Service With A Smile (582 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.83 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by K.M (View user info) at 2004-04-01 23:28:44 EST
Let's say we go to McDonalds for lunch.
Let's say we go to the far left Cash Register, the one in front of the stressed, shabby looking, middle aged woman employee. Her nametag, pinned above her left breast in capital letters, it says DEBBIE.
"And what would you like today?" DEBBIE asks.
"Well what do you have?" Let's ask this loudly. Rudely.
"The menu is to your right, sir." She says quietly.
Say that we haven't memorized the menu, so we step to the right and get a better look, like she suggests. There is no lineup, and the restaurant is practically empty. DEBBIE looks around timidly.
Every employee in the place has to be under the age of 18. She is the only, and very obvious, exception. It brings to mind those old nursery rhyme games from Sesame Street. "Which one, doesn't belong here? Which one..."
The manager steps in from the back room. He pauses, and looks at us. Apparently, he decides that since the place is empty save for us, he can announce his message in our presence.
"Obviously, the fact that you're standing out here means that you've all been hired. Congratulations. You have already been through the basics, how to take orders, how to work the registers, how to organize orders, how to convey the orders over the microphone to the cooks in the back, et cetera. But I want to explain something to you. Here at McDonald's, the number one, absolute cardinal rule is always SMILE. No matter what. No matter what the customer says. Always smile. Any questions? "
The teenage employees stop, and shuffle nervously under the new instructions. DEBBIE, however, appears to be lost in the lowest depths of humility.
"Ok, excellent. I'm glad you guys can handle that. Now, I want to see everybody's biggest, happiest smile now. Before we go any further."
Let's pretend we are still looking at the menu, and aren't really staring at DEBBIE, whose face is the deepest shade of crimson you've ever seen. The manager actually starts to walk around, surveying everyone's faces.
"Uh huh. Excellent. You- a little more. Perfect..."
Let's say he stops, directly in front of DEBBIE.
"Debra, let's see your smile." He removes his grease smudged glasses and begins to clean them with shirt.
Let's say that, at this point, it's probably best to tune out. You don't want to realize the implications of what's really going on here.
"Debra?" The manager places his glasses back upon the bridge of his greasy nose. He peers down at her. She seems almost tiny now, her shoulders slumped, her cheeks blushed.
You don't want to know that she is 47 years old. You don't want to wonder if she is a single mom, forced into this job just to get by. You don't want to speculate as to whether the manager is actually 10 years younger than her, or if it's just the stress lines around her eyes that heighten the contrast.
Its best not think that this woman is being forced to hide these things under a rictus grin for our convenience.
She swallows, and looks up.
"Sorry, Mr. Bamford." she says, as the corners of her mouth raise, scrunching her face into a spider's web of creases.
Smiles aren't really free.
User Reviews
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-06-06 11:12:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-04 20:09:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When that happened to me... I sat there and thought about it. Then I realized that maybe my opponent hadn't submitted yet, and that could be why that message isn't up yet. Right after that, I clicked submit again just to make sure, and noticed that the link for my title had disappeared.
That was far from rocket science, but it would appear we have less than rocket scientists gracing the pages of Über.
+2 cause I liked it.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-04-04 19:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Fabish's first response.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-04-03 22:33:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just because.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-04-03 22:25:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm so terribly bored by you, K.M.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-04-01 23:48:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The same thought hit me too, but I'm sure someone's figured it out by now. Either way, I'm hoping they can do something so as to not force a forfeit.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-04-01 23:46:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know man, I am sure he will hear about it. I left him like twenty messages on msn in a fucking panic, with just a shred of hope that nobody would have realized this gargantuan fuck up.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-04-01 23:43:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I concur. I was just going to email Razor about it - I still can if you want me to that way I can request a new title because I don't want any biased opinions on soley our posts.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-04-01 23:42:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't believe that happened.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-04-01 23:41:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Definitely. I tried to knock this off the front page with a new post, and I emailed bart for him to delete it, but its already on the most recently viewed list, so other people have seen it, obviously.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-04-01 23:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If The Committee allows it, I say they give us a new title if possible. Your thoughts?
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-04-01 23:38:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know man. If i can, I will. But this was obviously my mistake, so it could be a forfeit.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-04-01 23:38:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit - now everyone knows what post is yours. Bart, Razor, somebody: help?
TECH SUPPORT!
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-04-01 23:37:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck. You going to write a new one or what? This is a bastard of a mistake.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-04-01 23:36:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i clicked the "ubermadness link" and pasted the message. so i hit that, and it said "as far as you are concerned, there is no message 28283483". so i clicked back, and it brought me to the submit page again, with all my text still in there. so i sent it again, and now its on the fucking front page
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-01 23:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
KM, post again.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-04-01 23:35:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dude, i know
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-04-01 23:34:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uhhh... K.M?