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All I Can Do is Bitch (362 hits)

Category: None

Rating: -1.25 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)

Submitted by Rabid Weasel <rbdweasel.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-18 15:11:57 EST

I love reading posts that crack me up. I wish I could write them but I am painfully not funny. I do have a sense of humor, but it does not seem to relate to the average H. sapiens. In movie theaters when everyone laughs I don't and when I laugh there is dead silence. Oh well, at least I can do depression and anger, which I confess I find extremely funny, so I am going to rant.

I Hate Picky Little Snots (You Included)

I Only Like Bud/MGD/Michelob!
Do you equate *Michael Jackson and beer to pedophilia? If so, you should either learn to appreciate real beer or stick the bong back in your mouth and shut the fuck up. I want to be clear that I like American beer, but the difference between any two is minimal. If I get back from the store with a case and your royal highness has the air to proclaim "Ew, I don't like Bush Light" then please forgive me the next day when I email your mom pictures of your pompous ass lying in a puddle of vomit.

*Michael Jackson is a writer and beer expert, dumbass: http://www.beerhunter.com

I Only Like Coke/Pepsi!
Well, don't you think you are a hoity-toity beverage connoisseur? I have important information for you: This is not a bottle of '69 Chateau de Sucre. We are talking about soda-pop. It is sugar-water reconstituted at an industrial plant with all the complexity of palate as a dum-dum. But it is nice that you have made a thoughtful stance in support of a heartless multinational corporation you bleating stooge.

I Only Like Hunts/Heinz Ketchup!
And do you still have your mommy cut the crusts off of your peanut butter sandwiches while you have a tantrum in your high chair? You should be made to starve until you beg to suck fast food packets. Though ketchup is the pâté of the trailer park, red necks know how to beat kids into liking what food they got. You are the worst of both worlds: a rich, spoiled piece of white trash.

User Reviews

Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2004-03-18 15:40:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

I only drink Pepsi.

Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-03-18 15:35:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -1

meh...

Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-18 15:30:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -1

"[...]I am painfully not funny"
If you wouldn't write this, maybe we'd rate your posts instead of you.
Bitter old man.

Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-03-18 15:30:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -1

Wow.

Really deep stuff.