Service With A Smile (655 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.34 on 43 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Madness 2004 (View user info) at 2004-04-06 19:20:33 EDT
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This post is officially part of UberMadness!. Click here for more information on the rules and restrictions. |
Entry 1
Let's say we go to McDonalds for lunch.Let's say we go to the far left Cash Register, the one in front of the stressed, shabby looking, middle aged woman employee. Her nametag, pinned above her left breast in capital letters, it says DEBBIE.
"And what would you like today?" DEBBIE asks.
"Well what do you have?" Let's ask this loudly. Rudely.
"The menu is to your right, sir." She says quietly.
Say that we haven't memorized the menu, so we step to the right and get a better look, like she suggests. There is no lineup, and the restaurant is practically empty. DEBBIE looks around timidly.
Every employee in the place has to be under the age of 18. She is the only, and very obvious, exception. It brings to mind those old nursery rhyme games from Sesame Street. "Which one, doesn't belong here? Which one..."
The manager steps in from the back room. He pauses, and looks at us. Apparently, he decides that since the place is empty save for us, he can announce his message in our presence.
"Obviously, the fact that you're standing out here means that you've all been hired. Congratulations. You have already been through the basics, how to take orders, how to work the registers, how to organize orders, how to convey the orders over the microphone to the cooks in the back, et cetera. But I want to explain something to you. Here at McDonald's, the number one, absolute cardinal rule is always SMILE. No matter what. No matter what the customer says. Always smile. Any questions? "
The teenage employees stop, and shuffle nervously under the new instructions. DEBBIE, however, appears to be lost in the lowest depths of humility.
"Ok, excellent. I'm glad you guys can handle that. Now, I want to see everybody's biggest, happiest smile now. Before we go any further."
Let's pretend we are still looking at the menu, and aren't really staring at DEBBIE, whose face is the deepest shade of crimson you've ever seen. The manager actually starts to walk around, surveying everyone's faces.
"Uh huh. Excellent. You- a little more. Perfect..."
Let's say he stops, directly in front of DEBBIE.
"Debra, let's see your smile." He removes his grease smudged glasses and begins to clean them with shirt.
Let's say that, at this point, it's probably best to tune out. You don't want to realize the implications of what's really going on here.
"Debra?" The manager places his glasses back upon the bridge of his greasy nose. He peers down at her. She seems almost tiny now, her shoulders slumped, her cheeks blushed.
You don't want to know that she is 47 years old. You don't want to wonder if she is a single mom, forced into this job just to get by. You don't want to speculate as to whether the manager is actually 10 years younger than her, or if it's just the stress lines around her eyes that heighten the contrast.
Its best not think that this woman is being forced to hide these things under a rictus grin for our convenience.
She swallows, and looks up.
"Sorry, Mr. Bamford." she says, as the corners of her mouth raise, scrunching her face into a spider's web of creases.
Smiles aren't really free.
- VS -
Entry 2
(10 bytes) [text/uberhtml]Entry 1:
Acarnis
antluvdog
beer-turtle
Chronic
coley
DavyJones
Deisangua
EatMeCompletely
fell-8-me
gascs
gbusman
Gent
hamilton
Heimdallsman
hopex
Insanethemind
JohnGalt
K.M
lizadoolittle
lucid
Phinch
quack
Razor
russizm
Scott_James
spedmonkey
Titinita
tmofw
volklcess
wijormiclat
William_Q_Percy
WillZone
Yes
youarsoghey
28 eligible votes (34 total) *
Entry 2:
engine13
Fabish
Herpes
XtremeMooCow
2 eligible votes (4 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-04-06 23:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2004-04-06 23:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-04-06 23:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-04-06 23:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-04-06 22:57:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I liked the way it was written but felt let down at the end.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-06 22:48:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by gbusman (user info) at 2004-04-06 22:44:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by gbusman (user info) at 2004-04-06 22:44:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by lizadoolittle (user info) at 2004-04-06 22:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2004-04-06 21:55:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-04-06 21:46:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by XtremeMooCow (user info) at 2004-04-06 21:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2004-04-06 21:25:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Chronic (user info) at 2004-04-06 21:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-04-06 21:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-04-06 20:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2004-04-06 20:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2004-04-06 20:33:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What the shit? Too many forfeits.
Submitted by hopex (user info) at 2004-04-06 20:30:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-04-06 20:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-04-06 20:18:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this one was a hard choice
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-04-06 20:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HA!
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-04-06 20:09:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I vote for one. I rate it one. Why? Because it made me smile, and that is ironic.
I once went into a McDonalds and only asked for a water and three smiles, I got the finger and the water thrown in my face.
This didn't get +2 because McDonalds was the first thing that popped into my mind, but you put a nice twist on it anyways. Good job, a vote well earned.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:57:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:43:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:41:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, very good.
Too bad you had to win by forfeit. That sucks.
--HeimdallsMan
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:37:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by russizm (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:33:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hiasdf
Submitted by tmofw (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:32:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/29171
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:28:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:27:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:26:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
#1: brilliance
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:24:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry one K.M accidentally submitted to the front page on Thursday.
Fabish agreed to just have a new title and so their post is up there somewhere on the list.
Since Fabish never posted an entry for this, it popped out just now.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:24:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didnt get a forfeit. This was the one I fucked up, and we had to start over.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:23:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, nice post.
Too bad that this one doesn't count.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:22:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've read Entry 1 somewhere before...
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wish I got a forfeit. Lucky bastard
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:21:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought this would have been deleted.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-04-06 19:21:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
YEAAHHHH!!!!