Feathers and Embers (983 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DrinkDDT (View user info) at 2004-04-03 12:02:33 EST
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
"Aaaaand, ACTION!"
The doorbell rang. Richard Swingin walked to the door in only his bathrobe, grabbed the knob, and opened it. At his doorstep stood a hispanic man with slicked back black hair and a five o'clock shadow. He had a toothpick in his mouth and a gym bag in his hand. His tan workshirt was buttoned only halfway, revealing two massive pecs.
"I'm Ramone", said the man at the doorstep, "Ramone, da plumma".
"Do you plumbers alway take this long to come?! I called OVER an HOUR ago!" said Richard. "I DESPERATELY need my pipes cleaned!"
Ramone stepped through the doorway, his face less than an inch from Richard's. "Don' worry. I bring all da biggest tools". Their lips met.
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Forty five minutes later Richard Swingin was standing at the water cooler, a cup of ice water in his hand. His face was flush and he was sweating profusely. Ramone had only one scene, the plumbing scene, and had quickly left the set as soon as the camera turned off.
"DICK! DICK SWINGIN??! What the hell are you doing bitch? We're filming the title scene in five minutes!" The film's director was shouting at him from across the set. He was wearing dark sunglasses and a black fishnet shirt. A purple scarf was wrapped around his neck, perfectly complementing his purple pleather pants.
Richard sighed. "The title scene, now? But I just finished a forty minute scene!"
"You only PITCHED in that scene, my man! You gotta CATCH now! Besides, Rez is waiting for you."
Richard gulped. He had been dreading this meeting all day. "Rez" was short for Resiliant Dong, the gay porn phenom from Asia. Rez looked exactly like the bad guy from the movie Bloodsport. His stage name in Asia was "The Punisher". Richard drank the rest of his water, crushed his cup, and threw it aside. He walked over to where the director and Resiliant Dong were waiting for him. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, and a salty residue in his mouth.
"You ready to make big fuck?", asked Rez.
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"Feathers and Embers, title scene, take one."
"Aaaaand. . . ACTION!"
Richard Swingin sat on the leather couch, staring into the fireplace. "You'd better get back in here, sailor!" he called. "There's nothing left in the fireplace but a few smoldering embers!"
"Yes," he heard from the other room. "And nothing left on me but few feathers!"
Resiliant Dong came from around the corner. He was wearing nothing but a magnificent Indian Headress. Richard looked at Rez's crotch as the Asian man strutted toward him. The girth he witnessed there made him cringe.
Surely there were better ways to net $600 a month.
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Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-07-26 03:16:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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