The Devil and The Altar Boy (385 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by adrian (View user info) at 2004-03-27 00:54:19 EST
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
"WHAT? The summoning failed again?"
"I'm sorry sir, but we'll keep trying. The instructions are old and tattered, and we need to make half the stuff up as we go."
"I'm tired of your stupid excuses John. You have three days, and I expect it summoned by then."
"But sir..."
"Should I make it four?"
"No, please sir, I'll be good."
Cursing under his breath, and hoping the divine will didn't hear him, John slinked back into the realms of paradise. Three days was not a lot of time considering what he had to work with. That was the problem with being dead; you were forever doing work for the higher powers, with not even the thought of money to keep yourself going. Nonetheless, the rewards for the summoning were supposed to be great, so maybe his wish of finally becoming a pony would come true.
2 and a half days later
"Its been done, what you wanted summoned is summoned"
"Excellent work John. Now, about your reward"
John closed his eyes with anticipation. Was this it?
Ka-flash
"Here is that pony you wanted"
And in another flash of light, he was gone, leaving John to stare at the pony he so desperately wanted to be.
"But I wanted to be a pony, not have a pony... Did he do that on purpose?"
Meanwhile
"Ah, I see, John did excellent work resurrecting you my lord."
"It wasn't soon enough, is the rest of the plan ready?"
"Everything is as it needs to be for you"
"Excellent," the resurrected altar boy said. "You have done well, soon the dowager empress of Tasmania shall have grape jam smeared on him."
"He'll never see it coming, I do not understand the plan, but you are great, o Lord..."
"Don't finish that sentence, if my name is spoken it will bring undue hardship."
"Even in the form you have been forced to take?"
"Fool! I chose this form to avoid attracting attention, I am the devil."
"Didn't you just say you didn't want your name mentioned?"
"Shut up you insolent swine."
3 days later
"Whoa, I never would've thought the devil turned out to be a regular altar boy."
"Or that John turned out to be the devil."
"At least the dowager empress of Tasmania got what was coming to him."
"Even if it was apricot jam and not grape jam."
"Maybe that's what messed up the aardvark's plan."
"At least it's all over now, and I got +10 health from it."
"Lucky, I just got a chipped silver ring."
And everything was back to normal.
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Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-10-29 09:58:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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