Women that give up on their kids. (1218 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.5 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rick Avery <dazd1.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-25 16:56:34 EST
I am the single father of 2 children, a boy that's almost 17 years old and a girl that's 8 years old. Both of my children have different mothers yet they both have one very disturbing similarity.
Both of the children's mothers decided that they didn't want to raise their children because they wanted remain single and unattached to anything. This included their children. Why is it that women nowadays seem to think that if they have children they can just forget about them after leaving them with the fathers and then go live life like they don't have any responsibly in the world?
In 2000 their was approximately 2.2 million single fathers in the across the country. That was a 62% increase since 1990. I'm sure by now that number has increased dramatically. What's happening that is causing women to just walk out and leave their children without a mother?
In my case, after my first wife and I separated I moved back out to California. After about a year I was due for a vacation from work. I decided to take my vacation back east to see my son since I had not seen him in all that time. I had only sent him letters and talked with him on the phone but since he was only about 1 ½ years old, it wasn't good enough for me just to have that correspondence that way.
At the time my first wife and I were talking about maybe trying again to work things out and get back together for my son's sake. When I got their however I had noticed something about my ex-wife that told me that she was not serious about what we had been talking about for months and it started a fight. I asked her to take me back to the airport because I did not want to spend my entire vacation arguing with her. At that time she told me that she wanted me to stay so that she could spend that time with my son since she wanted me to take him back to California with me.
My Ex had decided that she was too young to take care of my son alone and that she wanted to go live out her life that she missed as a young adult. She was not able to have the fun that many young people take advantage of since she moved around so much during that time because of her father's job. I felt that she was being a little selfish but agreed because I wanted to spend more time with my son.
I got my son home and for 8 years I did not hear from my ex-wife. She had moved and did not give me her new address. I had everyone that I could look for her to have her served with court papers for custody with no luck. I eventually got custody without finding her due to her abandoning my son. My daughter's story is similar except that her mother comes into her life for a while then disappears for months at a time. I have sole legal and sole physical custody of her also.
What is it with women these days? It seemed to be when I was my children's age that all my friends that lived in a divorced families, lived with their mothers. The fathers were not around and the stories were that children had to live hard lives because they did not have their fathers around for male guidance. Now it seems that the fathers are the ones that are taking responcibity in quite a few situations and the mothers are not the picture. How did it get this way? I have yet to come up with an answer to this question. I can't figure out a good answer when my children ask my why mom doesn't call or come see them.
Yet the court system in many cases that I hear about are still so pro-mother that many of the single fathers have difficulty getting custody of their children even though the mother is no where to be found. I have been to court many times with my daughter's mother and even though she bounces in and out of my daughter's life they won't do anything to help. I'm not sure what they could do other than maybe make her take parenting classes or some sort of psych evaluation. Something needs to be done before we have a whole bunch of messed up adults that in turn mess up a whole bunch of future children.
User Reviews
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-02-03 12:21:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The world is changing fast. Not for the better, I believe. That was very interesting to
read. I figured the only thing it was lacking was statistics. I like statistics O_o
Here's some!
There are 11.9 million single parents in the US.
28% (20 million) of all children in the US under 18 live with one parent.
84% of children who live with one parent live with their mother.
The number of single mothers (9.8 million) has remained constant while the number of
single fathers grew 25% in three years to 2.1 million in 1998. Men comprise one-sixth
of the nation's single parents.
http://www.singleparentcentral.com/factstat2.htm
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-02-03 00:28:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rick, I wish you the best. Hany in there.
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2004-08-26 20:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-03-25 17:27:59 (#)
Ranking: 1
... or maybe stop knocking up slores? "
lol
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-03-25 22:30:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe they watch too much Sex in the City or something.
Submitted by Dazd1 (user info) at 2004-03-25 22:23:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A couple of the replies said something about dating older women. This is why I don't understand what has happened to some women's maternal instinct. Both of these women are in their mid to late 30s. In fact my 1st wife will be 40 this year.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2004-03-25 20:23:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That is fucked up, but pout of curiosity, are you a lot older than these women you married? You seem to be a lot more mature.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-03-25 19:54:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're supposed to do the psych evaluation BEFORE you have children.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-03-25 19:52:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep interesting. I was a single father for a while with one child.
Now happily remarried to a lovely lady and four more of hers.
WE are NOT having any more!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-25 18:23:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-03-25 18:10:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You have my sympathy. Feminism and political corretness have destroyed any last vestige of family values. I don't mind women enjoyng the same freedoms as men, but really, if something as major as a child pops out of you, how can you just leave it? We live in a selfish, postively-discriminated country, but hey, it sure beats Iraq.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-03-25 18:01:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, you sure pick the wrong chicks.
Get a dog and a quality porno.
Submitted by modusjoe (user info) at 2004-03-25 17:48:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That is so true. Just another example of the growing inequality in our society. People will think that this remark is meant to be humorous, but its not. Women cant get drafted, yet men can. Women get to enjoy all the benefits of democracy with none of the responsibility. Also, in schools teachers are paying more attention to the girls. That is why there is a startlingly large gap between grade adverages between male and female, becuase the teachers want to help the women so that the women dont get "discriminated against." Hey, I should write a post about that.
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-03-25 17:45:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"responcibity"
......^
------|
There is no excuse for that one. I am sure that the figures have increased for women, but I am sure they have most likely increased a lot more for men. Look at that statistic. My theory is that there are more screwed up women now, therefore there are more screwed up mothers.
Same thing goes for men. I am not a sexist so all you feminazis....PISS OFF
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-03-25 17:27:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
... or maybe stop knocking up slores?
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-03-25 17:22:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Rick,
Although what you say is somewhat true, my guess is that the number of single parent mother-only families has risen by an equal or greater percentage than the one you mention about fathers.
My only guess is that as humans become more mature as a species, our basic instincts become weaker. I would bet that if we were able to measure maternal instinct in women now, it would be much lower level than it was even a thousand years ago. Some say we don't evolve that quickly, but I contend that humans DO evolve that quickly when it comes to non-physical attributes.
Either way, your story is a sad one. I wish you the best of luck in choosing the mother of your next child. I'm not being insincere when I say that you might want to consider dating women a little older.
Bon chance.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-03-25 17:16:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post. I've noticed it a lot too, women just passing the responsibility that comes with having a child. I can in no way endavor to explain it, for I've got no clue about it myself.