Boyfriend Transition Success (819 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.83 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by LacyFace16<lacyface16.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-22 09:57:22 EST
Friday night I picked Matt up from the BWI airport because he was kind enough to fly up from St. Pete, FL to make the trip back down to Florida with me. I didn't even notice him because I was too busy contemplating all the things I had left to cross off on my *list of shit to do*. I admit, it was slightly awkward when I first saw him but I managed a heartfelt hug and small talk as we waited the hour for his bag to roll off the plane.
For a short time I had been waiting to talk to him about something very important but was not sure if this was the right time. So I waited...
Finally got his bag and drove another hour to my house. Went straight to bed as it was already 2am and we had to get up by 8am. First transition....he slept in the guest room. Normally we would sleep in the same bed, even if we weren't hooking up.
It was strange having him in the room next to me instead of having him laying right next to me. But I felt okay about it and finall fell asleep.
Next morning I woke him up and we both got ready for our long day of traveling. The *very important* thing i wanted to talk to him about was on the tip of my tongue the entire time we were getting ready and finally I couldn't wait any longer so I smiled in that way where he knows just by looking at me i have to tell him something. He asked, of course, probably assuming it was something completely different than what i wanted to say...
...*so i really like your friend Mike.* (Mike is one of Matt's friends from home. I do realize in guy world this is a major NO so i wanted to talk to him first before pursuing anything real with Mike.)
He tells me he already knows I like Mike because he can tell. And furthermore, he is Ok with it! He just wants me to be happy, even though it is a little weird. He tells me that Mike is a good guy and we'd probably get along really well.
I am shocked! He wasn't mad like i thought. I pictured an explosion of rage along with alot of angry name calling. BUT NO. He was great. So, that's 1,000 lbs. lifted off my shoulders. wheww.
Left my Mom's house around 10:30. I didn't cry while I was saying goodbye. Only after I walked out the front door and had that sudden urge to run back in for one last hug before I left. I didn't go back in, I hugged Matt and cried. I know that if he hadn't been with me I don't think I would have been able to make the trip. I would have been an emotional wreck.
We did leave and we drove to Virginia where we were to catch the auto train traveling south to Sanford, FL. It left at 4pm and we got in the next day at 11am. Long Ride!!! But it was an adventure for us and a time to bond as friends. We played chess. We talked about our prospective others. He had met a girl, too so it was nice to talk about both of our social lives. I admit, it was difficult to hear some things at times but he is my best friend so i want him to be happy. Besides, who am i to tell him who he can and cannot date.
We left the train station and drove to St. Pete where we said goodbye. The only moment where I felt more than friendship was in saying goodbye. We shared a quick kiss and hug but in that instant we both knew it could have lead to trouble. And thankfully it did not. And we managed our first weekend together without hooking up. This is a record for us because in 5 years we have never not hooked up.
I must say, it is a great feeling to know that you can have such a close friendship with an ex lover. Most people do not understand the relationship we have but we are still as close as we ever were. We both want each other's happiness and care very deeply about each other. I think, we may not have been soulmates in the term of lovers and being together forever, but we certainly are soulmate friends and I think we always will be in life forever. I am glad for the transition. I think it will bring new adventures for us in the *friend-zone*.
...so now i'm in florida and it is beautiful!
User Reviews
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-03-22 23:20:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It can work but is not the general rule.
+2 to you both for making it work.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-03-22 19:38:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
..wonder if alchemist knows that 'Matt the ex' is reallybored..
I still think you're both awesome, and it's amazing that you can be friends like that.
Lord knows I don't have the willpower.. :/
Welcome to Florida, Lacy.. it's an alright place.
Submitted by alchemist (user info) at 2004-03-22 12:45:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm only saying -2 because you actually believed that bullshit your ex gave you about being okay with you liking his friend. If that guy Mike is any sort of friend to your ex, he'll stay the hell away from you. Rule number 1 in the guy handboook, stay away from your friend's ex.
And if he did mean that crap, he's a pussywhipped moron.
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-03-22 12:39:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Have to give this a(nother) +2 because, even though I've used this site as a forum a few times before, you are using it as a forum to say how happy you are.
"Imagine if I made an authentic coherent post saying how happy I was?"
Can't imagine that. I don't read your posts.
Submitted by Ymeister19 (user info) at 2004-03-22 12:02:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice work. This doesent usually work for me cause I allways end up still having sex with my exs for months after we break up. But the one that I had the best relationship with is now still my friend. She wasnt for awhile but now that Im away from using drugs all the time we get along wonderfully.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-03-22 12:02:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Have to give this a -2 because, even though I've used this site as a forum a few times before, you are using it as a forum to say how happy you are. Imagine if I made an authentic coherent post saying how happy I was? -2, -2, -1, 0, -1, -1, insane reviews. Just expressing how I feel, people don't generally like to hear about happy stuff, we wanna read Iraqi women being murdered by U.S soliders!
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-03-22 11:59:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Way to go Lacey.
I've got a Ubercon question now for your Floridians.
Where's a good place for all of us crazy cats to meet? Is there a cool pub or restaurant that would make for a very public (so the stalkers can't kill their pray) place? Also, how is everyone going to get in touch?
Maybe someone should make a post about all this, or discuss it some other way.
I'm on AIM at BadassSC, or the email for my account works if anyone wants to clue me in.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-03-22 11:58:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the auto train is cool
Submitted by the_rick <therickva.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-03-22 11:44:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The relationship with him won't work out. Once you've been "more than friends" with someone, you can't go back... usually because no matter what the guy acts like, he still wants to bone you. He may have another girlfriend but as soon as things go sour he'll want some pity booty from you.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-22 11:15:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Reallybored, actually, I'm having a great relationship with my current ex right now.
On the other hand I still have this ex who call to interrogate me on who I'm dating or ask to my surroundings. Another one was even spying my parent's house at night to see what I was doing when I lived there. Another one was so desperate that she started stalking my new girlfriend to a point where I was considering to call the police.
Ironically, they all told me "it's not my problem who you date, you have the right to be happy".
You should always watch out for self-absorbed people who say this, you don't know what hides beneath.
Submitted by Dlove (user info) at 2004-03-22 11:01:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's great you got the go ahead from your ex, but then again most ex's that are trying the "friend" thing wouldn't tell you no.
Good luck with the Mike fellow, but it probably depends on how good of friends he is with your ex to determine whether or not he'll go for it.
If they are/were pretty close, then he may not...sort of a "no fly zone" if you ask me.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-22 10:48:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh and to all the girls who are worried that im taken. Im still single, so dont go killing yourselves just yet.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-22 10:47:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Caulincourt - Bitter much?
"Most girls would want their ex to rot in loneliness after they're done with him so their pride remains unhurt and untouched. I've witnessed it, experienced it and it makes me puke. "
Im sorry that you got fucked over before. It must really bother you to see two people who dated actually have a good friendship afterwards. It must hurt.
Kaelic - HA! Funny hearing that comming from you.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-22 10:39:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Now I see why your ex didn't make such a big fuss over you. I wouldn't.
But you're right, you shouldn't care about what I think - even if I'm right.
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2004-03-22 10:32:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nowhere in this post did i say anything about him rotting in loneliness. i want him to be happy. he is my best friend. i was the one who encouraged him to try to meet someone.
go fuck yourself, you know nothing about me. just b/c you were screwed over by an ex doesn't mean the world of exes is a bunch of assholes.
actually, do i really give a shit what you think...i think not. you have no idea what you're talking about.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-22 10:28:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"geez sorry if i'm only human"
Correction: geez sorry if i'm only another immature woman
Most girls would want their ex to rot in loneliness after they're done with him so their pride remains unhurt and untouched. I've witnessed it, experienced it and it makes me puke.
I concur with Kaelic.
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-03-22 10:26:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I saw nothing wrong this...people act like it's a crime for someone to post about themselves, and it's stupid.
Welcome to Florida, LacyFace. Hope you like it.
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2004-03-22 10:21:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hmm ME, ME, ME??? well, it was a post about my trip to florida. don't really know how it couldn't have been about me... i'll think on that one.
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2004-03-22 10:20:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this was the first girl he has liked since me and we were together for 4 years. yes it bothered me slightly but not enough to cause a problem. geez sorry if i'm only human.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-03-22 10:19:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have nothing against you, personally, but this post made me sick. What the fuck is wrong with you? You're seriously one self absorbed, selfish human being. Everything is about you, huh.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-22 10:13:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Besides, who am i to tell him who he can and cannot date. "
That means it bothered you. How typical.
Submitted by Nosearian (user info) at 2004-03-22 10:09:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome to your new home! Have fun!