Food and Sex an moving (462 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Wingfoot (View user info) at 2004-03-26 10:44:40 EST
I was sitting in the train the other day looking at a cute girl sitting in the bench across mine when the object of my interest got off the train
Not being able to mindlessly look at cute girls anymore, I started thinking. I had to do something or else the results might be something not at all pleasant.
Why do cute girls move so I can't look at them anymore
Because they're mean that's why, MUST KILL ALL CUTE GIRLS, and eat them, yeeeess definitely eat them
Wait, that's not the answer to my problem. In fact, the problem is that the problem isn't defined properly.
That sounded much better in my head before it came out
Let's rephrase that
Why do people move? It only takes energy -laziness is a form of art
Imagine this: Everyone in the world would be rooted to the same spot. And everyone near me would be a cute girl so I would have something to look at when I was bored and I could let my mind wander to pleasant thoughts.
But my voyueristic (is that a word?) urges aside it would be great. The only thing people could do would be watching TV or playing with their computer.
Only stupid people would watch TV all the time, because they wouldn't be able to grasp the intricacies involved with computers. Eventually they would go crazy from watching all the reruns and their heads would explode
Besides the fact that brainmatter makes a really interesting pattern on your wallpaper it would also benefit world-peace. No-one would need killing anymore because all stupid people are dead anyway. No more wars, woohoo.
It would be kinda hard to wage war anyway due to the fact that people wouldn't be able to move and such
These trifling details always show up in my masterplans. But they are not important
Besides the fact that at the first malfunction of a power-grid society would collapse and we'd all be reduced to eating the dust that gathers at the back of computers, the only real problem is evolutionary
In an evolutionary sense to only reason we exist is to procreate and to live long enough to be able to procreate.
In layman's terms: Food and Sex
And that's kind of hard to get without moving
When I woke up this morning there wasn't a naked woman holding a big platter of food standing next to my bed.
In fact, the only time that happened was on my 11th birthday when my mom decided to give me breakfast on bed and forgetting something in the process
I still wake up screaming sometimes
But that doesn't make me weird right?
Right....?
User Reviews
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-03-26 17:30:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
So many bad posts lately. Keep up the good work, they make mine look better.
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-03-26 13:44:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Random. Yet....
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-03-26 11:48:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You need to lay off the drugs.
Submitted by lawryde (user info) at 2004-03-26 11:15:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wha?
Submitted by Denis_Leary (user info) at 2004-03-26 11:02:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus two because I didn't log in the first time. Happy now?
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-03-26 11:00:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Judas on crack you stank it up with that one.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-03-26 10:50:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This was so goofy, that I was entertained. Your mind works like mine sometimes.