Known In Passing (677 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.91 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <deisangua.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-27 12:26:23 EST
Fake it for me.
I like you at first, when you're at the top of your game. Trying to put your best foot forward, trying to impress and startle and amaze. Sure, you are not much better than anyone else. You're human, you're not perfect, you make mistakes. Inside you are nothing exceptional, and a smart gambler would put money on the odds that you are not actually worth knowing. If I saw that about you, I would probably hate you for pretending otherwise.
Well, I do hate you for it sometimes. Or despise you, at least. But only well after I've met you, hung out with you, and only if I stayed so long that I discovered who you really are. I only hate the facades when I am out of sight and quietly watching people do the things they do, when I notice them revealing themselves. I hate seeing you be a giver (but then only serving yourself), seeing you be a badass (but then revealing the fragile nature of your cracked confidence), when you are a super bitch (but "honest to God, I'm usually a sweetheart" - actually, you're not either one; you're just a fake).
So when you're facing me, I like it that you try so hard. The smile, or the kindness, or the personality or bravado or ego or your mastery of witty insults...whatever you pretend you have. I like it when you act as though you are more than the average human being in some way. I won't be sticking around long enough to see otherwise, because that leads to disappointment most of the time, doesn't it?
You should smile at your success, though. Yes, you are like everything else in life: worth that momentary first experience and little more, but I have no problems taking the best you have to offer. It is an offer, you know...you sell yourself like a prostitute sells her body. So I'll buy. I was born in a capitalist country, you know, and I'll be gone well before the stock starts falling downwards anyways. It's just a mutual dream, a play whose first act may be as good as the final, but anything in between is usually not worth my ten dollars.
You make the effort, and I am your best audience. I appreciate the effort you put into the false you. I want to make that effort worth it because it is the one moment in time I am sure you are actually trying, the one moment you do become more than you are. It is ironic that you are the most best you can be when you are pretending to be better than you are. So I'll play along, too, encouraing that irony and forgetting the truth as easily as you forget to be yourself. I'll be damned if this fantasy is going to be one-sided.
I'll tell you that You're Cool. I'll note that you're Pretty or Good Looking. I'd point it out if you did something Remarkable, or laugh at your Jokes and Antics, or smile at your Charming Friendliness. I'll argue or snap and let you have fun being The Unstoppable Foe, or give you a reason to be The Completely Untouchable Bitch. I'm not lying; I really do enjoy all those things you do. You need to feel good or superior? I might give you the chance, if I am so inclined. After all, I can't really be affected much by an illusion.
The fun part is that I don't have to remember that you are an illusion. I can have my suspension of belief, the same thing I use when seeing a movie, or watching a magician do tricks. Once you stopped trying the falsehood will crumble, but I can disregard the truth for a time...and it's just for a little while anyways.
I am entertained, and you feel rewarded. It is the perfect relationship between two people, and not just lovers or friends or acquaintances. When I'm gone it'll be okay, because it's not like you gave a shit about me to begin with. It was always about you.
I won't see you tomorrow. And you probably won't miss me. But knowing one another was only a one-night stand, anyways.
User Reviews
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-04-09 04:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmmmm.....
If I didn't understand this so well, I might think it was written by someone with a personality disorder.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-08 09:48:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a new addition to my favorite authors list
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-03-30 09:02:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
AlwaysAnEagle - Yes, it was your post that sent me this direction.
Isaac - Thanks for the correction. Really, because I don't think I would have caught it like other mistakes. It just sounded right in my head.
Loki - Nah, my weekend was fine. AlwaysAnEagle's post just reminded me of the vast majority of people I've known, and so...
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-03-29 15:51:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-03-29 15:37:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-03-29 14:50:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
rough weekend?
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-03-29 11:20:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
damn
Submitted by deano (user info) at 2004-03-29 09:59:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
this I liked
Submitted by isaac (user info) at 2004-03-27 22:34:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice. Suspension of disbelief, though.
-Isaac
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-03-27 17:08:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry m'am.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-03-27 13:43:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Feels similar to my post this morning. Goodness, reality can be a bitch.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-03-27 13:16:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I'm sorry that last night wasn't good enough for you, Mr. I'm-the-pitcher-you're-the-catcher!
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-03-27 12:54:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment