anyone except yourself for progression.
Exactly what do you do in this band?
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2004-03-17 14:04:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not only does your band suck, but so does this post.
Submitted by Jocko_Johnson (user info) at 2004-03-17 14:03:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you haven't made it yet you ain't ever gonna make it.
Maybe you should look into recording arts or something.
If you're playing music for the chicks then you don't have the faintest idea of what rock and roll is a bout asshat.
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2004-03-17 14:03:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Sounds like it sucks. I don't know your disposable income obviously, but you should work on acquiring your own equipment and a place to record, and have fun doing that - working on original stuff, that is. Give up on being famous, though, cause that ain't gonna happen...