Tattoos and Tattooing A Perspective (3659 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 0.95 on 44 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lawryde (View user info) at 2004-03-25 18:04:04 EST
Stop reading now if you don't like rambling because this is going to be a bit of rambling without much of a point. Don't say I didn't warn you.
So I've seen a few people on Uber have gotten tattoos and put up posts about it. All I've got to say to the majority of you people is, Wow, are you blind? All of your stuff looks like a two year old picked up a guitar string and starting jamming it into your flesh. The subject matter is the second thing I can't stand. When you get a tattoo, you have the ability to get WHATEVER you want on you for the rest of your life. However, most people get some tribal crap (even I fell victim to the "tribal" curse) that looks like every other douche on the block with a tattoo. Back to my previous statement. I'm serious, whatever your mind can dream of you can get tattooed on you (with the help of a good artist). Yet some of you insist on getting the Chinese lettering for love and teddy bear farts? What the fuck are you thinking?
I'm pretty heavily tattooed (Full back piece, Right sleeve in progress, medium left shoulder piece) So I've gone through what I like to call the five stages of tattooing.
Stage one: Oh fuck, I don't live with my parents anymore and I need to do something rebellious and get a tattoo to define myself in this vast universe and prove to everyone else with a tattoo that I'm an individual, that I'm me and that I'm a special little shit. whew! I better chill for a day and think about what I want, It is permanent you know.
My stage one tattoo was the word Invictus on my right shoulder. Invictus is the Latin word for unconquerable, and there is a nice poem by William Ernest Henley by the same title.
OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
There was my deep meaning and ten minutes later I was inked. I felt like a bad motherfucker. My six inch long one inch high lettering was so cool. I strutted around with my sleeve up for the next week proud as can be until stage two
Stage two: Oh fuck, my tattoo is kind of small compared to all the cool kids who have tattoos. I really need something to define me more as a person, yeah that's it. I need some sort of thing that describes my soul and my inner person.
My stage two tattoo was a phoenix on the center of my back. It's about twelve inches tall and seven inches across. Let me tell you something, it hurt. Anyone who has been tattooed on their spine can attest to the fact that getting tattooed there hurts an unimaginable amount. Two and a half hours later I was done.
A brief interlude about the euphoria associated with the aftermath of being tattooed. I love the two or three hours after a long tattooing session. Your body has dumped all of the natural drugs it can into your system and it's the most sublime feeling in the world. Your tattoo has a nice burning sensation to it, not too bad, just enough to let you know your alive. I usually just lay on my bed high as a kite and let my wife perform sexual favors on me (she digs tattooed guys)
Anyway, this leads to stage three: That big tattoo really fucking hurt and I don't think I can handle getting another one. Yup, I'm done. I've got my fill of ink and it was cool and all, but there are more important things to spend my money on. I've shown society and myself I'm can pass through this right of passage and I'm a rebel and it's time to move on. Some amount of time passes and some tragedy strikes your life. (Tragedy will strike you in life no matter how good it is, and it will happen several times especially after your stage two tattoo) Oh shit, how the fuck could this happen to me, us, them. I need something to commemorate them, us, it. I know!!! I'll get the coolest tattoo to remember them, us, it with.
My stage three tattoo was when my grandfather died. He was the coolest guy I ever knew, infinitely wise, witty, kind. After the funeral I knew what my tattoo would be to remember him and my grandmother, who died before I had gotten to stage three. I was going to get a big fuck off angel underneath my phoenix that would stretch from just above my ass to my shoulder blades. I'm 6'3", that's a big fucking angel. I went to my tattoo artist Rich and told him my idea. He drew something up and we got started. Your stage three tattoo will both hurt more than anything else you've ever experienced, and be the most therapeutic thing for your grieving... That's all I have to say about stage three...
This brings us to stage four... Oh fuck I love tattoos. I'm going to become the fucking tattooed man. Tattooing is like heroin for me. God I can't get enough, I love the fucking afterglow of getting a tattoo. All of my tattoos are better than yours and they have deep seated meaning for me.
My stage four tattoos are the rest of the filler on my back, my left shoulder piece, the start of my right sleeve, and my wife and my similar tattoos. Stage four is like being a junkie. You spend all your time and money getting tattoos. You don't hang out with non tattooed people and all you can think about is what your next tattoo is going to be. I spend over 40 hours being tattooed and THOUSANDS of dollars. My stage four lasted about 3 years.
Stage Five... Oh fuck, I guess tattoos don't need to have a deep spiritual meaning, at least not all of them. You only get one shot at this life, but sometimes you've just got to lighten up and realize you're not that important. Getting flash is still hella lame though. My tattoos are still better than yours, even the non serious ones.
My stage five tattoo is a green monkey on the front of my right hip. My wife scribbled it as a drawing while we were at the Madison, WI tattoo convention and we both cracked up laughing at it. It's two circles one for the body and the other for the head with stick arms and legs and a line tail. It looks like a two year old drew it, but it's so funny looking you can't help laughing. It's my, "You can't take life too seriously", tattoo.
So that's were I am right now, stage five. I would guess there are more stages. I don't think I'll ever dislike my tattoos, and even if I do I'll never get them removed. They're like a road map for the happy and sad times in my life. I can look at them and remember an exact moment in my history like it was yesterday.
If you're one of those non-tattooed people, I feel sorry for you. If there isn't one thing in your life that you care about more than anything else that you aren't willing to have on you for the rest of your life, you need to search for some passion in your life. When you do decide though, for the love of God, don't get something on the wall or that every other person before you got. Tell your artist your idea and get an original work of art put on you.
Oh, and if you think I'm some Hillbilly, hick, Neanderthal (thanks Quack), I'm not. I've got a Bachelors of Science in Mechanical Engineering from the University of Wisconsin Madison. Underneath my white collar are some sweet tattoos.
http://studentservices.engr.wisc.edu/innovation/2004.html
I'm the kid with the tattoo machine
http://www.tattoomadison.com/
Where I get all my ink from Richey Rich
I leave you with the words of legendary tattoo artist Lyle Tuttle
"Tattoos aren't for everyone, and they're too God-damn good for some people"
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-27 12:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Stages 2-7 are gonna look "REALLY BOSS" man, when you're 65.
Nice going, Sherlock.
Submitted by ILL34GL3 (user info) at 2005-01-27 12:40:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57731
Finally someone else that can see these tattooed goons for what they are.
Submitted by DetroitCity (user info) at 2004-07-08 19:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've got a big D on both of my forearms... DETROIT WHAT!!!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-08 18:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We know what your other username is now.
Submitted by JMcBride (user info) at 2004-07-08 17:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Robot9698 is gay
Submitted by Robot9698 (user info) at 2004-07-08 15:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by JMcBride (user info) at 2004-06-10 16:38:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so sexy
Submitted by JMcBride (user info) at 2004-06-10 16:38:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
tattooed guys are sexy
Submitted by daggotht (user info) at 2004-06-10 16:31:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-05-19 10:23:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks, now i need a tatoo. so does my cat.
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2004-05-19 10:09:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Jesus, why don't you stop pimping this fucking post...
Anyone who got tattooed post-1970's thinking they were being rebellious was/is clueless. I managed to get my whole body tattooed without going through any of your "stages." Go figure.
And in light of your words "I've also had more than "a few" tattoos done, so I think I am an authority on what's good and what's bad. Just like someone who has been skateboarding for 15 years can comment on how good or bad someone is who had been doing it for one year", I've got the authority to say this: Having tattoos doesn't mean you know jack-shit. You're not an authority on anything. Whatever books you've read aside. I hate to break it to you, but most "tattoo people" would consider your work second-rate, at best. Christ, the lettering looks like it was done by a retarded two year old.
Quit spouting off until you've collected some pieces from someone other than a no-name hack... Get some work by Ed Hardy, Scott Sylvia, Jeff Rassier, Jef Whitehead, Timothy Hoyer, Dan Higgs, Chris O'Donnell or one of countless others who put your shit to shame.
Submitted by SuzyQuezy (user info) at 2004-05-17 15:10:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/24437
here's the post you requested.
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-05-14 11:35:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no wonder you don't like me... you are a fucking dork. i'm sorry people like me beat you up all your life, maybe one day you'll find a girl who isn't a cumstained slut who will actually let you fuck her and then you'll get over it.
good luck with that, by the way...
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-04-09 15:26:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Love the backwork man.
It is good to see tats no longer being viewed as a social stigma.
Even if most of them are the Celtic/Tribal type.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-03-26 20:48:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
**I just like the contrast to the skin colour and how good black ink looks with shading.**
I agree with this. Thats one of the reasons I had mine done in black. I'm pretty fair-skinned and the black is a nice contrast.
Submitted by lawryde (user info) at 2004-03-26 16:26:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've never heard that colour fades faster than black and grey. I think actually it's the other way around. Laser removal, which is just the sun's effects times 1,000,000, is less effective on colours than it is on just black tattoos.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2004-03-26 10:40:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just like the contrast to the skin colour and how good black ink looks with shading.
I also heard that colours fade over the years and figured it would be easier to get them re-done if they were all one colour.
Submitted by lawryde (user info) at 2004-03-26 10:13:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's strange how some people will only get black and grey. My wife is like that. I like a bit of colour.
J. Vegas- Yes I am hot. No need to remind me
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2004-03-26 09:36:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with all of this. My first tattoo was a tribal image on my upper left arm, only got it as I wanted a tattoo and it was the first thing i liked on the flash cards in the studio. After that I wanted more, got six in total now. The last five are all my own designs, mostly animals made into celtic knotwork, which kind of works ok with the tribal swirl as its all earth culture. The last one is my favourite, its the Norwich City (English "soccer" team) canary in knotwork.
Don't like tattoo's with colour though (green monkeys not included).
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2004-03-26 09:11:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lawryde (user info) at 2004-03-26 08:50:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Dohnutz-
you need to take some history lessons sonny boy. If Lyle Tuttle wouldn't have started tattooing then non of us would have tattoos right now. It would still be reserved for sailors, bikers, and criminals. He brought tattooing to the masses while still keeping it cool. When you actually read some books on tattooing then we can talk.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Believe me, I know my tattoo history...and I probably outdate you by quite a few years, "sonny boy" aside.
Lyle Tuttle is an expert salesmen, no doubt about it. But his work...meh. My statement stands. You should have used an Ed Hardy quote.
Submitted by J.Vegas (user info) at 2004-03-26 09:00:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You're hot
Submitted by lawryde (user info) at 2004-03-26 08:55:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
DraconianKing-
Ok buddy, I'll see ya at the young Republican's meeting tomorrow so we can talk about all your other interesting view points on tattooing and life in general.
Submitted by lawryde (user info) at 2004-03-26 08:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dohnutz-
you need to take some history lessons sonny boy. If Lyle Tuttle wouldn't have started tattooing then non of us would have tattoos right now. It would still be reserved for sailors, bikers, and criminals. He brought tattooing to the masses while still keeping it cool. When you actually read some books on tattooing then we can talk.
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2004-03-26 08:36:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lyle Tuttle was and is a hack. You could have at least used an Ed Hardy quote.
http://www.msnusers.com/HerdofWookies/shoebox.msnw
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-03-26 08:19:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess I cheated. I combined stages 1 and 3 in my first and only (and *I* drew it bitches! Which could be why some people think it sucks but fuck them). Now I want to go back and make up stage two to cap off my shoulder and add some color.
Tattoos are awesome.
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-03-26 01:33:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The human body looks perfectly good without scarring yourself with things like this. Hell, I dont even try and some of the scars I've gotten over the years look like stuff. But yeah, there is no reason to get tattoos unless your religion/culture dictates so. Like those hawaiians and the like. And people get real sick from the way tattoos are done in those nearly tribal kinds of ways.
Submitted by coley <notloggedin> at 2004-03-26 00:00:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not going to feel bad about rating this without really reading it because I'm a randomcoley and my rating doesn't count.
But plus 1 for long winded rants and plus one for being from wisconsin.
you poor thing.
I was born in Wausau.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-03-25 23:48:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I want to see the green monkey.
Submitted by esso_merda (user info) at 2004-03-25 23:32:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
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Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-03-25 23:28:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
Tattoos are ugly and stupid.
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Why?
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-03-25 23:28:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Tattoos are ugly and stupid.
Submitted by lawryde (user info) at 2004-03-25 22:45:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm currently at $3400.00 and I've got about 4 more hours to go on my right sleeve.
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-03-25 21:47:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
how much $$ have you spent on your tattoos?
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-03-25 21:45:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you are completely right on so many levels. i made it through stage 2 EXACTLY as you said. no more for me though, i regret that huge-ass one on my back!
Also that euphoria feeling is the best high i've ever had
Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2004-03-25 20:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice tattoo. At least you admitted that hurt. That's more than most guys will say.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-03-25 20:35:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
interesting, informative
very pretty tatoo on your back
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-03-25 20:28:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're right, in that just slapping some Chinese characters or some 'tribal' nonsense isn't worth the trouble. If you're going to do it, make it worth the time.
I've got a couple, and I'm planning on another for my birthday. Each of them means something to me, and is not just some crap I picked out of a book.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-03-25 20:26:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome. thanks for proving me wrong, you're obviously better than your "faggy fag fag" insults on my post. you have some really sweet tattoos man. i'll rescind the neanderthal comment, but you really did come off as a blunt moron troll. you weren't projecting the knowledge and intrigue you showed here.
question: what is so incredibly horrendous about tribal? if it means something to me, just as yours do to you, and i'm not trying to use it as an item of cool, like you said "rolling you sleeve up" etc, i think it can be just as cool. maybe i'm not hardcore enough, like you, but i'm not trying to be. i'm being myself, and if that's not hardcore enough for you, then i really don't fucking care. mine suites me fine, i really don't care about others' judgements about me, whichever way they might be.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-03-25 20:10:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Stage six..
Call freebie for tattoo removal appointment
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-03-25 19:36:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep Tats rock.
I have got two both for significant personal reasons.
Will I get more............maybe.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-03-25 18:34:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd do ya...
...in the pooper!
Submitted by esso_merda (user info) at 2004-03-25 18:31:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I thought my back would be the worst tattoo pain ever, and yet when I got my left arm done, underneath the arm near the armpit...well that just fucking hurt. It really hurt.
Submitted by lawryde (user info) at 2004-03-25 18:15:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I forgot about the stomach. I've never experienced that. The green monkey was almost on my stomach, but not quite. Still, the spine is a biatch
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-03-25 18:10:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well written. Tattoos rock.
"Anyone who has been tattooed on their spine can attest to the fact that getting tattooed there hurts an unimaginable amount."
Wrong. My stomach hurt more. I didn't even feel the one on my back.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-03-25 18:10:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
6955, you are a bit cheeky calling yourself "the kid", you've got a full beard for Christ's sake.