Go With It! (433 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Phoenix <volklcess.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2004-04-02 11:09:05 EST
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
I stretched luxuriously as I stepped off the airplane, letting out a great big ear-popping yawn. I hate flying. It felt good to be back on solid ground instead of hurtling through the air in a big metal cylinder. They say it's the safest way to travel, but I have a hard time believing that anything that heavy that high up in the air is "safe." Just more false securities, I suppose. I hoist my back pack up on my shoulder and follow the signs vaguely pointing out the direction to baggage claim in this massive airport.
Past the security checkpoint is where I saw him, made eye contact with his dazzling grey eyes, and sensed drool dribbling out of the corner of my mouth at the site of his stunning Hollywood smile. I'm not a firm believer in love at first site, but there's an exception to every rule. I couldn't stop staring at him; I simply let my head swivel freely on my neck as the crowd in the airport surged forward, forcing me along with them. Blatantly I stared, pushing against the flow of people that insisted I move forward, but he did nothing more than smile at me, his fabulous eyes twinkling in the nauseating fluorescent lights overhead. And then he looked away, and I gave in to the horde heading toward baggage claim.
My grandma was late to pick me up, which was to be expected. Punctuality was never one of her strongest traits. I sat silently at a bench in front of the terminal, mindlessly kicking at the duffel bag at my feet. The sun had started to make its journey behind the mountains to the west, and I grew more impatient with each passing minute when a voice cut through the hush behind me.
"Waiting for someone?" I spun around to find myself face to face with the object of my lust, his grey eyes looking straight into mine, searing into my soul. Subconsciously I gasped and then felt like a fool immediately afterward. His response was that fantastic smile. "My name's Ryan," he said, and held out his hand. As I went to shake it, I realized a handshake wasn't what he was looking for. He was handing me a brochure.
"What--what's this?" I managed to sputter out. The brochure boasted a beautiful Hawaiian sunset complete with palm trees and the golden trail of the reflection of the sun in the ocean. In bold yellow letters across the top it asked me "Have You Found What You're Looking For?" I cast him a skeptical glance and uninvited, he sat down on the bench next to me.
"I represent a group that is going to do GREAT things for mankind. We're all about helping people to find what it is they're looking for so that they might achieve the beauty that is inner peace." The expression on his face remains the same throughout all this nonsense leading me to believe I'm talking to a statue hooked up to a tape recorder. "If you'd like to achieve YOUR inner peace, you should come by the meeting we're having tonight and see what we're all about."
"I don't know..." The left side of my brain is telling me that this guy is fucking nuts, which very well may be the case, but my mischievous right brain makes a good argument: "C'mon, he's HOT. Go with it!" "Uh, I guess," I say reluctantly in response to my right brain.
"Great!" He grabs the brochure from out of my hand and jots down an address across the ocean. "Everyone will be meeting here at about 8:00. I can't WAIT to see you there!" With that he disappears back into the air conditioned sanctuary of the airport, and I'm left to wait for my grandma and ponder over the strange happenings of these past few minutes of my life and the disgustingly serene picture taunting me from the brochure in my lap. Deep down my intuition is trying to force feed me the this-is-a-bad-idea spiel, but I push my doubts under the reassuring echo of "Go With it!"
-------------------------------
Promptly at 8:00 I pull into the parking lot of a dimly lit warehouse. There weren't many cars parked out front; a couple wearing matching shirts, jeans, and sneakers was standing out front smiling blankly into the dark void of a parking lot to greet nonexistent guests. Everything about this scenario seemed awfully shady, but still my right brain was yelling at me to go with it. Perhaps there would be beer and snacks so that I might whet my taste buds. The thought of food made my creepy adventure slightly more appealing, and I maneuvered my grandma's rickety old Chevy into the parking spot closest to the entrance of the ominous warehouse.
Ryan was en route to my car before I'd even gotten around to opening the door. He runs a hand through his unruly brown hair and flashes me that freakishly perfect smile, quickly reminding me exactly why it is I'm here in the parking lot of this creepy abandoned warehouse. Because I'm not usually spontaneous, but I'm madly in love with this guy I don't know, and I should go with that. Makes perfect sense, right?
"Hey! I'm so GLAD that you could make it!" He opens my car door for me and puts his arm around me like we're old pals and I let myself melt into the warmth of his body. I take notice that his outfit also matches that of the couple's at the door - white shirt, jeans, white sneakers. The only difference is he makes it look good. Heh, yeah, I laugh at my own chauvinistic thought, but abruptly drop my ease when Ryan hands me an outfit of the same demeanor.
Once again I go against the screaming suspicions of my conscience, and give in to the persistence of curiosity. Maybe we're going to go roll in the mud, and he just doesn't want me to get my own clothes dirty. My explanation didn't make sense, but nonetheless my inner devil gave me a good hard pat on the back and said, "That's right. Go with it! Be spontaneous! Maybe you'll get laid..." I look up at Ryan and blush at the thought, rapidly snatching the clothes out of his hands and making a beeline for the bathroom.
This party's a complete bust. I scan the small crowd looking for someone to strike up a conversation with, but everyone seems so forlorn, everyone seems quite far from achieving any type of inner peace, and moreover, everyone's standing on opposite ends of the room making a statement that they're not going to talk to anyone and they're just fine with that (not to mention everyone's looking quite ridiculous in this uniform get-up).
Ryan comes up from behind me, and in his too-excited camp counselor voice says, "Hey you! Are you having FUN? Isn't this GREAT? Just wait till the party REALLY picks up!" I have my doubts that a party of this genre can ever REALLY pick up, but I give him a half-hearted smile anyway. He gives me a vigorous pat on the back. "That's the SPIRIT! Hey! I really like YOU. Are you just about READY to achieve that inner peace?" Unfortunately the more I talked to him, the less I liked him. Couldn't he just stand there and let me ogle the glory that is his seamless body? All this trouble just 'cause my right brain was horny and absolutely insisted that I go with this nonsense.
When I'm sure no one's looking in my direction, I sneak out and make a dash for the car. With luck I'll never be invited to a party that lame by a guy that strange ever again. I didn't hesitate to let my tires squeal as I pulled out of the parking lot. Goodbye and good riddance! An uncanny relief settled over me, and it wasn't until I saw the headline on the front page of the newspaper the next morning that I understood why: "Cult Commits Mass Suicide in Abandoned Warehouse."
I knew a couple screws were missing with Ryan. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought was not about what a devastation this was, but how glad I was that I didn't have sex with that guy. Go with it, indeed.
User Reviews
Submitted by cutiepie (user info) at 2004-08-12 15:40:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This reminds me of an episode of the "Family Guy"