French terror alert level raised (994 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.14 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Peter Bleeker <P.Bleeker.at.zonnet.nl> (View user info) at 2004-03-31 02:20:08 EST
Reuters News Agency; Date: 03/19/2004 7:47:17 AM Pacific Standard Time
Sent from the Internet
API and UPI report that the French Government announced today that in light
of the Madrid bombing, France has raised it's terror alert level from "run"
to "hide." The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate".
User Reviews
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-04-29 22:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by only_slightly_bitter (user info) at 2004-04-06 06:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Americans make my blood boil. The only reason they should not all be shot is because of
the fine and noble work they have done in Iraq. Oh wait...
Oh, and your president is an international laughing stock. He would look far better with
one of those little hats with bells on that jesters wear. Actually that's unfair, everyone
looks better with a jester hat, they kick arse. Hmm. Anyway...
Submitted by Frank Francis <yorktownh.at.vebeenforgott.en> at 2004-04-06 06:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I definitely can't understand how about 550 000 dead people can make a joke, spoiled brat ...
http://groups.google.fr/groups?q=g:thl2269131626d&dq=&hl=fr&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&selm=406f1df2.41903218%40news.free.fr&rnum=36
http://groups.google.fr/groups?q=g:thl2904693318d&dq=&hl=fr&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&selm=406fd98b.1881234%40news.free.fr&rnum=30
HAND
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-03 00:42:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty funny.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-04-03 00:32:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Brilliant.
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2004-04-01 03:08:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The reason why some jokes are jokes while other merely insipid attempts at insult lies in the perception of common national character. While I don't personaly believe that there factually is any such thing as "national character", there are some features common to groups of people in the perception of those around them. Oftentimes these perceptions have a basis in observable fact, viz: the french did suffer ignominious defeat at the hands of the germans, they were humiliated, deprived of independence & nevertheless they did proceed to collaborate with their new masters en masse.
These are facts of history, and this is why simple & inaccurate japes the like of "cheese eating french surender monkeys" are funny. Because of the context.
Ditto for russians who are viewed as drunkards, Germans who are often seen as totalitarian minded robots, Italians who are of percieved as noisy & anarchistic, Spaniards who are seen to be cruel to animals and Jews who for ages have been seen as money hungry, grasping christ killers.
Not to belabour the point, culo, but you're becoming a walking, talking stereotype. Still not french, though. the french whould have capitulated long ago & gone on to lick the boots of their captors, while you're still trying to fight the avalanche with a snow shoe in one hand and a hockey stick in the other, eh?
Submitted by Five_dollar_artist (user info) at 2004-04-01 02:21:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Regardless of whether or not this is original, pertenent, or accurate, it is indeed funny. It would be funny when applied to any group of people, regardless of race, creed, or religion.
Submitted by MrB (user info) at 2004-04-01 02:09:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Caulaincourt, you bring a whole new meaning to the word "stupid".
Well done.
Submitted by bart_ (user info) at 2004-03-31 17:57:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
french bashers = outdated
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-03-31 17:56:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this is fuckin' shit !
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-03-31 17:53:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
im just throwing -2's around for free
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-31 17:48:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
MrB...
"but only after we invested in liberating and proespecting the people of those countries"
Nice liberation you got there. As for you humor, it was not funny. Not. I'm not alone to have find it pretty fuckin' dumb here. Scroll down. Look I'll make a joke of your level: "Americans are fat hhihiihii" or better yet "Arabs wear towels on their heads hohoohoho"
Yidele...
You kike, you make me wish the Holocaust would've succeed better (<- how do you like my "sense of humor") You just can't read :
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-31 07:33:20 (#)
Ranking: -2
you can kiss my french-CANADIAN ass
-------
MrB JUST COULDN'T ACCEPT THAT HIS POST WAS PURE BOREDOM SO HE BLAMED OUR LACK OF HUMOR FOR THE -2s. PERIOD.
Submitted by MrB (user info) at 2004-03-31 16:29:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Sorry for the double -2, I know I hurt your cyberdependant feelings. Here's another.
Awww, poor lil' ol' me...now you've made me lay awake for a coupleof hours this night...
"Now I see why you're into anti-french rhetoric. You Ducth think that by agreeing with every word americans say, their president will one day mention you on national TV and you'll finally get out of your everlasting insgnificance...for a moment. "
If this is what you refer to as a "joke", you have even less of a sense of humor then i'd figured you had. Anyways...yes, the dutch are insignificant....globally speaking....i do not eny this. Other then the fact we're one of the richest counties on this planet, and invested most of our pension and inisurance mony abroad...making us own quite a large sum of shares of multinationals..and beeing the port of europe...yes, we make no difference politicly speaking whatsoever. However, different from the french...we didn't have any oil contract laying around with a dictator...and we did support liberating the people of iraq and afghanistan...wierd huh? Wierd we didn't have any economical agenda laying around? Sure we do benefit of it on the long run...but only after we invested in liberating and proespecting the people of those countried...we have troops there...and so we have legitimate claims to contracts with that country in the future...other then france..and russie for that fact....
"And I can laugh at myself when the jokes are funny and make sense. French aren't cowards, if you ever open an history book an read more than two pages. It's like saying "Chineese people all have blonde hair ahhuahauhaarrrrhahaahar". Not funny, just dumb"
I suggest you open your history books...the dutch have quite a history, just like the french...that does not mean you can not make fun of current political issues. The fact you cannot see the humor of it, does not mean it is not humor....it's just your lack of ability of recognising it. You, my der candadian-frenchman...is what i like to refer to as a "dumb twat". I hope you get around to develop yourself one day into something more interesting then you are right now.
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2004-03-31 15:45:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's right - I'm not the brightest. I didn't even know I was "of a kind". I'm still more than bright enough to spot that wanna-bee french pout yer sporting. You are not french. This is actually a compliment, just as me saying: "you are not a cowardly, traitorous, cheese sniffing, anglophobic, antisemitic, worthles excuse for a donkey feltcher" would be, were I to say it. I'm not saying it. You may yet prove to be one of those things.
Submitted by Jocko_Johnson (user info) at 2004-03-31 13:56:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
if you want to something really offensive,
http://www.ubersite.com/m/28887
I've done some rude shit in my time, but this guy or girl, h-she takes the cake and fucks it hard.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-31 13:49:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yidele, I made a "joke" about the Dutch just as he did about the French. I'm being fair.
And from what I recall you're Polish but you still agressivly defend the Jews.
Just as I will defend my French ancestors when ignorant stereotypes are tossed at them.
You're obviously not the brightest of your kind.
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2004-03-31 13:42:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"you dutch think..." is precious from someone complaining about being stereotyped....the funny thing, culo, is that you're not even french, eh?
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-03-31 13:20:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking hysterical.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-31 13:17:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry for the double -2, I know I hurt your cyberdependant feelings. Here's another.
Now I see why you're into anti-french rhetoric. You Ducth think that by agreeing with every word americans say, their president will one day mention you on national TV and you'll finally get out of your everlasting insgnificance...for a moment.
And I can laugh at myself when the jokes are funny and make sense. French aren't cowards, if you ever open an history book an read more than two pages. It's like saying "Chineese people all have blonde hair ahhuahauhaarrrrhahaahar". Not funny, just dumb.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-03-31 11:48:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so fucking true...(weeps)
Submitted by MrB (user info) at 2004-03-31 11:38:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
First off froggy...err....pardon me....Caulaincourt....(yes, dots are our friends!), tnx for the double -2...i can see you don't appreciate humor when it's directed towards you...that's your loss, because theoreticly you could never laugh about humor that would make fun of other people in what form whatsoever. So basicly you've lost your right to laugh about what...70-80% of all jokes?
Anyways...concerning your link....i'm not american, i'm dutch. Feel free to make jokes about the dutch though, because I (unlike yourself) do not have the national flag stuck up my arse so deep that it hurts when i laugh.
Hmmmmm...k?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-31 09:45:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey MrB, I'd like to have some sense of humor but any american-bashing is enough to make you guys go to war. Here's an example of your sense of humor: http://www.ubersite.com/m/24933
Submitted by daggotht (user info) at 2004-03-31 09:41:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
crap
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-03-31 09:38:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Any French-bashing humor is always welcomed by me.
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2004-03-31 09:21:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
made me smile.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-03-31 09:07:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahah.
i haven't seen that before.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-03-31 08:48:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This isnt great but its not bad either
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-03-31 07:33:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you can kiss my french-canadian ass
Submitted by stevo (user info) at 2004-03-31 05:38:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
All this French hating is soooo fucking tired.
Just for your information, French people don't like Americans either.
Submitted by MrB (user info) at 2004-03-31 05:35:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"The French are a bunch of stinking, no-good, rude, ignorant cowards with absolutely NO self respect and they deserve everything they get."
Hillarious!
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-03-31 04:07:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Stand by. Soon we will see French Toast!
Submitted by deano (user info) at 2004-03-31 03:21:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
-2 for Plagiarism
+1 for the humour, still makes me laugh
This is old.
Koolmang, go fuck yourself. My family are all French(although I am very English - born and bred). The French are a bunch of stinking, no-good, rude, ignorant cowards with absolutely NO self respect and they deserve everything they get.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-03-31 02:59:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-03-31 02:47:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-03-31 02:47:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ubermensh is a fag, i fucked his dad in the asshole of love and respect
Submitted by captain (user info) at 2004-03-31 02:45:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahah, fuckin brilliant.
Definition of the French flag, a white cross on a white background.
Submitted by MrB (user info) at 2004-03-31 02:45:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sure there are french people with a sense of humor.....out there......somewhere.....
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-03-31 02:45:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed i cried... and then i kicked Shitfuck and KoolMang in the metaphorical nutsack. Go 69 each other.
Submitted by ubermensch (user info) at 2004-03-31 02:35:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I got an idea!
why don't Koolmang and shitfuck STFU. your reviews are all the same.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-03-31 02:23:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ok, that's great...
now hurry up and DIE!
just FUCKING DIE ok?
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk?
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DI EID EID EIDD IEDI EDI EID EI DI D
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-03-31 02:23:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Leave the French the fuck alone. Just because they didn't want to go to war in Iraq. What about those protestors in the world who protested this war? Are THEY cowards? I'm sick of hearing the French being called cowards.