Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Networking: I have lost all faith in humanity. (374981 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.58 on 677 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tom (View user info) at 2004-04-05 04:09:33 EDT
I think just about anyone who meets me and talks to me for long enough comes to terms with the fact that I am a very sick, twisted person. Also factor in a few mountain dews, a Peer-to-Peer connection, and boredom and you get what might be the funniest combination imaginable.
I had been downloading music yesterday evening. Led Zeppelin, REO Speedwagon, Flock of Seagulls, things like that. Then I realized that it'd be a funny joke to play on people if I were to change "Keep on Rolling" to "Hot Lesbian Sex". I watched as within minutes this file got 50 downloads. I was astounded.
Then the Tom got an idea.
An awful idea.
The Tom got a wonderful awful idea.
What if, perhaps, I was to change some of these names to sick pornography titles? I wonder if I'd get any bites?
And this is where the fun begins.
The first title I put up was "Naked boys dancing and eating cake." I sat in anticipation, waiting for my first download. Success, the first download came. Then the second. Then the third. This baby was steamrolling down the information super highway like a trucker with a hardon that has 2 miles left to the next truck stop. Before I knew it, I was getting twenty downloads. Then thirty. Then fifty. Can you imagine that in the end, rather than getting dancing boys naked and indulging themselves with sweets and frolicking in a dewy meadow, one-hundred thirty two people got a disappointing video of Led Zeppelin performing "Dazed and Confused" in front of a live audience? At this point, I had no choice but to continue.
The second title I put up was "My Ex-Girlfriend mowing the lawn naked." I thought that this was too far out to get any downloads. Alas, I was wrong. It got a download. Then two. Then thirty. In the end, seventy-eight sweaty, drooling fucks wanted to see my ex girlfriend mow the lawn stark naked. She's not even that hot. Rather then get their lawn-mowing beauty, they got the song "Ozone baby."
For the third title, I decided to transform "White Wedding" into the more intriguing "Elephant cock horse." I wish I could say I was kidding when this thing was downloaded one hundred eighty seven times. I guess there is something about horses and elephants showing their cocks that bring out the best in people. I nearly died of laughter at this point. "How can nearly two hundred people want to see naked animals? They're ALWAYS naked!" For sanctity's sake, we're going to leave this as a mystery. I hope I turned some people on to Billy Idol, hopefully distracting them long enough to forget that masturbating to horse and elephant genitalia are not really something their mothers would be proud of.
I couldn't stop myself from doing another. "Grandma Bingo Sex." Short and sweet. I couldn't stop myself from amusing.........myself..... "Grandma Bingo Sex." Surely not a common scenario, and surely not a scenario that would arouse many a twisted psyche. Apparently I know nothing about the human psyche. One hundred twenty two. ONE HUNDRED TWENTY TWO PEOPLE would like to see grandma getting bent over the bingo table, game card in hand, getting donkey punched by a 90 year old addle brained porn star. I rubbed my eyes just to double check. My eyes had to be lying to my brain. My penis had shriveled to the size of a 2 day old Wendys chicken nugget.
They asked for Grandma.
They got Joan Jett.
At this point I had to start taking puffs of my albuteral inhaler to keep from suffocating myself with laughter. "Girl on girl toe insertion (LEGAL)" was my next proud creation. Everyone likes 38 Special, so everyone won't feel like such dumb-asses after downloading this footy piece of shit. Never underestimate the inertia traveling behind a toe inserting itself into a rectum, friends. It's like a fucking semi hurling down Interstate 40 in the noonday sun. One hundred twelve people wanted to jerk to this. God have mercy on us.
At this point, for some odd reason, the user name "Enraged Baboon" popped into my head. "Enraged Baboon fucking a nipple factory." No way in hell would this get many downloads. Who could possibly type in any or all of those keywords? I guess people like seeing sweaty red-ass baboons, nostrils flaring, banging their chests like Marky Mark in the movie "Fear", having sex WITH each other in a factory that produces baby-bottle nipples. Imagine what those children would look like. One hundred seventy two people typed those magic words into Limewire, and got a hot steaming pile of monkey love. Well, it was Pink Floyd, but a man can dream, cant he?
This could all seem very disturbing. My final experiment, however, made me dizzy as my precious sack retreated into my pelvis. ...THREE PEOPLE...three disgusting, drooling, perverted, fucked up people, wielding a box of Puffs Plus and a tube of Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion, bright eyed and bushy tailed, wanted to see "An emu taking a vicious dump." How does one take a VICIOUS dump and how does an EMU take one, for that matter?
Ladies and gentlemen: this is why I have lost every last ounce of faith in humanity.
If I may quote Method:
"You're going to make a lot of sick people very unhappy."
User Reviews
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2007-12-25 14:15:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
speechless
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-12-14 12:12:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://sims-perry.livejournal.com/
Someone's plagiarizing us.You're at the top. I'm at the bottom.
Submitted by Infidel (user info) at 2007-12-10 17:05:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
now you see, if i where looking around on lime wire and i saw the emu name, id probly download it out of pure and udder morbid curiosity.
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2007-11-29 09:48:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Mrs.Somebody (user info) at 2007-10-10 01:43:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it. Where can you go from here? Well, instead of "German P.M. Violates Cocker Spaniel" being something actually worth listening to like all the classic rock legends, people could be downloading Celine Dion. I once convinced the stoners in the apartment across the way from mine (all dudes) as they were on the way to Blockbuster to rent The Wizard of Oz to play simultaneously with Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon- that only posers think it is the Wizard of Oz that syncs with the album, cool people *in the know* know the true secret that it is The Sound of Music that syncs perfectly. They were young and dumb and they rented The Sound of Music.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2007-09-09 05:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do not!
Submitted by Rejection (user info) at 2007-07-31 00:06:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2007-05-09 23:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's been three years now. I still rock.
---
It's been three years now. You're still living in your parents' basement eating pizza, playing World of Warcraft, and reading Ubersite all day.
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-06-18 18:46:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by therealgeddylee (user info) at 2007-06-18 16:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking brilliant man.. brilliant. I do <3 emus though..
Submitted by viciouscorndog (user info) at 2007-06-09 17:10:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny as hell
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-05-22 10:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
thanks for the joan jett...
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2007-05-09 23:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's been three years now. I still rock.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-25 22:00:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Charlilot (user info) at 2007-04-10 02:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
did you post this on bash.org? I just saw it on the top 200 quotes
Submitted by DancingOtter (user info) at 2007-03-28 13:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lol, nice one =D
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-03-28 08:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
simply fucking amazing.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-03-15 12:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, that shit is funny....I'm sure you disappointed a lot of sick fucks.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-03-15 11:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was one of the first uber posts I ever read. One of the best too.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-03-09 00:12:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought I had rated this, but there you go! Brains of fucking a lamp post somewhere
Submitted by damunzy (user info) at 2007-03-07 19:40:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to take up this crusade! I am not going to stop a small files either. No, I am going to make it 700 MB (can fit on a CD) "Boys Getting Hammered" (AKA, "10 minutes of a multi-colored wall in HD").
Ah, I feel pure.
Submitted by Jaurenlo (user info) at 2007-02-26 13:31:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious...
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-02-04 10:22:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha ha ha ha ...
oh I love it!!!
Oh yes I do
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-02-03 18:23:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://bash.org/?572066
Submitted by detimus (user info) at 2007-01-31 13:01:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't believe how many people viewed this shit
Submitted by Bananana (user info) at 2007-01-25 17:35:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As the +2 says, this was indeed a "kicker of all ass"! Especially the emu line.
Submitted by Doogsterville (user info) at 2007-01-22 09:52:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was you!?
You sick twisted bastard. Thanks for the zep video though...
Submitted by DiamondEyes228 (user info) at 2006-12-20 00:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hillarious. there's some fucked up people out there.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-15 16:02:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by LongestPants (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:15:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
-2 for Limewire.
+2 for cake.
+2 for nipples.
Submitted by Jim_Lokus (user info) at 2006-11-23 17:26:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gold........'nuff said.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2006-11-18 00:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Looking back I can't help but wonder what an emu taking a vicious dump would be like. Huh.
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-06 12:12:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hey man id type that in
Submitted by rennfahrer (user info) at 2006-11-03 11:02:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I dont' know what to say.
Submitted by DonSturgeon2003 (user info) at 2006-11-02 02:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Truly funny
http://donsturgeon.tripod.com
Submitted by garudave (user info) at 2006-10-29 16:58:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed, I cried, I spooged.
Submitted by mynameisandy (user info) at 2006-10-05 04:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Brilliant, I'm going to try it now
Submitted by dephtones (user info) at 2006-09-15 13:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One of the funniest things I've read, honestly.
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-09-04 18:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how have I never seen this before? oh, that's right. I'm just a n00b... :(
Submitted by test (user info) at 2006-08-23 10:16:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mentalfuzz (user info) at 2006-08-15 17:23:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this was so cool-i have to do this some time
Submitted by Defect (user info) at 2006-08-14 15:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd download an emu taking a dump. Especially a viscous one.....err....vicious...whatevr...
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-12 19:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yup. thats some funny shit up there.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-08-12 18:40:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Still great everytime i read it
Submitted by Gargamel (user info) at 2006-08-11 17:34:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funniest thing I've read in quite a while. +2
Oh and by the way, "Enraged Baboons" would be a good name for a band.
Submitted by compEngineer0 (user info) at 2006-08-09 14:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesomo
Submitted by anass (user info) at 2006-07-21 08:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would love to fuck a nipple factory... or rate +2.
Submitted by DirtyDoubleEntendre (user info) at 2006-06-09 01:04:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I printed this and read it to all my friends.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nominated for best ever:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88684
Submitted by Bundaberg (user info) at 2006-05-28 09:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by DirtyDoubleEntendre (user info) at 2006-05-24 01:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah crap, I'm not done laughing yet!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-27 12:31:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.helpwinthisbet.com
Submitted by Stellar5446 (user info) at 2006-04-24 16:37:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm don't know if it explains away the magic, but I believe the reason for all the hits is that when people are looking for say Pink Floyd, they get the identity of that video stored in each shared copy regardless of the name. Example: I look for Capote and find a list of titles with the word "Capote", but other people have the exact same file without the keyword in it; the integrity of the file remains the same, because while you have "Emu Cock Legal Wonderbread" or whatever, the exact file on another computer is called "Pink Floyd- The Wall (live)" and you share in on the upload. If I'm wrong, I'd like to know.
-------
Well, even if they typed in 'Pink Floyd- The Wall', then there would be a list of names of files and among them you would see "Emu Cock Legal Wonderbread", and people would have to click on that one.
Submitted by TimTheBard (user info) at 2006-04-19 16:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-11 02:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-03-22 13:37:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bow down before me, your new lord and ruler, and serenade me with a beautiful flowing chorus of insults and -2's.
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fgrv8gunjltbgruijnokgthb yfioygfijBow down before me, your new lord and ruler, and serenade me with a beautiful flowing chorus of insults and -2's.
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwm neo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8q jh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg 5ru9psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaoj tp0om8qaoq5ja q lnhgowsandlfnsn gr;osmtrgo;hwmne o;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8 qpw9ju8 n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7 uieswajnhgaqoh wg5ru9psy ,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
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dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwmneo ;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq 7uieswajnhgaqo hwg5ru9psyu,tsjpi5 rex wau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dvsfahbtrd'lkgbvewsam0ofiimfdohmgods
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onusdgnifventro9ugerunoigenuignw4ouneoijh guvifn muigonv4rikjhngnwe jkfhxnjikgnfv iodsuhnvujwnl uifhetr
09vnjgi4opwjkmev9fomrfe jngiuoimgrimiofkm0iowremoifj8f irounrfhpn 98h e9pfhw7p9frfe
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fgrv8gunjltbgruijnokgthb yfioygfijBow down before me, your new lord and ruler, and serenade me with a beautiful flowing chorus of insults and -2's.
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwm neo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8q jh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg 5ru9psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaoj tp0om8qaoq5ja q lnhgowsandlfnsn gr;osmtrgo;hwmne o;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8 qpw9ju8 n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7 uieswajnhgaqoh wg5ru9psy ,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo; hwmneo;p j5w93ng[qpg eu8qpw9ju8n9o hv79opu iesgnjh5ro 7uieswajnhgaqohwg5ru9 psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qa oq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwmneo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg5 ru9psyu, tsjpi5re xswa u8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
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dlfnsn gr;osmtrgo;hwmneo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg 5ru9psyu,tsjp i5re xswau8io swa0[uoju5qao jtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwmneo ;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq 7uieswajnhgaqo hwg5ru9psyu,tsjpi5 rex wau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dvsfahbtrd'lkgbvewsam0ofiimfdohmgods
sdtrpijotgk8esw08gjpj85ew8pg8j5eimg4w9pvmwo9pmg9opwe8j8tiwvj9 8pwjtg9p8jt9p;gwi9evs9j8vw0ojgf0ubj98hbg tjnyhet
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onusdgnifventro9ugerunoigenuignw4ouneoijh guvifn muigonv4rikjhngnwe jkfhxnjikgnfv iodsuhnvujwnl uifhetr
09vnjgi4opwjkmev9fomrfe jngiuoimgrimiofkm0iowremoifj8f irounrfhpn 98h e9pfhw7p9frfe
fniu34` 8 fh97f8h987jn5iuhf bruyhg089hwuei ojg8vwsnoijvhtis lj8g90h4nwerwjh8g97iewausjhgr7tuinhwjtg08higt
gieuyfbiwgerop v jhiutvgj98uigntve908ghybvkotrkg9uin g tmrfjhiutgfe908 9hygbthfekdfjuiyghvfd8 9g7uiygfnujtg8vrfwgehjfojkgtr
t5gbrkjkigtjkhigtruijkiwr,f.oir90ouikgdef swouie is oui4w3 qirjkeki8gt9uo4ir8tiuyr gf-08hybvd0uygh3roe vf9i87uigref
fgrv8gunjltbgruijnokgthb yfioygfij
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:42:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe I only just got round to reading that (I think).
Outstanding.
Submitted by bordello (user info) at 2006-02-26 04:34:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm don't know if it explains away the magic, but I believe the reason for all the hits is that when people are looking for say Pink Floyd, they get the identity of that video stored in each shared copy regardless of the name. Example: I look for Capote and find a list of titles with the word "Capote", but other people have the exact same file without the keyword in it; the integrity of the file remains the same, because while you have "Emu Cock Legal Wonderbread" or whatever, the exact file on another computer is called "Pink Floyd- The Wall (live)" and you share in on the upload. If I'm wrong, I'd like to know.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-02-24 22:14:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
299959 hits....
Submitted by richsghostdog (user info) at 2006-02-22 16:17:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are truly a sick and twisted genius. Truly chuckalacious.
Submitted by Doberish (user info) at 2006-02-20 23:04:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You suck.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84167
Submitted by nunyabiznaz (user info) at 2006-01-16 00:31:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nicely done dog
Submitted by nunyabiznaz (user info) at 2006-01-15 13:25:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Captain_Zombie (user info) at 2006-01-14 10:18:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking awesome man. I salute you.
Submitted by Ditka (user info) at 2006-01-07 18:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a true post if ever there was one
Submitted by concerthead (user info) at 2005-12-09 22:35:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Way to amuse yourself dude
Submitted by plastiq (user info) at 2005-12-07 19:19:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hahaha
Submitted by boy (user info) at 2005-12-04 02:55:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
led zepplin sucks. i hope i get a reaction so some reads my posts now.
Submitted by Dr.Gonzo (user info) at 2005-12-02 20:03:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 as this is the post that introduced me to ubersite!
Submitted by Kidmc (user info) at 2005-11-28 06:24:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Fcking brilliant! there are sum sick fcks out there
Submitted by fusion88 (user info) at 2005-11-14 03:20:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
hahah the pic of them videos is funny fuck its so true sick bastards
Submitted by yuvalset (user info) at 2005-11-10 05:22:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
very good. But, you wouldn't want people to start thinking about the emu's vicious dump, now would you? so give it a bad rating and say it's good, is my way of doing things.
Submitted by MrHappyPants (user info) at 2005-11-09 14:02:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/78654
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-11-04 16:50:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
In case anyone's wondering, the popularity of this post and several others later on in the year is essentially the reason we don't have the most recently viewed list anymore. It killed the servers.
/historylesson
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-10-30 16:19:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.bash.org/?572066
bahahahahahahaha
Submitted by tamcginn (user info) at 2005-10-03 07:58:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If it's possible to piss your pants and spit coffee out of your nose at the same time...I think I did it while I was reading this! It was the the comment about the emu that did finally me in!!
Submitted by moopadoopdoop (user info) at 2005-09-28 15:38:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THAT ACTUALLY MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD NOT LIKE THOSE OTHER LOLs
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2005-09-08 14:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the Link Whore?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/74769
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2005-08-25 16:48:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't download any of those to jerk to them.
Just like you didn't download the REO Speedwagon video to jerk to.
Or did you?
Submitted by studentworker (user info) at 2005-08-25 09:07:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by jet_stream_nz (user info) at 2005-08-20 14:48:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I may have tried to Download one or more of these files ... However I am not prepared to says which ones ...
LOL
Submitted by Kindred (user info) at 2005-08-03 02:08:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You always crack me up
http://www.ubersite.com/m/72348
Classic!
Submitted by Leopold525 (user info) at 2005-07-28 16:21:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Truly amusing way to kill some extra time
Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-07-28 16:13:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA!
Submitted by Gendo (user info) at 2005-07-28 15:59:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
[garbage deleted by bart]
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-07-26 00:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/70277
Submitted by TheJollyMisanthrope (user info) at 2005-07-15 13:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Old men jerking it with DW-40 on their grandbabies
Submitted by mush (user info) at 2005-07-09 12:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by spamtrap50 (user info) at 2005-06-30 02:48:32 (#)
Ranking: -1
Dude...most of the file sharing programs out there won't show your title...they'll just compare your file size (down to the byte) and other various characteristics to other files being shared, and match it up that way...in short, I'm guessing very few people were actually trying to download your twisted titles...most were looking for the actual file you were offering, but your title wasn't shown...
---------
You're an idiot.
Submitted by spamtrap50 (user info) at 2005-06-30 02:48:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Dude...most of the file sharing programs out there won't show your title...they'll just compare your file size (down to the byte) and other various characteristics to other files being shared, and match it up that way...in short, I'm guessing very few people were actually trying to download your twisted titles...most were looking for the actual file you were offering, but your title wasn't shown...
Submitted by Stellar5446 (user info) at 2005-06-30 02:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HELL YES! YES! AND HELL! YES!
Submitted by crazybutsolazy (user info) at 2005-06-27 22:15:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG I sent this to every single person I have EVER known. Best thing I think i have ever read! props to u!!
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-06-27 13:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Know what? I have lime wire...
I think I should try some experiment like this.....
Submitted by Pr0j3ct (user info) at 2005-06-27 13:27:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been reading Ubersite for so long...but I could never login correctly at work (government bullshit), so I could never verify my Email address. Finally I did it at home and now I am here to do what I've wanted to do for sooooo long...
PLUS
FUCKING
TWO!
Submitted by icanusebigwords2 (user info) at 2005-06-16 18:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have sent this to all my friends. YOU ARE MY HERO!
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-06-14 13:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by soapXdestruction (user info) at 2005-06-14 09:35:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hilarious. now i want to try it. hm.......
Submitted by WhatDoesThisButtonDo (user info) at 2005-06-14 06:10:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by NiNiCraft (user info) at 2005-06-11 21:50:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Katelyn (user info) at 2005-06-02 03:56:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by picow (user info) at 2005-06-01 21:34:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha priceless.
Submitted by goose (user info) at 2005-05-17 14:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-05-15 06:50:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This amazing piece of work should be #1 again.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-06 03:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Because you reviewing it will get it 20000 hits.
Submitted by Skippy (user info) at 2005-05-06 03:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lets get it back to no1!
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2005-05-06 02:00:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by baking_Lady (user info) at 2005-04-23 04:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-05 01:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tom I'm concerned about your weight problem.
Tom The Uber: I got accosted by a large african american tow truck man today.
Uberstrip: did you bang her?
Tom The Uber: man
Tom The Uber: MAN
Tom The Uber: male
Uberstrip: yes, did you?
Tom The Uber: No
Uberstrip: me neither
Tom The Uber: Somewhere between "Hi, it's in the garage, hold on, I'll open the garage door so you can get it" he came to the conclusion that I was acting like a jackass and had a bad attitude
Uberstrip: I woulda puched the fuck out
Tom The Uber: I have quite a number of black friends, and they always tell me that about one in five will randomly pull the racist card.
Uberstrip: hilariuos
Tom The Uber: he ended up calling my mother and telling her that I had a bad attitude
Tom The Uber: so she yelled at me
Tom The Uber: and I pretty much told her to go fuck herself
Tom The Uber: because she doesn't like me
Uberstrip: so kill her
Tom The Uber: Trust me, it's tempting.
Uberstrip: does she hate you because you're so fat?
Tom The Uber: She acts like the point of all evil is because I was born.
Tom The Uber: She actually complains that I'm too thin.
Uberstrip: I think you should kill her
Uberstrip: use a stolen gun
Uberstrip: no one will care
Tom The Uber: I think I'd rather let her live.
Tom The Uber: She's got herself convinced that her life sucks. It'd be funny if it was funny.
Uberstrip: two to the back of the neck
Uberstrip: bang bang
Uberstrip: slump
Uberstrip: no more problem
Tom The Uber: yeah except I don't want to be an orphan just yet
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-31 03:48:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But what the fuck were you doing listening to Flock of Seagulls?
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-31 03:45:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
C'mon. You people are just attracted to the word "cum", apparently.
Not that it wasn't a great post.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-31 03:42:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/29438
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-31 03:41:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I prefer this one.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-31 02:40:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lost the spot on MVM...
C'mon people. 500 more hits. This was better than "if I cum now".
Submitted by dudaculb (user info) at 2005-03-30 16:48:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man i always see these weird videos on limewire. It was U!
http://www.FreePSPs.com/?r=16768803
Submitted by Thirty_Four_Eggs (user info) at 2005-03-17 22:56:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/62179
Submitted by Thirty_Four_Eggs (user info) at 2005-03-14 21:59:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Reviewer 1000 wins a prize.
Submitted by Wallstreet (user info) at 2005-03-13 17:55:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/58223
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-03-10 20:14:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
888888888888888888888888888888888
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Yeah great post....
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-03-10 19:25:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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somebody say steak?
Submitted by PokerIsMyLife (user info) at 2005-03-10 04:55:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if anyone's mentioned this before, but it's very hard to fool a lot of P2P servers into thinking a music file (.midi/.mp3/etc.) is a movie file.
But I'm not about to discard the possibility these people actually wanted sound files of elephants mating or naked dancing boys eating pie.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:19:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm a jealous asshole so here's a -2.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:09:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-09 06:04:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck! 230603 hits!
Is that some kind of record or something?
Submitted by Supercords (user info) at 2005-03-08 15:11:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2005-03-07 18:03:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61388
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-02 21:26:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess I'll give this a +2. I never did before.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-02-28 01:14:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60787
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-02-26 04:19:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
More hits than a crack addict in an abandoned police station
Submitted by icarus9mm (user info) at 2005-02-20 02:13:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
people still rate this?
jesus.
go here: http://spacefed.com/gc/?in=198146
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2005-02-19 05:41:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2005-02-18 09:47:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
TOM
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2005-02-15 20:51:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Go to hell.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-02-12 17:00:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought of this idea first. Give me money. Give me hits.
-2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-02-08 21:24:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I want my royalty checks.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2005-02-08 21:14:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rating: 1.62 on 666 reviews
ITS TEH FUCKIN ANTICHRIST!
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-02-08 18:10:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
britney spears topless!!!12!!#eleven http://www.ubersite.com/m/59041
Submitted by Wallstreet (user info) at 2005-02-06 03:45:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
One a scale of 1 to REALLY odd....
where does this fit?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/58758
Submitted by parkinsons (user info) at 2005-01-31 23:34:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking hilarious
just fucking hilarious
Submitted by CommieHeart81 (user info) at 2005-01-28 09:47:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this shit is hilarious, and i commend you, tom, on showing me just how little of my time it is worth to even bother trying to find a reason why not to give up on people. i think i fell a little in love after i read this story. awesome.
oh, and already does not have two 'l's when it is one word. when you want to use two 'l's it's like this: um, it looks like we're all ready to go. one 'l': it's already time to leave. i truly hate when people try to act so smart when they don't have a clue.
but tom, i love you.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-01-28 01:32:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because it's not down yet even though it's after 1:30
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-01-28 01:29:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because uber is shutting down. Noooooooooooooooooooooo!
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-01-27 05:24:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Allready has two ll's rad fuckwit. learn to spell, before you cast dispersions upon others!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-01-27 04:53:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ban this idiot already
l
l
l
l
l
l
l
\/
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-01-27 04:43:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what the hell man if they are comin at ya,means they want somthin,more better you look after them and care for them,than they get on the stret uh?
Submitted by Wanker (user info) at 2005-01-25 15:05:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-01-24 16:39:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's schlongy!!...http://www.ubersite.com/m/57566
Submitted by briancte (user info) at 2005-01-23 18:51:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this thing has been on most viewed way to long!
link whore http://clicktoexit.net
Submitted by Silja (user info) at 2005-01-23 17:53:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I realized I've never rated this either.... Classic :)
Submitted by mazman23 (user info) at 2005-01-17 11:22:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have seen the light and the light is Vermin
http://www.ubersite.com/m/56905
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-01-10 15:06:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The next post is funny,
Not just for the writing;
It's full of Blink fans who
Should be hit by lightning.
Submitted by CaptainAmik (user info) at 2005-01-05 06:44:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I also have never +2'd this, but it deserves it.
Submitted by skrew_ball (user info) at 2005-01-05 06:26:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe my favorite post of all time. Never +2ed before, but here it is. Yes, truly, the kicker of all ass.
Submitted by Rutabaga (user info) at 2004-12-27 09:32:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-12-25 01:46:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2004-12-22 20:28:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-16 23:12:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, I made some of those songs. Check them out here, http://www.ubersite.com/m/53924
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2004-12-14 23:40:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Reference :http://www.ajc.com/hp/content/auto/epaper/editions/today/metro_14ebb80c008cc156005e.html
Some people are using "Naked Boys Singing" to try to get The Armory's liquor license revoked because it's a gay bar.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-12 00:00:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Every time I bass a bingo hall or a VFW or something, I see the words "Grandma Bingo Sex" on the board...
My friends think I'm nuts...
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-12-11 23:46:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I started laughing about the Emu comment in my car