Green. (1554 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.8 on 124 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Madness 2004 (View user info) at 2004-04-02 15:51:05 EST
 |
This post is officially part of UberMadness!. Click here for more information on the rules and restrictions. |
Entry 1
Cherie walked through the door of her home with a smile on her face and a song in her heart.She had just been shopping and all in the world seemed right. Brad had been feeling much better this morning and actually smiled at her as she walked out of the room on her way to the store. She had to leave him this morning to pick up some necessities and maybe just a few extra special treats for him.
You see, Brad was diagnosed with cancer 6 months ago to this very day. The doctor had said that it was cancer of the prostate but had traveled through his bloodstream and attacked his bone marrow. The treatments were extremely painful and Brad seemed to be doing so very badly for quite a long time.
Cherie remembered the way she felt after she had heard the doctor's last sentence.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this Brad, but you have maybe 4 months left. 6 if you are lucky".
She looked at Brad, searching his green eyes for a sign of hope. At that moment she felt completely helpless. She saw no hope in that sea of green.
You see, it was Brad's eyes that had attracted her to him in the first place. She could remember that day in the grocery store like it was yesterday. She was in the ice cream aisle, picking out her favorite brand of Ben and Jerry's. She lifted the last container of Wavy Gravy out of the freezer and was about to put it into her cart when she heard,
"Hey, wait a minute, that's the last one. I want it too."
She turned to her side and looked up into the most beautiful green eyes that she had ever seen and they were surrounded by a rather handsome and rugged looking face. She was sure that he was wearing contact lenses.
"But it's the last one, I want it too", she had replied.
"Wanna share?" Brad had replied. Before she knew it she was mesmerized by all that deep green. Her knees felt weak. Her heart started pumping faster. She stumbled over the words as she tried to spit them out.
"Sure, uh....Ok....why not?"
Brad had finished shopping with her and had sat at the picnic table outside the store sharing the ice cream with her and having a fabulous conversation. She missed most of it because she was lost in all that green. She actually had found out through steering the conversation around, that his eye color was natural. She was in love.
Now all she saw in those beautiful eyes was death, and it was staring right back at her. Her world fell apart and her hopes came crashing to the ground. 4 months! How was she going to show him how much she loved him in 4 months? How could she possibly do everything that she wanted to do with him in 4 months? Her world came screeching to a halt. Her tears seemed to never end, and her hopes and dreams became a faded memory of "what ifs" and "how comes".
She didn't remember driving home from the doctor's office that day. She didn't remember anything that happened during the next 36 hour stretch where it seemed that sorrow was so near; sleep so far away; death right around the corner. Then Brad finally reached her. He clawed through her shell with those green eyes and the only other thing that he had left...... Love.
He cuddled her and reassured her. He hypnotized her with his eyes and promised her he would beat the illness so they could live the kind of life that they wanted to. He reassured her that he would live so their love would not die. She remembered looking up into his earnest, boyish gaze and quietly agreeing that she would help him. She knew full well that she would be disappointed in this, as she was in all things that gave her joy and ultimately disappeared. She would watch that light in his green eyes very carefully over the next 4 months.
They saw doctors. Brad had treatments. His condition became worse because that's what chemo does to you. It brings you to the brink of death hoping that the bad cells die before the good ones do. She endured because Brad did. He took his treatment like a man and never complained even when his hair fell out and he lost much of his mobility. Even when he was too weak to make it to the bathroom and she had to help him go, right there in the bed. Even when the green light in his eyes started to go dim.
He never lost his dignity or his pride.
And he started to get better. The treatments were working.
So, as she unloaded the groceries onto the kitchen table, she gave a "I'm home Brad!" to her sweetheart. She also gave him a "I'll be there in a minute with a surprise!", this last sentence a sing songy rendition of a schoolgirls giggle. She scooped the Wavy Gravy into a bowl and began her journey into the living room where his bed had been set up for his ease of mobility. She loved sharing ice cream with Brad. She would let him feed it to her while she looked into his eyes. As she came through the doorway she sang "Look what I have for you....ou".
As she approached the bed she was slowed by Brad's posture. He wasn't sitting up smiling at her or watching TV. He wasn't answering her sing song conversation with his "you sound just like a little girl" look that she was so accustomed to. He wasn't reading or going through bills.
He was sideways on the bed, half hanging off, arms askew, motionless.
Cherie stood there for a moment registering what she was seeing. Her emotions were in shock and she was overloaded with a mix of fear and confusion. She dropped the ice cream at her feet and never even noticed as it spilled all over the carpet. It was like she never had the bowl to begin with.
"BRAD!!!!"
She rushed over to the bed and lifted him back up onto his pillow. She looked into his face and desperately tried to assess the situation. "Let's see, what had the doctor said I should do in case of an emergency? Is he breathing? Oh, Brad please be breathing". She bent over and listened at his mouth. She could hear her heart beating wildly, but she could hear no breath. "CPR! I'll give him CPR!". She was just about to grab the pillow from behind his head when she got a good look at his eyes. The green was gone. Only black was left. Black as deep as forever. Black as dark as death.
She started to cry as she picked up the phone. Her fingers were shaking as she dialed....9--1--1. She listened for a ring and as she did, she scanned his body looking at him for possibly the last time. She saw his hair all messed up like a young boy who has just gotten out of bed. She saw his chest, no longer rising and falling with air, but still, and a mere shell of the strong boy she fell in love with. She saw his hands. The hands of a skilled lover who took her to the brink of ecstasy and brought her down slowly, one orgasm after another. She saw the darkness.
"CLICK".
911 OPERATOR: "Broward county 911, is this an emergency?"
She saw the paper pressed between his fingers. "Where did that come from?", she thought. She reached for it, and through a tear stained haze, began to read.
911 OPERATOR: "Hello? This is Broward county 911, what is your emergency?"
To my loving wife, Cherie.
Words cannot express the strength and passion you have shown me over the last 6 months. May the next 6 months be just as nice. This is my tribute to you. I love you.
"Flowers that blossom, so pretty and full,
Winds that whisper, soft as wool,
A sunset of beauty at the end of the day,
You remind me of these things, in your own special way."
911 OPERATOR "Do you need the aid of the police? Is everything ok? Please state your emergency."
She read on......
"Walking softly on a summer afternoon,
A warm autumn night sitting under the moon,
The sweet smell of air in the middle of May,
You remind me of these things, in your own special way."
She was openly weeping now and she dropped the phone to the floor. She hadn't even heard the 911 operator's frantic pleas for her to state her emergency. She immersed herself in Brad's last letter.
"The way you smile, so soft and bright,
Your eyes that sparkle as dark as the night,
As intense as all of the things that you say.
You remind me of these things, in your own spec...."
It ended.
She follows the pencil trail off of the paper and realizes that Brad expired in mid word. She is bawling violently now, her body shaking and heaving with every sob. Memories of Brad flash through her mind at a frame a second and it seems as if she is remembering everything that has happened to them in their lifetime as just a fleeting moment.
After a minute or two she looks around the room, glances down at the floor and spots the phone. Puzzled, she picks it up and places it to her ear.
911 OPERATOR: "Ma'am are you all right? Is everything ok? I can hear you crying. Don't worry; the police are on the way".
Cherie listens intently, composes herself and considers her options. Speaking very clearly through her torrent of tears she recites these words,
"That's it. No more green. It's gone forever. Only black now. I'll spend just a little more time with my husband, if you don't mind."
The paramedics found her about 12 minutes later. Her head was resting gently on his unmoving chest. Her warm fingers intertwined with his cold dead ones. Her eyes searching his for color. The phone was sitting in her lap still connected to the 911 operator. She was repeating the same phrase over and over....
"No green......only black......no green......only black."
- VS -
Entry 2
Conrad Bauer lay on his deathbed. Much to his annoyance, a supernatural being was sitting on the foot of the bed, tapping his feet and playing air drums to the tune of "Can't Buy Me Love" by the Beatles.Conrad knew he was a supernatural being, because he had popped out of thin air, smiling under his mop-top haircut. "Will you stop that twitching, please!" Conrad shouted. The effort made his vision shrink down to a tiny tunnel. He closed his eyes and tried to calm down. The cold oxygen being forced into his nostrils burned his throat.
"Sorry. Is this better?" said the being. When Conrad opened his eyes, he saw that the being had transformed into a fifties punk, a greasy black curl of hair on his forehead and a small transistor radio pressed to his ear. It was playing "No Money Down" by Chuck Berry.
"No, it bloody well isn't," Conrad said quietly. Conrad had been born in South Philly, but ever since college he had affected a slight British accent. He found it helped him immeasurably in business deals.
"Ah," said the being. "And this?" He became a more or less respectable gentleman, fifty-something, but with hair rather longer than Conrad liked.
"Fine," Conrad breathed. He hesitated a moment, then continued. "Who are... are you Death?"
"No, no," the being replied. "My name is Azathel. I'm what you would call an angel, I guess. I'm here to hear your confession."
"Confession?" Conrad laughed. "I'm not Catholic. Beat it."
Azathel smiled. "Oh, it's not like you've seen in the movies, Conrad. We'll just kind of hit the high points of your life, get you ready for the big 'cross over'." He made air quotes around 'cross over'. "For instance, what was it that you sought more than anything else in the world?"
"Respect," Conrad immediately answered.
"Wrong!" said Azathel. "You were always chasing the green, weren't you?"
Conrad pursed his lips and thought. He instinctively knew he couldn't hide anything from Azathel. "The... yes, I guess I was."
"Sure you were. Nothing wrong with that, eh?"
"No," Conrad answered, but he didn't sound very sure of himself. He thought back over his life, the money made in spite of the lost personal opportunities. Before he knew what was happening he was spouting every sordid detail of his life, things he didn't even remember doing. He listened as an outside observer, disgusted at some of the things he had done.
As he talked, Azathel began patting his pockets as if looking for something. Finally reaching into the inside pocket of his leather jacket, he pulled out an MP3 player. "Oh, I love this song," he said, pressing play. "Man, you can't beat Pink Floyd." Conrad hesitated, but Azathel waved him on. Tinny music came from the player, counterpointing the ugly details of Conrad's life.
--Money, get...--
"... a way out of here. There's got to be. But I said, no, you signed a contract. I took everything she had. Hell, I took everything I could... "
--Get a good job with more pay and you're...--
"... okay, I'll take the Bulls by three but you make sure that guy doesn't make the game. If you have to, give him more..."
--Money it's a...--
"... gas was all over my hands and when I lit the match my hands went up WHOOSH and I ran outside and rolled over on them to put them out, but the building was burning good so it was all right to..."
--Grab that cash with both hands and make a...--
"... stash the drugs in my basement and I said hell no, that's your job. He got busted and I bought a..."
--New car, caviar, four star...--
"... daydream your life away, you loser? And she said I was the loser and stomped out and I yelled after her if you..."
--Think I'll buy me a football...--
"... team player, but I said you're bringing this team down no it's every man for himself, I'm pulling out my..."
--Money get...--
"... back in jail but I said I didn't care, he can rot as far as I'm concerned, in fact..."
--I'm alright Jack keep your hands off my...--
"... stack wasn't even close to coming up to code but a few bucks in the right hands will take care of it. It's only..."
--Money it's a...--
"... hit him again and again and he kept moving and I couldn't understand why he wouldn't just lay there and I said..."
--Don't give me that do goody good...--
"... bullshit, if you were going to pay me you would have done it already and he said I swear to God and I said don't even try it because..."
--I'm in the hi-fidelity first class traveling...--
"... set him up to fail and I just laughed and he said that I was going to hell and I just laughed harder..."
--And I think I need a...--
"... Lear Jet. It was the pilot that turned us in can you believe that the pilot and I made sure that he never saw the light of day again after that you can believe me he actually thought that he would get some..."
--Money it's a...--
"... crime to make sure I'm secure? I don't think so and neither should you but he said secure? This is a felony! And I said what, are you mad because I didn't..."
--Share it fairly, but don't take a slice of my...--
"... pie charts and whatever proving that I had been embezzling and I said so what you never would have made that much..."
--Money so they...--
"... say anything to incriminate myself and that's when I started having the chest pain so my lawyer said this..."
--Is the root of all evil...--
"... today was supposed to be my trial and my lawyer who is an absolute genius got them to delay it indefinitely until I recovered..."
--But if you ask for a rise it's no surprise that...--
"... they're going to come after me I know. I don't know if I should be..."
--giving none...--
"... away. I'm fading away... away... away... away..."
Azathel stood as Conrad's true self, a being of pure spirit rose to meet him. "See, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
Conrad looked at Azathel and they both rose through the ceiling, laughing.
Entry 1:
Ainkara
AlwaysAnEagle
Anjie
antluvdog
bargled
bart
beer-turtle
Bigmike
Cassiopeia
catscradle
Caulaincourt
Chronic
coley
danifestmestiny
DavyJones
Death_Metal_Dude
drink_DDT
EatMeCompletely
Fabish
Falconer
fionavar
firefly
FleetEnemaBadass
gascs
Genko
Gent
glam_daddy
GreaterThanBest
griffsrgr8
intellismartness
jeetkunetony
jimbo
JinkyWilliams
jwlmar10
K.M
Kimba
LaNa
legallady
Lexantur
littledan
loki
Luckystar
lush
Magno
Marx740
Method
miamiguy123
MickGinny
Mr-Boo
Mr_Insanity
NerfHerder
Papajoe
quack
raven_160
shark25
SoHipItHurts
spedmonkey
speeddaimon
tammy
Tastycat
tmofw
ugaly
vibeka
vildy
volklcess
wijormiclat
WiKi
WillZone
wlmk06
Yes
youarsoghey
YouLookLikeINeedADrink
Zod
59 eligible votes (73 total) *
Entry 2:
Anansie
AshK
BLITZKREIG_BOB
Deisangua
DraconianKing
Dustbrother
fell-8-me
gbusman
hairycoo
hamilton
hcp28
Heimdallsman
Herpes
iamhewhoisnot
JohnGalt
Judoka
lucid
Melany
mystiamoon
nemo
ohlookasquirrel
Phinch
polyamorousaj
QueenAshlee
Razor
reallybored
Robert_of_Duluth
russizm
Scott_James
Sideburns
SpikeGoddess
TaK
Titinita
triliad
unumlegio
whataefag
William_Q_Percy
31 eligible votes (37 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-04-09 00:07:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You Rock, Heimdallsman.
Thanks.
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2004-04-07 14:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's to ya, BigMike. Hell of a post there; congratulations.
Good luck in the future rounds.
--HeimdallsMan
Submitted by raven_160 (user info) at 2004-04-06 15:47:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2004-04-06 08:34:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gave me chills
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-04-06 04:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Both good, #1 very good
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-04-05 23:04:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-04-05 20:49:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2004-04-05 18:17:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2 was a decent post...
1 was Really, Really good.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-04-05 14:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-04-05 13:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-04-05 12:47:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like that #2 supported "chasing the green" without pounding the word green in to my head. Interesting take and premise too.
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-04-05 11:40:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That line about the orgasm with his skilled hands didn't fit at all.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-05 03:35:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Number 1 was actually pretty touching.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-04-05 03:00:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I honestly didnt even read entry 2. Sorry. 1, while somewhat predictable was just too good. You get a great, vividly described story, with a well written poem inside. The poet in me applauds. While I, being the sissy I am, shed a tear.
Submitted by nemo (user info) at 2004-04-04 17:54:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-04-04 17:11:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great work!
Submitted by Chronic (user info) at 2004-04-04 16:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-04-04 16:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
christ I dunno. first one fuck I dunno. second one well I dunno.
actually let me say it. first one although well written sucked badly so I must choose 2.
Submitted by YouLookLikeINeedADrink (user info) at 2004-04-04 15:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Lexantur (user info) at 2004-04-04 15:31:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2004-04-04 14:58:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by tmofw (user info) at 2004-04-04 14:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-04-04 12:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by triliad (user info) at 2004-04-04 12:02:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2004-04-04 04:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Number 2 was unreadable, started off promising, but unreadable.
Pity, it looked like it had promise...
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2004-04-04 00:31:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by vibeka (user info) at 2004-04-03 21:15:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-04-03 20:55:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
#1 was successfully the first post that brought a tear to my eye
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2004-04-03 20:26:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:07:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow holy crap #2, that was a good post!
You just better hope a lot of people who read this know Dark Side of the Moon.
What he said
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-04-03 20:03:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Marx740 (user info) at 2004-04-03 18:10:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-04-03 16:36:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm on such a downer after reading all of these in a row. So much sad!
writer #1... even though I knew Brad was going to die - the letter and the attachment to the "green" made it a great story to me.
Submitted by Magno (user info) at 2004-04-03 16:29:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by GreaterThanBest (user info) at 2004-04-03 14:40:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-04-03 14:19:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-04-03 14:17:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
2 was interesting. I liked how it wasn't as serious and depressing, but I followed 1 a little bit more
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-04-03 11:20:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fucking depressing.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-04-03 10:23:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by maleficent1 <maleficent1111.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-04-03 04:04:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW
Submitted by lush (user info) at 2004-04-03 03:47:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't like that all the stories are getting sad, is that supposed to make us vote for them?
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-03 02:54:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-04-03 02:37:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think these were both really good. I had to go with number one for the reason that, although the concept of alternating the song lyrics and bits of conversation in post 2 was a really neat idea, it kind of fizzled out and I think I couldn't find the story in that...
I'm betting some of you other reviewers are going to say "post one made me cry!"
but not me, cause I'm tough.
Submitted by Robert_of_Duluth (user info) at 2004-04-03 02:36:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
they both sucked
Submitted by Dustbrother (user info) at 2004-04-03 02:12:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Better than the first...
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-04-03 01:23:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is a tough decision.
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-04-02 23:32:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Entry 2 is better for drugs, Entry 1 sucks because cancer sucks.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-02 22:29:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
I have to admit entry one turned me off a lil since it was so...sickly sweet...in the first few paragraphs so I just skimmed before moving to entry two.
I just went back and read the whole thing and it pulls through amazingly at the end.
Good fucking work.
Seriously.
Both of you.
Submitted by catscradle (user info) at 2004-04-02 21:16:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pink Floyd is good, but #1 was better written despite the fact that it was too fucking depressing.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-02 20:58:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The second one's format could have been so much better.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-02 20:50:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by danifestmestiny (user info) at 2004-04-02 20:23:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Post one wasnt spectacular, but it was solid. Number two was dumb. Too much of the cut off quotes trying to be connected into the next one, and that wasn't much of an ending either.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-02 20:19:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking Tremendous.
Both of them.
So hard.
Can't buy me loooooooooooovveeeeeee
Submitted by Melany (user info) at 2004-04-02 20:18:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I like Pink Floyd.
Submitted by Melany (user info) at 2004-04-02 20:15:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by fionavar (user info) at 2004-04-02 20:00:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2004-04-02 19:55:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1st post was a bit cliche but it was done very well.
I wasn't feeling the dialogue intertwined with the song in post 2.
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-04-02 19:53:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-04-02 19:52:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-04-02 19:20:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
#1 was depressing...again...but well written and emotionally persuasive.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-04-02 19:15:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
damn. this was hard.
they were both really awesome. I'm was gonna vote for one because In number two, it was a bit hard to keep flowing with the chopping in and out of the song. Awesome idea and massive creativity, it just needed a little polishing. #1 was very well executed and poignant. and it really tugged at the heart strings, but it didn't have the creative spark of the second one.
I think i'll vote for the first one. or maybe I think the second one.....
GAAAAAA!!!!
Submitted by griffsrgr8 (user info) at 2004-04-02 19:10:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-04-02 19:08:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-04-02 18:34:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by glam_daddy (user info) at 2004-04-02 18:26:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
loki they took wavy gravy off the market.
bastards!
glam
Submitted by glam_daddy (user info) at 2004-04-02 18:24:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by miamiguy123 (user info) at 2004-04-02 18:07:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Depressing, but in a good way. Props for mentioning Broward County (I used to live there).
Submitted by jeetkunetony (user info) at 2004-04-02 17:58:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-02 17:55:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dam these were both top notch..1 was written beautifully, but 2 with the song playing into the mans confessions was completely brilliant! Bravo!
Submitted by wlmk06 (user info) at 2004-04-02 17:49:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-04-02 17:48:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this is the shittiest title yet.
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-04-02 17:47:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Close.
Submitted by XtremeMooCow <xtremeBob.at.msn.com> at 2004-04-02 17:35:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-04-02 17:22:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
2 confuzzled me a little beyond my liking.
Submitted by tammy (user info) at 2004-04-02 17:03:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by gbusman (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:51:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't get the end of 2, but at least it was creative. 1 was a little sappy.
-Bus
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:50:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by speeddaimon (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:50:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, not in the mood to comment right now.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:49:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:49:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Papajoe (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:47:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sigh, the first post made me depressed, but it was so well written that I have to vote for it.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:47:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I quite enjoyed the alternating between parts of his life and lines from the song. Plus I like that song too. Post 1 was good, but after the last line of the poem started drifting off the page all I could think about was the Castle of Agggggggghhhhhhh.
Submitted by Tastycat (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:46:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:45:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Do they still make Wavy Gravy? I didn't think they made that anymore.
I know Dark Side of the Moon, but even so the second one confused the hell out of me. I promise I'll take my Adderall before voting on these if people will cut it out with the death stuff.
Submitted by vildy (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:45:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by unumlegio (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:44:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:42:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, what I think you meant to say was "bawl" like a baby.
What you said was just, well, icky.
--HeimdallsMan
Submitted by iamhewhoisnot (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:42:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this was a tough call...amazing writing to both...both pulled me in
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:41:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:39:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:38:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:37:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SoHipItHurts (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:37:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:36:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This one's gonna be a buzzer beater, as it should be.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:35:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just for the large amounts of ass-kickery
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:34:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:34:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:32:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:27:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, this was truly a clash of titanic proportions.
Post one brought tears to my eyes, seriously. Good work.
Post two gets my vote for being so damn clever. Wickedly clever... awesome.
Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:26:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:25:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tough choice.
Submitted by Kimba (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:18:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:14:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no more death, no more death
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:13:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Anjie (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:13:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:12:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:12:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:10:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man. Entry 1 is a mighty hard act to follow. 2 was great as well, but I'm going to have to hand it to 1.
Great job, both.
Stay orange.
--JW
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:10:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Luckystar (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:10:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Both SOOOOO Good, but i like the undying loe idea...
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:07:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow holy crap #2, that was a good post!
You just better hope a lot of people who read this know Dark Side of the Moon.
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:06:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
These both sucked.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:06:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
These depressing real life dramatic posts are really beginning to annoy the fuck out of me.
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:01:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The only hope Entry #2 has here is that Entry #1 is likely to not get many votes, because it will drive people to kill themselves before they get a chance to vote for it.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:01:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Both were great.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:01:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought both were awesome, but number 1 almost made me ball like a baby...
Submitted by Mr_Insanity (user info) at 2004-04-02 16:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-02 15:59:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
both were good...and i do love pink floyd, but I'm going with #1.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-02 15:58:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-04-02 15:58:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
#2 was well written, but I just liked #1 better.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-04-02 15:58:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by russizm (user info) at 2004-04-02 15:56:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bleh
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2004-04-02 15:56:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by whataefag (user info) at 2004-04-02 15:55:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This again was close, but 2 had it for me because of the awesome "dialogue" (for lack of a better word).
Submitted by FleetEnemaBadass (user info) at 2004-04-02 15:51:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
They both sucked ass.