A Saucerful of Secrets (886 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.94 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ess2s2 (View user info) at 2004-04-06 00:18:23 EDT
This post sucks, if you can't handle a post that doesn't joke or talk about shit or semen, skip this post and read one of KoolMang's posts. If you think you might feel like you want to post a snide or hurtful comment about this post, please do both of us a favor and don't.
I look at my 2-and-a-half year old daughter and I realize that I can laugh and cry at the same time. Even at such a young age, I can see so much potential beginning to bloom. Everyday, she does something else that simply amazes me, and it is unbelieveable how strong she really is.
About three weeks ago, she went in for surgery. Nothing life threatening, but all the same, I was apprehensive. See, she was born with a birth defect on her right hand. Her middle finger was missing until we had x-rays done. the first bone in her middle finger was laying crosswise between her first and third knuckles. The second bone from her middle finger was fused to her ring finger and the third bone was missing altogether.
Pediatric staff decided to operate to remove the malformed bone growths so they wouldn't damage her hand as she grew older.
It's strange, I was fine until the day came for her to go under the knife. Once we reached the hospital though, I became even more scared than she was. I kept thinking the most horrible things.
Well, the operation went down without any problems, three weeks later, she gets her cast and bandages off and now I have something new to worry about. How will she feel about that scar or the lack of a full ten fingers when she gets old enough to understand? I'll have to be the one to tell her that she didn't have the option of being born like other kids, and I'll have to tell her it's my fault. The birth defect is hereditary.
So since the bandages came off I've been asking myself the same question over and over again: Will she be okay with her hand? Will she be okay with me?
I love my little daughter and I know she loves me back, and that allows me to get on with life, but I look at her and I'm sad.
This post is the real reason I have been so angry and weird lately. Hopefully once I get this off my chest, I can go back to being me. Thanks for reading this and possibly understanding or at least sympathizing with me.
Sorry for this shite post.
User Reviews
Submitted by Brianthetruthspeaker (user info) at 2004-12-23 17:21:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not all parts of parenthood are pleasant
Ill pray for her and your family
My son had tubes put in his ears at four years of age
And seeing him in recovery was hard enough.
Yours was much more serous.
God bless you both.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-12-23 16:56:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-04-07 14:23:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
;P
Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2004-04-07 14:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, Loki...That's just mean girl. Although I figure if she starts on a paper route now, she'll have enough money by the time she's eighteen to pay me back for all the costs I've incurred raising her. *Then* we can talk about college.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-04-07 13:32:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you want something new to worry about, talk to a financial planner about how much it's going to cost you to put the little darling through college.
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-04-06 14:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You rock. She'll love you.
Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2004-04-06 14:21:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Again, thanks everybody, I realized as I read Loki's comments that I'm acting alot like Marlin from "Finding Nemo".
I'm at home for lunch right now and my daughter is running around the house with some cheese cut in the shape of stars and yelling "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-04-06 13:26:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretend that says "ring finger" under the writing thing not "other hand".
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-04-06 13:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damnit, I've been sitting here for 10 minutes trying to see what all I could and could not do if I were missing that finger then I clued in that she will never know anything any different and will have no trouble adapting.
writing - not an issue, just hold the pencil or in her case crayon with the other hand
typing - she'll figure out a method for that no doubt
I play the piano so it would rock my world, but here again if she wanted to play the piano I'm sure she could adapt. Fingering is more style than anything.
Violin - the fingering is in the left hand, all you do with your right hand is hold the bow.
I figure her bigger issue is having YOU for a father. OMG I am so funny.
Seriously though, she'll be fine. It's you I'm concerned about.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-06 11:30:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn, sorry man
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-06 11:30:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She will be okay.
People have overcome much worse. That's not much of a consolation, I know.
Submitted by slyphter (user info) at 2004-04-06 04:16:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
touching post. almost as touching is the fact that a bunch of uber users acted like kind reasonable people. I would hate to see a koolmang effect here.
Submitted by They_call_me_the_Fireman (user info) at 2004-04-06 04:10:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hang in there Ess2s2. She will turn out just fine.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-06 02:47:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really hope all works out in time, who knows with the way medical technology is advancing nowadays maybe by time she gets old enough to really realize her hand is different there may be some sort of prosthetic or even a way to grow her finger naturally. I mean shit they grew a human ear on the back of a mouse so a finger with stem cell research sure doesn't seem all that far-fetched.
Then again maybe she will be the next Mozart with only 9 fingers
Submitted by shadowdragon (user info) at 2004-04-06 01:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's why we're designed to have TWO middle fingers. just in case one doesnt work out.
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-04-06 01:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She's got an elf hand (from the elfquest graphic novel/comics... yes, I'm a geek). That's *awesome*.
I was going to say, "Remind her of how beautiful she is every single day", but then I realized you're probably way ahead of me on that one.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-04-06 01:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am pleased your little girl will be fine. When they're your kids, you never stop worrying.
Submitted by Katia69 (user info) at 2004-04-06 01:00:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.. shit... that really brought a tear to my eye. I can't say I understand coz i don't, but I know what it feels like to have guilt always above your head. I don't think your daughter will blame you at all, your her father, she loves you and nothing will ever change that. life's up and down, but you deal with it, and so will you both. Give her the gift of love and she'll appreciate it for many lifetimes to come.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-06 00:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yyyyyyyes I have been Noticed!
Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2004-04-06 00:52:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, thanks everybody. For being a bunch of strangers on the internet, you sure can make me feel better.
By the way, I couldn't help but laugh at heyzues's and Donitsu's comments.
Thanks again.
Submitted by esso_merda (user info) at 2004-04-06 00:43:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let her know everyday how beautiful she is.
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-04-06 00:37:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My mom had 12 fingers but she had the 2 extras removed when I was like 3. Her scars hella cool lookign and you can see the left over muscle wiggle too!
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2004-04-06 00:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hope your daughter is OK.
Also,not to be mean or anything, but that hand reminded me of the Simpsons.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-06 00:35:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stuff like this makes me get all teary eyed.
Submitted by Adona at 2004-04-06 00:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey,
I don't know you, and I don't know anybody here...but I hope your daughter is ok.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-04-06 00:29:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i can imagine how this would knock you around
i have a little boy aged four
he had an op recently and i remember getting teary eyed as he went under the anasthetic
it was such a relief when he woke up again.
Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2004-04-06 00:27:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i don't think you should have to worry about it until she gets old enough to understand. then, based on her feelings about it, you can feel how you want to.
i'm sure you feel guilty because of the whole heredity thing, but perhaps she'll be able to accept that. nobody should ever blame their parents for genetic abnormalities. do you blame anyone for having this abnormality that you passed on to your daughter? it doesn't sound like you do. you only blame yourself.
without going all psychiatrist on you,i guess my advice is just to teach her as soon as you can about genetics and always let her know how great she is.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-06 00:26:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey i feel for ya. I'm sure she'll come to terms with it. I was born an idiot and i've come to terms with that. nahh i'm just jokin about the whole idiot thing. The only thing you can really do for your kid to make it not matter is to build up her self esteem. If she doesn't like herself than she'll never be satisfied with herself.