How to become God (2341 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 0.71 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SammySam <LWSamways.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-21 19:10:34 EST
Yes you can do it, in fact it's quite simple.
Here's what you do:
As we all know God is the father of Jesus and Jesus as we all know is a jew. If jesus was a jew then he must have been circumcised right? right! and even though his body was taken up to heaven or whatever happened to it. I dunno I'm not a preist or anything but what I do understand is that his foreskin is still around. In fact his foreskin was on display in some wack ass church years and years ago until someone stole it. So we've come to the conclusion that it is around though and that's what's impotant.
Anyway it's your job to find Jesus's foreskin and then go to school and learn how to make little lambs out of DNA and shit. Then use that technology to create a new jesus out of his foreskin. Once you have done that then you will be the creator of Jesus which would also make you God by default. Now, God may not like this idea too much but if you explain to him that the winds of change are a howlin then I'm sure he/she/it will at least make a compromise.
I mean for cryin' out loud how much work does a guy have to go through to get some recognition around here?
User Reviews
Submitted by Shiriru at 2004-07-19 18:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ROFLMAO
That was hillarious!!!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-04-16 03:58:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll have to look into that, then I can cast you to hell.
Submitted by Supremebeing (user info) at 2004-03-22 04:38:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I AM GOD hense the name Supremebeing! :P
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2004-03-22 01:00:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i am god.. check my aol screen name.. it's LORD1300 for a reason...
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-21 22:28:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2004-03-21 21:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's all about respect from the nuns
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23614
Submitted by AnnabelLee (user info) at 2004-03-21 21:40:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Wow, I didn't know Jesus' foreskin was just hanging around the world somewhere...+1 for teaching me somethin'.
Submitted by SammySam (user info) at 2004-03-21 20:04:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like something that he would write but I've never read Choke, maybe I'll have to someday. I guess it proves that great minds think alike.
Submitted by Guest at 2004-03-21 19:53:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hmm...sounds suprisingly like what happened in Choke by Chuck Pahaluniuk
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-03-21 19:33:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus' foreskin was consumed in 1987 along with a bag of Old Dutch Pork Rinds.
You fail.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-03-21 19:15:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Wow. Wow. Um... I'm going to give this a +1 because... somehow, someway... I think that you maybe somehow earned it for figuring this out... yes.