These Women Are Not Sex Objects, You Bandwagon-Riding, Blind Bastards. (916 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.64 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DyerBm (View user info) at 2004-03-30 11:37:40 EST
*Note* Some viewers might feel inclined to argue this post with me, this would be useless for two reasons: (a) I don't care about what you think, and (b) You can't prove you theory because you are wrong. This post is not debatable. These are facts of life. Laws of God (if you believe in him/her/whatever), do not fuck with them.
Having said that, lets move onto our first target, Penelope Cruz. Penelope looks like splinter from the teenage mutant ninja turtles. Actually, fuck that, splinter doesn't deserve that kind of shame. She looks like a sexy rat with a fucking huge ugly nose, and suffering from down syndrome. Picture the worst shit you ever took because she looks just the same but worse, she looks like she got ran over twice. The bitch is nasty. WHAT...THE...FUCK??? Anyone saying that she is attractive must be a simple, materialistic, fucking waste of space. She is far too over rated. Here's why: Because the bitch is nasty. This is an undisputable fact of life. I guarantee that before her debut, if you saw her at a bar with a friend, you would have been looking for your wingman and looking hard. Of course your wingman would be the one taking Penelope so you wouldn't have to. I mean really, who wants to say they fucked a rat with down syndrome?
Who's next? Oh yes, Tara reid. Alright, I'll admit that in "American Pie" and "Urban Legends" she looked decent. That was before becoming anorexic and finding it hard to decipher the difference between herself and Somalian(Sp?) child with a fly nest in it's belly. I don't understand what the fucking obsession with this bitch is. Ever since "Van Wilder" and up to recent movies like "The Bosses Daughter", she has represented all of the self-esteem lacking, anorexic women of the mighty US. Women are supposed to have curves. They are not supposed to look like men with a chest that looks as if it had recently been bitten by mosquitoes. If I had to pick a cartoon character that best resembled Tara it would most definitely have to be Skeletor. You know, the evil dude from He-Man.
Next vision of truth: Jennifer Garners forehead is as massive as the Titanic. Which brings forth the obvious, she is ugly. How did this poor acting, inflated-melon having whore get into Hollywood? I'm going to take a guess at it and go with...Blowjobs and free sex. I could be completely off the mark on this one, but have you ever seen her in a swim suit? Have you ever seen her backside while she is standing? I haven't. And I can only conclude from knowing that her forehead is so big in combination with the elusive back thing, that in fact, she has weights of some sort strapped to her back to keep her from tipping over due to head weight. Another question that just sparked in my mind; could Christina Ricci and Jennifer Garner be related? Both have huge foreheads, both bad actors, both slutty. Hmmmmm...
Last, but most certainly not least: Janet Jackson. Need I say More? There are far too many fine ass women out there to be paying attention to these nasty hoes. People don't talk about their STD's or the fine details of their beer shits and vomit from last night in public, so next time you feel inclined to blurt out how hot these girls are, consider keeping that shit to yourself. It's just rude.
User Reviews
Submitted by dyerbm (user info) at 2004-03-31 13:10:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What in the fuck after reading this post would make you think I want to meet, plan to meet or give a shit enough about to even hope meeting those bitches?
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2004-03-30 19:42:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Someone else starting a spat w/ Loren...what is it about you, Loren?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, friend.
Maybe next time you could find a more coherent way to put this, as I think that's really your CORE message, right? I hope so, for your sake. Because griping about how other people find women attractive that you don't find attractive is right down there complaining to the teacher about your friend calling you a poopyhead. It's immature and completely pointless. We all have different ideas of what's "beautiful" and what's not, and as such you should respect it. And you DEFINATELY should not be spending your time groping abot women you've never met, never will meet, and could never even HOPE to meet.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-03-30 19:24:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't find any of these women more than moderatly attractive, but all of them are far from "ugly" looking.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-03-30 15:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Tara Reid is one of those elite hotties. Seriously, man. Seriously.
Submitted by Supremebeing (user info) at 2004-03-30 13:42:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Penelope Cruz, Tara Reid, Jennifer Garners, and Janet Jackson, are ALL MAJOR HOTTIES!
There I said it! How do you like me know moron?? Muhahahahahahaha
Submitted by Papajoe (user info) at 2004-03-30 13:41:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, great way to take a good point, and cover it in so much shit and ruin it.
It must be hard to suck so much.
Submitted by Coffeeisgood (user info) at 2004-03-30 13:19:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
When you look in the mirror do you see a horse's ass?
Submitted by dyerbm (user info) at 2004-03-30 13:10:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy shit, bring them on Loren1 because I mold my opinion of myself off this web sites RATINGS. -2 Woo Hoo!
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-03-30 13:07:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"*Note* Some viewers might feel inclined to argue this post with me, this would be useless for two reasons: (a) I don't care about what you think, and (b) You can't prove you theory because you are wrong. This post is not debatable. These are facts of life. Laws of God (if you believe in him/her/whatever), do not fuck with them."
Looks like somebody needs a nap. I stopped reading after the introductory paragraph, by the way. My spider-sense was tingling like crazy, which means only one thing: you're an idiot.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-03-30 13:06:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I felt compelled to give this just one more -2.
Submitted by massamune777 (user info) at 2004-03-30 13:06:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You said a fuckload of true shit my friend. Keep up the good work.
Submitted by speeddaimon (user info) at 2004-03-30 13:03:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I think next time you should try not marinating your post in shit before putting it on the site. It might help.
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-03-30 13:02:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this is why public libraries should ban Homeless people from using the internet........get out of my book section and get a fucking job you ammonia smelling tick bag
Submitted by dyerbm (user info) at 2004-03-30 13:01:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Does the post suck, yes. Unfortunately I've become addicted to Über and I felt compelled to submit something. Damn, I've got to stop letting my impulsiveness get to me. Oh well -2
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-30 12:56:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I dont think those chicks are hot either, but this post sucked the fattest of fat cocks. Namely, mine.
Submitted by bravo_foxtrot (user info) at 2004-03-30 12:17:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's possible...
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2004-03-30 12:03:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't think it was physically possible, but this post both sucks AND blows.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-03-30 11:58:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You've got to be queer as a 3 dollar bill
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2004-03-30 11:55:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I agree that all these women are over-rated, but so is this post (and it's only gotten one review).
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-03-30 11:53:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What is "down syndrome" exactly? Is it an affliction that causes you to cough up soft, downy white duck feathers? Yeah... that sounds like it might be right.
Retard.
And talk about "materialistic" - you've got materialism down to a science.