Holland, the true home of Harry Potter (558 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.19 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <wouter.poos.at.xs4all.nl> (View user info) at 2004-03-19 06:18:44 EST
I've been listening to various I-hate-bush and I-hate-kerry rant here on uber. Of course it's all true but it pales into insignificane compared to the leader of my country.
I live in Holland by the way
This is him (on the bottom of the page): Jan-Peter Balkenende
Yes, I know, the leader of over 16 million people is fucking Harry Potter. He has the overall charisma of a sandbag and about the same posture as one. This is not the face to represent a nation. But alas, I was too young to vote when he was elected into office and had absolute no power over the outcome.
Now don't get me wrong. Holland kicks ass. Not just because of legalized pot and prostitution. Or clogs and windmills for that matter. The only downside is that whenever you go abroad, (that's just about any holiday you take, because Holland is small) especially France. You can hardly breathe for the dumb fucks who keep on asking you if you've got some weed. This is what I answer to that (in French of course)
"No I don't have some weed, 1, If I did smoke weed on a regular basis, which I don't, then do you really think I would be stupid enough to smuggle it into a country that is almost militant in its search for drugs, and secondly, do you think I would be stupid enough to share it with you? No?
Didn't think so, now go away or bite me"
Hmmm, it seems I got kinda distracted. Anyway, back to the main story
It rocks because almost nothing is too weird or different. And what do you get. A fucking trainee wizard who is more conservative than any but the most hard-ass Republican.
The most likely candidate for the post of Prime-minister was Pim Fortuyn. He rocked. First of all he was gay, and very open about it. That's actually the main reason he was perfect for the job. But alas, he got assassinated. (something which only happened once before in the proud history of my country and that was over 400 years ago) So mister no-charisma got to be premier
We sent Balkenende to Bush once. Imagine the latter's face when Harry Potter stepped out the limousine. Now imagine his face if a bald, femine guy stepped out the limousine carrying two little dogs. That would've rocked big time. Who better to represent a nation known for its progressive laws, like legal marriage for gays. Legalized softdrugs. And helping old people kill themselve when they no longer wish to live. (I kind of forgot the term in English for that)
I'm sorry if this wasn't very coherent. But it's the second piece I've ever written. If it is liked I will post some other things about Holland that are cool
User Reviews
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-07-11 19:03:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Lekkere koekjes.
Post more about Holland - I'm thoroughly bored of all the posts about American politics.
Submitted by MrB (user info) at 2004-03-20 14:35:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No,we do not have free welvare....when you have a job, a certain part of your income is withheldfor welvare...so it's never free.
Health care isn't free neither...it's cheap for people under a certain income; but when you're above a certain amount per year, it's not free at all, and you have to pay for it yourself (or your employer takes care of this).
Retirement is a different issue...it's much like the same as with welvare...you pay a certain amount of your income for this...so basicly it's more likean insurance setup. If it were to be paid from taxes, one can consider this more "free" then the setup holland (yes, the netherlands) uses. The amount you get payed is barely enough to get by, so you always have to take care of extra pension besides the retirement fund you get.
As for Wingfoot: please..i beg you....accept this steaming cup of stfu....and stfu. You talk nothing but BS...and to be honest, i'm a bit emberassed by you.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-20 10:27:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Des Français m'ont dit que les Hollandais étaient laids en majorité vu leur minuscule taille.
C'est vrai ?
Submitted by Wingfoot (user info) at 2004-03-20 09:55:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
First of all
HOLLAND AND THE NETHERLANDS ARE THE SAME COUNTRY
now that's out of the way. the first bit is true. the second bit isn't though
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-03-19 11:45:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice post.
I heard Holland is kind of socialist, with free health care, retirement etc. subsidized by the government. Also everyone takes like 6 months off every year to be on welfare. Or is that the Netherlands?
Submitted by MrB (user info) at 2004-03-19 07:53:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Errr, where did you mix the queen up with the prime-minister?
The queen is there to maintain relationships with foreign head-of-states on a public appearance basis.
The Prime minister however, discusses topic with other foreign ministers and prime ministers. You do need a certain level of intelligence for this, the fact you say our prime minister has no power whatsoever clearly shows you either lack a) knowledge on our political system or b) lack knowledge or intelligence alltogether.
This line made me laugh btw:
"As for the France bit, Paris isn't France. Just like Holland isn't Amsterdam."
Paris IS France (fyi, it's their capital city ;-), and Amsterdam IS Holland (our capital city fyi ;-). Your comparison however....was the comparison of a retard ;-)
And yes, France have (mind you: in the past!) attacked our drug policy, but...history is not present, my dear watson.
I am sorry if i'm beeing rude, but like i said, stupid people annoy me.
Submitted by Wingfoot (user info) at 2004-03-19 07:23:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know people said about balkenende that he did so well in school. There's an old asian proverd: You can put a lot of tea in an empty cup. Doesn't it strike you as odd that they never said this about Kok or Lubbers. The Premier doesn't have that much power. So it doesn't matter if he's smart or not. The task of the premier is to talk to foreign dignitaries, and you can't do that well if you look like an idiot
As for the France bit, Paris isn't France. Just like Holland isn't Amsterdam
And can't you remember the big fights France and Holland have had over the years in the EU about our drugs policy. France is the only country to make such a big fuss over it
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-03-19 07:16:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 becaause I like Holland
+1 for Pim Fortuyn
Submitted by MrB (user info) at 2004-03-19 07:14:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Beeing from Holland myself....i must say i've never been asked if i have some pot on me when i was abroad.
Second of all, a month back i went to Paris with friends, and they brought their stash...because even if they smoke every day...it means they want to smoke there every day as well. As for france beeing militant about it...ppl there even smoked in the clubs...and there is no checking at the borders.
As for our prime minister...get your facts straight...he just got back from his second visit to bush.
And yes he looks like an idiot....but luckily he's a professor, with an Iq which probably is three times yours. Fortuyn had some great ideas, and he dared to say what others didn't...but if you wanted him as your prime minister....how'd you think Bush would react if he got him on his doorstep? Sorry....but no.
Get yer facts straight when you post pls. -2 because stupid people annoy me.
Submitted by deano (user info) at 2004-03-19 06:58:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sheesh
Submitted by Ganglion (user info) at 2004-03-19 06:47:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The irony of it... I made a typo whilst attempting to praise your level of English. I won't point it out a second time. Sorry.
Submitted by Ganglion (user info) at 2004-03-19 06:45:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The term is 'Euthanasia'.
A nice little post. I know quite a few Dutch people and your level of English never fails to make sick with envy. Well done.