Why healthy 19yr olds should not take viagra (1929 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.29 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <magoo_ad.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-28 22:56:43 EST
It was the summer of 99, I had just graduated from AIT (Advanced Individual Training) at Redstone Arsenal in Alabama, I then transfered to Eglin Air Force Base for EOD (Explosive Ordnance Disposal)
I had at this point in time spent about half a year in the Army, and was still only a youngin at 19... Hahah you might say... So you're the dumbass that took the viagra, well you'd be wrong, the dumbass that took the viagra was my friend that had been in training with me since basic training.
Let's call this genius Mark.
Mark and I had a mutual friend in florida with us, he was older than us, I think around 22 or so. His name was Jensen. Jensen was pretty cool, bought us alcohol... that kind of thing, but he was kinda weird too. He was constantly ordering pills and supplements off of the internet. Creatine, penile enlargers... these type of things. I don't think he bought all that crap because he acually believed in it, I think it was more for comedic value than anything.
Well one day Jensen gets an order of viagra in. On the weekend of this day, Mark's girlfriend was driving from Missouri to Florida to visit him. Now remember, Mark had been in training for about six months now, and hadn't seen his girlfriend this whole time. The closest thing he got to intimacy was trying to rub one off in the public bathroom of the barracks.
Mark is really looking forward to seeing his girlfriend, and even more so to doing her. Now you can see where this is going I hope? He talks Jensen into giving him one of the pills of viagra, so he could as he put it.. "Beat her guts all weekend long."
Mark not being a total dumbass decides to err on the side of caution and takes only half the pill a few hours before his girlfriend is due to arrive. She showed up and that was the last that I saw of him for that weekend.
Monday morning rolls around, and I'm standing in PT (physical training) formation and Mark comes running up at the last second jumps into formation next to me. He shoots me one of those, "Boy do I have a story to tell you" looks. After the run and pushups and situps and all the other "fun" stuff, we're walking down to the dining facility and he tells me this story.
A few hours after he took the half pill he met up with his woman. As soon as he hugged her he had an insta-boner. They quickly check into the hotel room and make to shagging like rabbits. He goes once, twice, thrice...and again. After the fourth time the strong like bull erection was still there and wasn't even close to begining to subside. In fact it was getting harder and harder. An hour after their last session it was becoming painful. In his words "It was like when you leave a hotdog on a grill, you can see it swelling and swelling, just anticipating it to burst. He had his girlfriend get a bucket of ice, which he promptly thrust his wang in to no avail. This went on for another six hours before the monster in his pants finally died.
They didn't have sex for the rest of the weekend because he was so sore afterwards. He also reported that during the extent of the effects his vision was tinted kind of a light blue shade, not really humorus, just weird.
I don't think I have laughed so hard in my life. Mark and I both got transfered to Germany in the same unit. Where he continued to carry on his antics, viagraless.
So in short, if it works.. don't fuck with it.
User Reviews
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-03-31 00:08:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by bravo_foxtrot (user info) at 2004-03-29 21:31:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha Loki, using quotation marks to symbolize the fact that you think it was acually my dumbass that took the viagra. Trust me, I've done some stupid things, but that wasn't me. This is the same friend who passed out on the train ride home from Oktoberfest, and woke up 7 hours past the stop he should have gotten off at. Of course if we would have woke him up when the rest of us got off he would have been fine..... huh....
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-03-29 15:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
all I can think to say is...why why why what in the hell was "your friend" thinking?
Submitted by ubermensch (user info) at 2004-03-29 14:57:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny story. I'm glad it didn't get as gross as others I've heard where dumbasses will take a combination of extascy and viagra. Those stories usually involve the ER.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-03-29 14:44:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I thought viagra gave your vision a yellow tinge...
what?
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-03-29 13:29:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
And my girlfriend says I need Viagra ... ha!
Submitted by Ymeister19 (user info) at 2004-03-29 11:50:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny shit. Ive got a friend who said he took viagra and it made his dick as big as a house. Personally the way i see it if it aint broke dont fix it.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-03-29 07:10:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know somebody who did this. He was closer to 40, but didn't need the viagra. The only words he could used to describe it was "Fucking Relentless." Apparently this stuff isn't for recreational use.
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-03-29 06:54:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-03-29 02:02:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ow
Submitted by bravo_foxtrot (user info) at 2004-03-29 00:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Guess you had to be there Hair...
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-03-28 23:40:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Stupid grunt
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-03-28 23:20:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
heh.. poor guy
Submitted by Supremebeing (user info) at 2004-03-28 23:20:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ROFLMAO I KNOW WHY THAT HAPPENED!!
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-03-28 23:14:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This wasn't all that funny, really.
Sorry.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-03-28 23:14:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The most I've ever had sex was 5 times in a row, without Viagra. On the 6th time, I went limp inside the girl. Quite embarrassing.
Submitted by Jocko_Johnson (user info) at 2004-03-28 23:06:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh...
die.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-03-28 23:03:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh lord, ow.
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2004-03-28 23:02:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I know a girl who has taken a little bit of that shit before. She said it was the best thing ever.
I dont know. Maybe she's really a dude with a small dick.