Something different from wooden shoes, dikes and windmills. (498 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <Dutch Bastard> (View user info) at 2004-03-23 13:50:21 EST
Hello out there, ignorant world!
Who am I? Well, I'm just a bastard born and raised in the Netherlands, 20 years of age and have a growing hatred of humanity. This text is one in a series of rants against the idiotic people that can be found in and around my country.
This time I will stay close to home, it's time to look at one of the most disturbing group of people since the 'gabber' generation.
Stop me if this seems familiar, it is the BrEeZaH sLuT community. Named after one of their favorite alcohol containing drinks: Bacardi Breezer.
http://www.sunset-club.de/pics/spons/breezer.jpg
Now I realize most other countries sell this crap too, but the Dutch teenagers have perfected the art of drinking it and getting drunk. So well in fact that it has litteraly spawned it's own community.
Please not that it is perfectly legal to drink at the age op 16, strong alcoholic drinks can be purchased at the age of 18.
Some pointers on how to recognize these poor fools:
How to recognize BrEeZaH SlUtS:
* Age: between 14 and 17 years (older types are cast out of the community as they are to be considered to be too old)
* All have a spelling disorder, mainly because they think it's cool to type like an ass
* All type like this: My BoYFrIeNd ToOk My ViRgInItY wHeN i WuZ 13
* Long blond hair (and an IQ to match)
* Use shampoo of a particular brand (Fructis is the most used Shampoo brand right now)
* All use 'Impulse' Deodorant, but they use it as a body spray.
* Every ear is pierced with 4 holes
* All wear HUGE gold colored earrings
* Apply one layer of lip gloss every five minutes
* Always have a purse with them
* Have a gold chain with their name on it (don't forget, they're blond)
* They have at least 5 layers of make-up on
* Always busy with their SMS function on their Nokia's
* Always standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, powdering their nose
* Dance like headless chickens and scream like idiots
* Most of them lost their virginity at the age of 13
* Always starts a conversation with "do you remember, last night on MSN?"
* Got annoyingly long MSN names
* Use (k) a lot in those MSN names
* Are always online on MSN
* Don't have a fuckin' clue what ICQ/(m)IRC is
* Call all their friends 'dushies'
* Think that Brad Pitt is a 'HoT sTuD!'
* They like all music that's in the top 40.
* Send a lot of SMS to the box (or here in Holland: TMF)
* All smoke Marlboro Lights
* Brag about the years they've been smoking
* Are always having trouble with their parents
* Cry a fucking lot, over the slightest things (mostly over nothing)
* Act like they have some serious trouble
* Got a new boyfriend every two weeks (this is much debated, actual time is shorter many believe)
* Every other month they are afraid they are pregnant.
* All have a CU2 account, check CU2 and go to a random account, most likely you see a Breezer drinking slut.
* Always answer to the question "alcohol or sex": First the alcohol, then the sex
* Always answer to the question "do you believe in extraterrestrial life": Yes, just look in the mirror *giggle*
* Hug eachother like crazy (as if you're watching full house all over again!)
* Greet eachother like they haven't seen eachother in years
* Are always complaining
* Think beer is for bums (fact: they don't like the taste)
* Occasionally drink white wine
* Also drink redbull mix drinks or Bacardi Cola
* Always cheat in school
* Aways hate the math teacher (it's a standard so I've noticed)
* All got a tongue and/or belly piercing
* All want a dolphin tatoo sooner or later
* Eat a lot of snacks and/or crisps, and wonder exactly why they are becoming fat
* But they at least drink diet coke
* All go though a period where they want to kill themselves, because they can't take it anymore
* Cry out for a lot of attention
* Don't know how a VCR works, or any piece of machinery (except for a PC, which is obviously used for MSN)
* All wear a string, no matter the size of the ass
* At least had sex in the changing booth at a public swimming pool once.
* Will work a cash register at the local supermarket when they grow up (usually right after they've reached the age of 18)
* All use the same type of handwriting (it's still a mystery to me how they've achieved this feat)
* Got a pen with a feathery top
* Are almost always having arguments with one particular friend
* When an error occurs on the pc (and when does this not happen with windows) they blindly press the yes button
* Brag about how they've had six joints, 3 xtc pills and 10 Bacardi Breezers on one night (remember, this is the Netherlands we are talking about)
* All want to buy a 'Suzuki alto' or 'Fiat panda' when they are old enough
* All are afraid of spiders, scream and run like mad when they see one, no matter how big it is
* Sit at the top row in a movie theater
* Never know when to shut up in a movie theater
* Got lot's of pictures of Tupac Shakur on the wall
* Don't have a fucking clue who Tupac Shakur is
* Think teletubby's are cute, despite their age
* Think Sesame Street's Elmo is cute, despite their age
* Don't have respect for the elderly
* Want to show off just when a cute guy is near
* Cut their wrists over the slightest things
* Al least have one big fight with their best friend
* Immediatly tells all her best friends secrets when they do
* Think it's odd they are viewed as cheap sluts
* All think they are important and original
* All dress and look the same
* All, and I do mean all, like to use their webcam
If you are by any chance still not clear on how to recognize these 'women', please feel free to look at the following page, it has a fine selection of the cheapest BrEeZaH SlUtS you can find in my lovely country.
http://www.breezerchicks.com/
The real problem is that you see them everywhere these days. And it's starting to make me sick to see them on every corner. But just like 'gabbers' they will die out eventually.
Stay tuned for a next rant on gabbers. A social layer of Holland best be forgotten.
User Reviews
Submitted by abefroman42 (user info) at 2004-11-09 17:53:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
derka derka derka. muhammad (-2) jihad.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-03-23 21:04:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I always thought San Francisco was the land of dykes.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-03-23 20:14:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yah... i'm in the good Ol' USA and it doesn't appear as if there's much of a huge difference.
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2004-03-23 14:34:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hee. Dit was wel redelijk, maar hou rekening met het feit dat de meesten mensen op deze site Amerikaans zijn, en dus geen fuck weten van Holland (uitzondering: wiet) en dat het ze meestal ook geen fuck kan schelen. In ieder geval, welkom ;)
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-23 14:18:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I went to that website and they look hot. But in America we just called them whores. Or slores really. We dont differentiate (sp?) dependant on their drinks. FYI.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-03-23 14:10:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Welcome to the fact that you are muturing. You experiencing what is called the generation gap.
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-03-23 14:00:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You have quite a lot of time on your hands, don't you?