Whatever Doesn't Kill Me Can Only Make Me Stronger (per iddqd) (1940 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.9 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Esso (View user info) at 2004-03-20 12:44:00 EST
"Hey, man. Whatever doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. Right?"
"Fuck you," I slurred through tequila flavored lips. "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you."
"What's the matter, Ben?"
"Well, Rich, let me tell you what's the matter." And somehow, somehow, through the multicolored haze of the multiple brands of liquor that sloshed around my mind, the memories arose like a big budget flashback. Not even the high-ranking Captain Morgan could keep the painful recollections at bay.
"I wanted the simple things," I began. "You know what I mean, Rich? A good job, a place to live, a decent car, and the girl. I left college thinking that's all I wanted from life. I thought that's all I needed. And a couple of months ago I had all those things. I got them all in just that order. There was no order to the loss, though.
"The job was easy to get. A factory job, forty hours a week, benefits, decent pay. From the get go I made a good impression on everyone there. I moved up the ranks pretty quick and was even told in private that they were priming me for a spot off the factory floor and up in the office. I was happy.
"I was worried about a place to live. I left college, so my parents told me I had to move out. Understandable, you know, but I was nervous about this new step. Luckily, my friend Charles and his wife needed a roommate. A short talk about how we were going to split the bills and I moved into the three bedroom house. Again, I was happy.
"Charles had connections with car dealers around town, what with his auto detailing business and all. He got me a really good deal on a Toyota Celica. It already had tinted windows, a decent little stereo system, it was white with black interior. It was a fun beach car and I was very happy.
"Then came the girl. The girl." I paused here. I poured out two shots of tequila, handed one to Rich, and with a lick, a gulp, and a suck I was given an excuse for the tears in my eyes. My new friend Richard remained quite, thank God, and I continued.
"The girl. I met Liz while working nights for extra money at the Royal Fork Buffet. She was the kind of person who is so damn smart, funny, and outgoing, but has a sort of innocent lack of street smarts that is so endearing. I fell in love with her instantly. I loved her blond hair, I loved her blue eyes, and I especially loved the fact that she would settle for a guy like me. I was completely happy." I paused. "I was complete.
"A year, Rich. I had all these things for a whole year. I would go to work, come home in my awesome car to great friends, and then make love to my girl before we went to bed. Lather, rinse, repeat. I didn't know it then, and I hate to sound cliché, but what can go wrong, will go wrong."
It was Rich's turn to pour the shots. Lick, gulp, suck. I dropped the used lime wedge onto the table and started back into the story before the booze could make me forget what I was doing.
"First, out of the blue, Liz broke up with me. She came over one afternoon, sat next to the tub as I washed away the factory dirt, and told me she didn't want to see each other anymore. I was about to cry, about to bawl like a baby, but instead I slipped under the water. I stared up at her. She was just a wavering shadow. 'This isn't happening,' I thought. But I knew it was.
"Well, depression set in. I started drinking. More. I was coming home later and later from parties and such. The hung-over mornings were beginning to affect my work and my relationship with Charles and his wife. You see, they just had a baby and they wanted to settle into a family life. With my drunk ass stumbling around the house at all hours, they finally had to ask me to move out.
"I got my own studio apartment the next month and living by myself was not good, not good, for the depression. More drinking and drugging. More crying. More sleepless nights. The combination of these led to me breaking my little toe on the door jamb about two weeks into living there. Now I was able to add Vicoden to my diet. The downward spiral.
"A week after that I got a Minor In Possession ticket for drinking at a small party that got busted on a noise complaint. Did a ticket from drinking curb my alcohol intake? Nope. I got more depressed and the drinking binges increased.
"Then two weeks after that was the accident." Rich's eyes widened. "Oh yeah, I got in a huge car accident, too. That was pretty much the biggest hit from the shit storm I was caught in. Oh, more stuff happened, but it was just aftershocks.
"I was driving down I-5, tired from drinking that previous night, and all I wanted to do was get home and sleep. Instead, I fell asleep in the driver's seat. I woke up to the loud thumping of my tires rolling over the ruts they put in the side of the road to wake-up assholes like me. I swung the wheel to the right and, in a panic, overcorrected to the left. In that moment I knew something bad was going to happen. I closed my eyes thinking, 'I really don't want to see how I die.'
"My Celica rolled down the freeway at seventy miles per hour. I heard later that some of the witnesses put the number of rolls between fifteen and twenty. All I remember is yelling 'Fuck' and then suddenly people we're all around the car telling me to climb out the back because they smelled gasoline. Since the doors were smashed shut, I climbed out the recently departed hatchback window and laid down in the grass in the median. That got me an ambulance ride and trip to the hospital.
"Well, with the injuries from the accident, I was unable to do my job at the factory. Instead of laying me off or firing me, they told me to stay home until I healed up. With no income from work or unemployment or disability, I couldn't afford my studio and had to move into this one bedroom apartment with two other financially challenged friends."
I looked around the small living room. The apartment was decorated in an alcoholic, pizza-eating, porn-loving bachelor motif. I shuddered and looked back at Rich.
"That's how bad it is, man. This is how bad it is. I had it all, and now I can barely afford to buy Top Ramen. I use toilet paper one square at a time. I have to walk a half mile to a pay phone if I want to talk to anyone and a couple of faded 'Demolition Man' Taco Bell cups make up our glassware. 'Whatever doesn't kill you can only make you stronger.' Well let me tell you, buddy: I sure as shit don't feel any stronger."
Rich poured out two more shots, the last two shots, and looked at me worriedly.
"Dude," he said, handing me my dose of Cuervo. "I was only talking about how I just kicked your ass at checkers. Are you all right?"
Lick, gulp, suck.
User Reviews
Submitted by cellar_door (user info) at 2004-04-01 19:27:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story. Drinking is not the solution, but it sure alleviates some of the pain, eh?
Submitted by esso_merda (user info) at 2004-03-24 03:32:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know what j_ghost? I hate that saying as well. I may just write about that...
Submitted by j_ghost (user info) at 2004-03-24 03:00:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
very nice
how bout writing one about that other annoyingly bullshit phrase:
"its better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all"
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-03-22 18:24:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by esso_merda (user info) at 2004-03-22 18:15:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
IndianOcean...This tale is based on a bad time of my life, fictionalized a bit for entertainment purposes. Life sure likes to mix it up, eh?
Submitted by MrB (user info) at 2004-03-20 19:16:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
excellent piece of work.
Submitted by maleficent1 <Maleficent1111.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-03-20 17:37:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed, I cried--nice work
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2004-03-20 17:27:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was great.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-03-20 15:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes.
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2004-03-20 13:46:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
man.. Is this true.. I don't know the background from your past post.
If this is true.. God damn.. god damnnn
if not.. great imagination.
Submitted by MadScientist (user info) at 2004-03-20 13:07:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thoroughly enjoyed this one... Have you made a simple comment like that, only to have someone go off about some completely irrelevant topic? Fuckin funny.
Two Thumbs Up. Fine holiday Fun!
Submitted by Kilgore (user info) at 2004-03-20 13:06:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Whoever said whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger was never mauled by a bear.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-03-20 12:56:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh, cool. nice last comment from the friend, almost callous disregard for his friends misfortune - i love it.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-03-20 12:54:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it...