If at First You Don't Succeed, Redefine Success! (1937 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.16 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DrinkDDT (View user info) at 2004-03-20 13:27:18 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/27818
I never really understood that cliche. But I knew before you can redefine something, you should define it first. Websters dictionary defines success as "The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted".
As a side note, did you ever wonder how Webster could write an entire dicitonary and STILL be a television star? Gary Coleman never did that shit!
Anyway, since I never achieve anything I attempt (not even suicide), I decided it would indeed be a great idea to redefine success. So I opened good ol' Webster to a random page, closed my eyes, and pointed at a random definition.
Wouldn't you know it, the totally random definition turned out to be that of the word DILDO. Webster defines a DILDO as "An object used as a substitute for an erect penis".
Fantastic.
Now seeing as how I'm a scholarly young lad who attends class fairly often, I understood that I could substitute the word "DILDO" for the word "success" in any instance (because DILDO and success now have the same meaning, DUH!).
So now, lets say I am a scientist researching the cure for cancer. If I were to find the cure, I could shout "DILDO!" for all to hear. I could only dream of having such DILDO in my career. DILDOS like that in the medical field would be so fantastic!
Of course some might argue that my logic is flawed. But let me assure you I've had tons of DILDO in the past, and I see nothing but DILDO in my future. I know Webster would agree.
User Reviews
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-24 04:25:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If at first you don't succeed
Fuck the world and smoke some weed
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-03-30 01:18:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
if at first you don't succeed,,,go take a shit in your bathtub and eat it.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2004-03-22 03:46:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehehe.
Submitted by lndianOcean (user info) at 2004-03-22 01:33:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was soo toasted when I wrote this.
Redefine success...what a laugh...
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-03-21 03:27:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Curse you Sideburns for taking my reply concept!
Submitted by backsagainstthewall (user info) at 2004-03-21 03:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Boooorrrringgg. Next.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-03-21 02:54:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, if dildo is substituted for success, then I can assume that sucess took the place of the word dildo.
Boy, I could sure use a huge, vibrating success in my ass right now.
-Sideburns
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-03-20 19:26:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
if at first you dont get dildoed, try try again.
hehe
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-03-20 17:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is creativity.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-03-20 15:36:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
no, this post is EBOLA!
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2004-03-20 15:28:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The only good DILDO is hard, earned, DILDO.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-03-20 15:22:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I find a fortune cookie that uses dildo in it, I will know you were dildoful.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-03-20 15:19:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
May you be filled with dildo in everything that you do.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-03-20 14:56:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Emmanuel Lewis is my hero. I want to grow up and be just like him!
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-03-20 14:48:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe you are a genius.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-03-20 14:23:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you will be dildoful in your endeavors.
Submitted by Mr_Insanity (user info) at 2004-03-20 14:08:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, This post is a DILDO.
Submitted by MadScientist (user info) at 2004-03-20 13:35:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If at first you dont succeed, shoot 'em a bird and leave
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-03-20 13:34:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Webster, that's enough for a -2 right there.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-03-20 13:29:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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