I would've done better if I had forfeited (907 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.14 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by adrian (View user info) at 2004-03-31 02:59:00 EST
Yes, I am the one who wrote post 2 in the post "the devil and the altar boy". I figure that either the voting would be closed now or any votes submitted beyond this point wouldn't make that much of a difference, so I thought I'd confess before I get found out anyway.
Now, I'm sure the main question you would be asking me is "What the hell were you thinking?" (or possibly "Why did you write such a shitheap of a post", depending on your randomness tolerance). The answer to that is simple, I'm a fairly shitty one-shot writer, and the title completely stumped me. But, rather than forfeit, I decided to go with the only other option I had. Mind-fuck.
I can write mind-fuck decently well. Start off with the original premise (in this case the altar boy summoning the demon intentionally under the control of someone else) and then fuck it up to the point where you yourself don't understand it (in this case by just messing around with who was what, including the whole dowager empress of Tasmania thing, more on that later). I liked the result, and thought I'd done alright considering how much I hated the title (no offence to the guy who came up with it, but it was definately too rigid for my tastes). I was happy.
Then I was unable to get on Übersite for a few days afterwards. I come back, and find the title on the most heated list. I tingle with anticipation. Then I read the first post and realise how much others would've thought mine sucked ass cock by comparison. Undaunted, I voted for post 2, and then I saw the reviews.
I quote "#2 was just boring, incoherent, uninteresting, sloppy, and random." That was the worst review I had at the time, and I considered random a compliment. The good thing is for the most part it seemed to have the intended "what the fuck?" reaction, which is what I was going for mostly. The score was about 73-5 against me or something outrageous like that (once I read a couple of the other entries, I realised that even the forfeits were scoring higher than me. This is still the case, hence the title). I do not know what to say about this.
And yet, if I had to do the same topic again, the only thing I would change is that I would make it clear that the dowager empress of Tasmania was male. Personally, that is the only thing I didn't like about my entry.
Kudos to the writer of post #1, you deserve your victory, and good luck for your next rounds (though I'm sure with writing talent like that you won't need it)
User Reviews
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-04-04 19:04:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Eh, it's alright. But you need to relax. Take a hot shower or swallow some pills.
BTW, I'm not a proper user, but one day. Until then, visit my website and spend money.
Malone
Lucifer Industries LLC
http://www.luciferindustries.com
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-03-31 10:37:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
adrian,
This post made me burst out laughing. It's hilarious. If you had posted something like this, you would have kicked my ass. "tingled with anticipation" hahahahaha "sucked ass cock?" hahahaha. Funny shit.
Much love,
Loren
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2004-03-31 10:09:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
B to the izzo R to the izzing!
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-03-31 07:02:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your ass got pwned. I'm glad I didn't have to compete against that cat.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-03-31 03:22:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bart: I'll take up smoking and give that up.
Homer: Good for you, son. Giving up smoking is one of the hardest
things you'll ever have to do. Have a dollar.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-03-31 03:17:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
At least you didn't lose to a forfeit entry.
Submitted by Despiadado (user info) at 2004-03-31 03:01:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Coherence is over-rated.