God, work sucks (675 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -1.66 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by shane mcpherson (View user info) at 2004-03-28 19:29:44 EST
I used to like work because there was this girl there who dripped of burning hot lust whenever she came into the room. You'd see her walk across the kitchen with a trey on her hand and her g-string would peek over the edge of her skintight old navy khakis. God help me.
Now that she's gone, there's nothing but three thirteen year old girls who stand by the trash can and fling pieces of chicken off the bussed plates like they're in some sort of narrow minded trance. Either that or they're stuck in plain old thirteen year old minds. You tell me.
Brian, who doesn't know his head from his ass, has a record for days in a row he's slipped in the cold storage - 23. The other day I tossed Brian a silverware bucket and yelled "heads up!" It smacked him square in the forehead and he chuckled. He's been hit like that four times now.
Brian is every moronic coworker I've known in my life. He has these squinty eyes and his face looks like someone took their hands and molded his cheeks into his mouth. He's the guy who shoves his face into everyone's conversations and always has some racist joke to tell.
No one wants to work with him and we have to draw straws. I always seem to get the short straw, I swear those guys are conspiring against me, the bastards. So many nights I've had to unload with Brian as my comrade, and listen to things like "dude have you ever fucked a girl in the ass?" "dude I once landed a triple backflip on my snowboard." "dude I reached 150 in my honda accord last night."
Whenever a push comes in, and we have to unload fifty bustubs, Brian's no where to be found. I figure he's sucking on cheese sticks or making his move on the thirteen year old bussgirls. Dipshit.
The other day Brian got in a fight. It was a hothose battle at first, then Brian got sprayed in the eye and punched the guy in the jaw, then he got punched back in his jaw, and before you knew it they were on the floor.
But it's okay, they got a warning.
Last Friday I had to work while all my friends went bowling and rented a porno. I'm on the schedule for next Friday too. With Brian. And there's no hope of getting it off. I swear one of these days im going to give that kid a wedgie so hard he bleeds out his mouth.
I wish that girl would come back for at least a day.
Does anyone else have to work with a moron?
User Reviews
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-03-28 21:07:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Prediction:
Brian will eventually become your boss and you will still be a wingeing wanker.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-03-28 20:39:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Welcome to life, my friend.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-03-28 20:00:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If reading your post counts as work, then yes, I work with a moron.