Service With A Smile (476 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 1.85 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by K.M (View user info) at 2004-04-01 23:26:39 EST
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
Let's say we go to McDonalds for lunch.
Let's say we go to the far left Cash Register, the one in front of the stressed, shabby looking, middle aged woman employee. Her nametag, pinned above her left breast in capital letters, it says DEBBIE.
"And what would you like today?" DEBBIE asks.
"Well what do you have?" Let's ask this loudly. Rudely.
"The menu is to your right, sir." She says quietly.
Say that we haven't memorized the menu, so we step to the right and get a better look, like she suggests. There is no lineup, and the restaurant is practically empty. DEBBIE looks around timidly.
Every employee in the place has to be under the age of 18. She is the only, and very obvious, exception. It brings to mind those old nursery rhyme games from Sesame Street. "Which one, doesn't belong here? Which one..."
The manager steps in from the back room. He pauses, and looks at us. Apparently, he decides that since the place is empty save for us, he can announce his message in our presence.
"Obviously, the fact that you're standing out here means that you've all been hired. Congratulations. You have already been through the basics, how to take orders, how to work the registers, how to organize orders, how to convey the orders over the microphone to the cooks in the back, et cetera. But I want to explain something to you. Here at McDonald's, the number one, absolute cardinal rule is always SMILE. No matter what. No matter what the customer says. Always smile. Any questions? "
The teenage employees stop, and shuffle nervously under the new instructions. DEBBIE, however, appears to be lost in the lowest depths of humility.
"Ok, excellent. I'm glad you guys can handle that. Now, I want to see everybody's biggest, happiest smile now. Before we go any further."
Let's pretend we are still looking at the menu, and aren't really staring at DEBBIE, whose face is the deepest shade of crimson you've ever seen. The manager actually starts to walk around, surveying everyone's faces.
"Uh huh. Excellent. You- a little more. Perfect..."
Let's say he stops, directly in front of DEBBIE.
"Debra, let's see your smile." He removes his grease smudged glasses and begins to clean them with shirt.
Let's say that, at this point, it's probably best to tune out. You don't want to realize the implications of what's really going on here.
"Debra?" The manager places his glasses back upon the bridge of his greasy nose. He peers down at her. She seems almost tiny now, her shoulders slumped, her cheeks blushed.
You don't want to know that she is 47 years old. You don't want to wonder if she is a single mom, forced into this job just to get by. You don't want to speculate as to whether the manager is actually 10 years younger than her, or if it's just the stress lines around her eyes that heighten the contrast.
Its best not think that this woman is being forced to hide these things under a rictus grin for our convenience.
She swallows, and looks up.
"Sorry, Mr. Bamford." she says, as the corners of her mouth raise, scrunching her face into a spider's web of creases.
Smiles aren't really free.
User Reviews
Submitted by antiLemming (user info) at 2004-06-06 11:38:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-06-06 11:32:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-06-06 11:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminded me of Chuck Palahnuik
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-05-23 03:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I would have destroyed you, had this been an actual submission.
Well, that's an assumption, and this is a good post either way.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2004-05-17 00:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-05-16 23:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-05-16 23:37:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment