Cockblocking 101 (1316 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.07 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by blingshizzle (View user info) at 2004-03-31 12:04:35 EST
So let me recant my latest encounter with the craziest bitch out there -- my ex girlfriend. We've been broken up now for about 2 months which, keep in mind, was mostly her doing.
I was awoken at 6am Monday by my cell phone blowing up, sure enough it's . The phone call wasn't begun with the typical greeting, but by a blood curdling screech, "So who's this new girl that you're fucking?" She's referring to my boss at work, who I started seeing a couple weeks earlier. Which touches on my first point, which is never ever hookup with your boss, it creates many awkward situations in the working environment. Like when she bends over and I slap her on the ass in front of 10 people who have no idea what's going on.
Anyway, the phone call continues with her crying and saying how could I do this to her. It seems that miraculously, despite her repeated rejections of and refusal to see me over the last 2 months, she has fallen deeply in love with me again, and I've just been missing the signs. So I wrap up the therapy session, telling her she should have known this would happen, etc.
Flash ahead to about 3pm, Im sitting at work and guess who shows up. Not only shows up but makes a huge production with flowers and cookies and a stuffed animal, to say how proud she is that I'm being promoted. This all occurs in front of about 5 of my co-workers and my boss friend, who must be thinking to herself, "who the fuck is that?" So I sheepishly accept this stuff and just slink into my chair. You have to understand that this girl is full of ulterior motives, and I know she did this just to fuck with my situation. So to smooth things over with the boss Im going to take her to dinner this week, and then hopefully video tape her getting railed in a variety of positions so I can send that shit to my ex. How ya love that
User Reviews
Submitted by blingshizzle (user info) at 2004-04-01 09:56:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The bitch did cockblock me though. She really fucked up my situation with this other girl. As in, I was banging her before, but now it's kind of a sketchy situation between us, because she thinks that my ex and I are still together. My cock is blocked from the boss's pussy.
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2004-04-01 01:10:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lots of people have that problem. Good post.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-03-31 21:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-03-31 14:49:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds exactly like my first girlfriend. She dumped me, and then got pissed when I was actually happy about it instead of sad. Over the next 6 months, she tried to get back with me, which included sayings like "If there's no way possible, I'm going to just kill myself".
I felt kinda bad for telling her that I may attend her funeral, if I'm not too busy picking up bitches.
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AHAHAHAHAHAHA PRICELESS!
Submitted by DlESEL (user info) at 2004-03-31 20:50:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
She didnt cockblock you, your title is shit.
Story was funny though
Submitted by fingerbang (user info) at 2004-03-31 20:06:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck all the hos, thats why you never get attached, just randomly pick up girls and have sex with them and maybe keep their number for bootycalls later. Me, I tell myself this but I always end up getting attached. I, folks, am a tool
Submitted by cheruboo (user info) at 2004-03-31 17:11:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
getting railed...hehe!
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-03-31 14:49:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds exactly like my first girlfriend. She dumped me, and then got pissed when I was actually happy about it instead of sad. Over the next 6 months, she tried to get back with me, which included sayings like "If there's no way possible, I'm going to just kill myself".
I felt kinda bad for telling her that I may attend her funeral, if I'm not too busy picking up bitches.
Submitted by markthyme (user info) at 2004-03-31 13:41:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am certain there is a thing like soulmates, and there is fate.... a lot of ladies reap what they sow.
Submitted by blingshizzle (user info) at 2004-03-31 13:09:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have many more examples of this girl and her craziness. Like the time I caught her in bed with another dude, and to save face she told her parents and all our mutual friends that i beat her up. Luckily the cops new she was a loon.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-31 12:29:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Like when she bends over and I slap her on the ass in front of 10 people who have no idea what's going on
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Now thats what im talking about!
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-03-31 12:25:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
datin the boss good for you.
oh yea, and ALL women are crazy bitches!
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-03-31 12:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yes, i'd like a copy too
Submitted by Hader (user info) at 2004-03-31 12:18:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-03-31 12:12:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
send me the tape instead.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-03-31 12:12:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fucking terrible.
Submitted by SkwrkerBerserker (user info) at 2004-03-31 12:10:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment