An Average UberMadness Post (775 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.83 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JWLMAR10 (View user info) at 2004-04-05 03:15:55 EDT
Esmerelda glanced at the floor with a look of despair. How long had she been in such a troubled situation? She owned and operated a small, profitable business, but somehow she was not happy. She suffered from mental illness and she had always had family troubles. She grabbed the knife from the kitchen counter. She looked at it shine in the dim light.
The knife resembled her personality; cold, sharp, troubled, likes helping people. She brought the knife to her face. No, she couldn't do it. She had too much to live for.
She drove to her families house. She went inside to find her mother and father, but all of a sudden a flash flood came through, filling the house with water. Esmerelda climbed onto the roof to see her parents be washed away by the churning water. She looked to the sky for help. There was nothing there. She had to find the strenght in herself. She jumped off of the roof into the churning waters and stabbed herself at the same time in the face.
Perhaps the truth really is in the eye of the beholder.
Ok, that was an exaggeration. Seriously though, I am getting tired of all of these pseudo-depressing posts. I thought there would be a lot more humor in this competition. And no, I don't see serious posts as showing more skill by the writer. A writer's skill shows through when they make me feel something, whether it is funny or sad. Most of these sad posts are doing nothing for me.
But then again, that's just my opinion.
User Reviews
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-19 03:53:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you for that Sideburns. You rock my world.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-19 02:55:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love to spam posts when I'm drunk <3333
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-04-06 01:33:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The knife resembled her personality; cold, sharp, troubled, likes helping people."
I can't stop laughing at that line. My cat thinks I'm nuts, but that isn't really all that unusual.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-06 01:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So far this remains accurate.
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-04-05 12:59:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's not about being funny or serious... it's about being original. Most of the serious posts have not been original.... they look like they've been lifted from the Nicholas Sparks handbook.
Submitted by Ashlee at 2004-04-05 12:51:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm terrible at funny, so most of my posts are serious. Man, I shoulda hung in there...
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-04-05 12:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit, I don't care if it's melodrama or comedy or sci-fi or fantasy or a fucking biography. If I like it for whatever reason, I'll vote for it.
You vote your way, I'll vote mine.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-04-05 12:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, I like humor too, but there's nothing worse than forced humor. If the funny isn't there, then forcing it is just not going to be a good solution.
I think people need to write what comes naturally to them for this competition. Write what you write best. If that's comedy, then great. But if your forte isn't comedic writing, then trying to be something you're not just for the sake of UberMadness is going to backfire. You must please yourself to please others.
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-04-05 12:35:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As someone who is getting his ass kicked in the competition, let me say this:
You're right. And I would rather have written a funny post. But it's hard for me to be humorous on demand.
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2004-04-05 12:32:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and? this is the first round.
Submitted by SPE (user info) at 2004-04-05 12:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
right
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-05 12:18:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH YES!
You are so right.
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-04-05 11:54:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I totally agree. Most of the posts have sounded like the whining angst of teenagers. The untimely death of the young thing has been done to death... and these posters are adding nothing to the genre. In fact, this genre was perfected by "Bridge to Terabithia" and should no longer be attempted.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-05 11:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm hoping that in the later rounds some funny stuff gets posted.
I came up with the title "Baron Von Tootles" which i find hilarious.
WIll
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-04-05 10:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
On another note, I think my opponent is going to forfeit.
And that sucks because I really wanted to see how he'd do.
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-04-05 10:52:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man, I got tears running out of my eyes. That was fucking hilarious!
+2!
Submitted by catscradle (user info) at 2004-04-05 10:09:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
idd, I don't think I'll make the next round, this comp is geared towards pseduo-serious crap about wanting to be with long lost or soon to die relatives.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-05 09:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jwlmar, it isn't a competition to see who can be the funniest, but who can write the best; comedy or other. In one of my posts the title was about giving perspective on UberMadness. It wasn't meant only as trash talk, but also to show that the comedy in this competition is going to be sparse. The comedy that does get written should be good, though. I'm conflicted... so zero.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-04-05 09:28:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So true.
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2004-04-05 09:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God almighty, yes.
"She put down the knife and looked into his eyes. She recognized the man who molested her as a child while they ate macaroni & cheese and watched Care Bears. It was at that moment when the little girl from her nightmare came in and said, your husband is really a serial killer and he's IN THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!! She quickly hung up the phone and ate a piece of fried chicken and saw a fried rat in the bottom of the bucket."
I don't mind the really original stuff so much, it's the stuff that sounds like a ripoff of an urban legend or a 30 year old ghost story that bugs me.
Submitted by BonesForBucks (user info) at 2004-04-05 07:09:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked it. It was just crazy enough not to be stupid. I liked the "helping people" part. I don't know why, but it amused me.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2004-04-05 05:15:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL...yep this ubermadness shit is tough going. I'd better stab my little toe with a spork to relieve the anguish.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-05 05:09:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Should be Monday night, midnight-ish.
I'm seriously pissed about my first-round opponent. Oh well. I'll explain it later when I'm allowed.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-05 04:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When do the posts get posted that are up against forfeits?
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-05 03:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Crap, this is getting nowhere.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-05 03:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha, no need to apologize.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-04-05 03:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
heh. no need to apologise, if i didnt push your buttons, then thats my fault, i promise to do better next time.
pending post title of course. ill probably get something like "hopelessness" or "the misery of the holocaust" or something
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-05 03:45:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha, sorry iddqd. I didn't mean it as anything personally against you, and I'm sorry that I didn't like your post.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-05 03:43:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Some are entertaining, but my point is that most of them are very cliche and/or predictable.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-04-05 03:42:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
bah. it is difficult to wirte a funny post if the words of your tiotle have a 'negative' connotation. words like 'last' or 'broken' etc make it difficult to be funny. i wrote a "pseudo-serious" post (one you didnt like i hasten to add, you motherfucker), due to the fact that the title kinda dictated it. i write all kinds of posts and the majority of mine are (intended to be) humourous. send bart and razor some humourous title ideas if you want to see something else besides the ones we are getting.
but ill see what i can do for you in later rounds. look for the 'sweet 16 round' when me and catscradle will be going head to head, you should get your moneys worth then.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2004-04-05 03:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know, it pisses me off how everything a depressing post, because they are in NO WAY entertaining. You just can't set up a decent storyline, interesting characters, and all those other elements in that small a space. I just stick to humorous stuff, because you don't need that damned character development, and they're more entertaining.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-04-05 03:22:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ghey
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-05 03:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It was hard for me to write a funny post. I really wanted to, but it turned out to just be a little freaky with some hint of humor. I did put a lot of effort into it, even if my opponent is Rizzo.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-05 03:18:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, you should have.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-05 03:17:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I should have entered this competition.