Insult your colleagues (451 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.33 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dean Jehan <dean_jehan.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-18 10:19:04 EST
I am fucking sick of sitting at this poxy desy, watching the dull, fat arsed girls blubbering around the office, trying to out-preen each other, and the boring slick-backed hair office boys trying to out brag each other. As such, I have researched and compiled a list of my favourite insults to hurl when they are too close and I can smell their $1 perfume/cologne.
AAAAARRRRRGGGGGH.
Non are original, all make me larf.
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I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
You sound reasonable... Time to up my medication
Do I look like a fucking people person?
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
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Colleagues.
I don't give a flying fuck if you were shortchanged this morning, or your hairdresser went to Marbella or Ken's next-door-neighbour's brothers aunt's slippery half sister has genital warts, or if you're buying the next Ford Focus up because it has the exra can holder for you to put in your lo-sugar, lo taste slim-fast fat busting faux-strawberry drink, because I have a life, I enjoy myself outside this godforsaken shit-hole of an office and I don't CARE that you don't.
LEARN TO USE SOAP. STOP FUCKING TALKING. STOP WEARING THAT FAKE BLING, COS IT AIN'T FLY - IT'S DRY.
Jesus, I really need to get laid don't I............?
User Reviews
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-03-18 11:35:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good insults always make me smile.
These one's were worth a point.
Submitted by deano (user info) at 2004-03-18 11:29:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
But, Trout, giving you the benefit of the doubt, and, as you are the all seeing eye, I'd be interested in your opinion on some truly original material.....
http://www.ubersite.com/m/27971
Submitted by deano (user info) at 2004-03-18 11:22:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 for trout - if you read it you'd note it was all stolen- i said none was original.
poor, really poor. Hey, hang on - don't you work here.....?
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-03-18 11:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Poor, really poor.
and what wasn't was stolen.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-03-18 11:17:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YEAH! You stupid motherFUCKERS. Insults are insatiable, even if a few weren't funny or are overused.