50 things every girl wished guys knew...and how an average middle class white male thinks of it. (6138 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.28 on 43 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <mooneybro.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2004-04-07 16:25:37 EDT
I know Maddox did something like this, but this is anouther list. My friend had it in a profile and I thought it was complete bullshit. so this is my version of how i see it.
***1)You have to tell a girl how you feel about her...we make no assumptions.
Yet if we call you a bitch, you get all pissy. then you get your friends to gang up on us.
2)It never hurts to work out...take your own advice.
Way to be shallow, skank.
***3)Girls like sex just as much, if not more than guys.
I always hear girls bithing and moaning about how much pervs guys are and after reading this one, now i know they are damn dirty hypocrites.
4)Not all girls masturbate...we just don't and no we are not lying.
Yes, and Opera is not a man. Bullshit. just dont wanna sound slutty.
5)We hate porn.
Then why do you insist on setting up a camera in the bedroom?
6)Hmmmm...guys in Jeeps...Yumm
If I had 15,000 dollars for a car, and i saw a jeep in the lot, id go for the F-350.
7)Girls need food, water, and compliments to survive.
No, girls need food, water, and a mouth full of nuts to survive.
***8)We think about you all the time.
Me or Joey, thats right i know he banged you like a nail. or maybe those shoes you saw at J.C. Penney's. Or maybe whats going to happen on the OC tonight.
***9)Being able to make us laugh is so much more important than how much you can bench-press.
I can make you laugh, I have a sence of humor, so why do you insist on the school team quarterback instead. After all, we lost states. He is a failure.
10)We may think you are gay if you wear tighty-whities on a regular basis.
Tighty-whiteys, are you in 3rd grade? oh yea, you try to keep the baby look so you seem less whore like.
***11)Hold our hand.
No.
12)No backseat drivers...NONE
Like we would let you drive. A female behind a wheel is a death wish. when we say, "Swerve", that is because your in the wrong lane with a semi comming at us.
***13)Girls generally don't like giving head, so you better be ready to reciprocate if and when you get it.
Ok, I can settle for sex.
14)We are not your all-night restaurant.
Oh, but come on, its good practice for when you marry the high school jock who treats you like garbage.
15)Anything we say or do during that 4 days to a week each month cannot be held against us.
Ok, so when we come home from a night of drinking, anything we say or do can not be held against us. PMS is no excuse.
***16)If you hold our hand while you are driving we will be thoroughly impressed...especially if it's a stick.
Again, No.
17)Under no circumstances will we have a threesome.
But if there was anouther guy involved, you would think different.
***18)You look hot in hooded articles of clothing.
Hoodies suck. whats wrong with my flannel jacket? its more comfurtable.
***19)If you think for any reason that we don't like you then we probably don't.
Holy Christ on a stick, no shit. way not to be happy with what you have.
20)Having us over while you and your friends play video games does not count as "quality time".
We have anouther controller, join in. Also when we go to your house and all your friends are there watching some gay Julia Roberts movie, that aint quality time either.
21)Just because we groom ourselves on a regular basis does not mean we're high maintanance.
So does that mean we are low Maintanance?
***22)Never comment on how much a girl eats...Ever
If they eat alot, its a compliment. When I eat a whole pizza, i want my friends to be proud of me. Also if you eat a little, we will be more than happy to finish it. but if it is salad, way to go you, you have an eating dissorder.
***23)Keep in mind that we withold sex when we're mad at you, so you might wanna get around to apologizing...
So the lady is never the wrong one, ok, i see how it is. Be an arragant bitch, your sister did not hold back.
24)You just can't force us to like sports...especially those associated with the WWE.
We like sports because females do not. it makes them go away when we dont want to be distracted. Also that assumes that all men like the WWE, bit sweaty men in speedos are not our thing.
25)We're typically smarter than you...so get over it and stop whining when we get better grades than you.
Remember the time you put the turkey in the dishwasher? Who is smarter now? and if you are not blonde, you have no excuse.
26)If you do not own a wife-beater, stop reading this list, and go invest in one...right now.
listen to the word, wife-beater. Need i saw more?
27)The ability to play the guitar will help you get laid.
If you play guitar to impress the girl, sell it to someone who actually plays for the music.
28)We're sorry, Brad Pitt just IS hot...get over it
So isn't your sister, get over it.
***29)Walks in the rain, kisses on the forehead, and cooking dinner for us will get you everywhere.
To wet, waste of time, and cooking dinner, I dont mind cooking but dont take advantage of it, i cook and eat to live, not to make your ass fatter.
***30)Just because we're in a serious relationship doesn't mean we plan to marry you someday, so stop being so damn scared
Skank.
***31)If you're developing such good finger skills playing video games, you better put them to good use sometimes.
Skank.
***32)Anything you do or say to another girl that you wouldn't want us to know about is considered cheating.
Don't tell me your innocent.
***33)If we can admit that we're wrong, you'd better be able to do the same.
Female, admit they are wrong. we have nothing to worry about. also refer to #23.
***34)The excuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable...we'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying.
Maybe we can, ever consider the fact we dont want to?
***35)On that note, if you refuse to dance, expect us to dance with other guys...and lots of them.
Sure, just because we dont know how to dance is the reason you dont want us. If your gonna be so shallow minded, we dont want you.
36)Think before you speak...it'll make a world of difference.
Refere to #1. sure, and you saying you hate my friends cause they are fat and bald makes feel better.
37)Not all girls kiss on the first date, get over it...we're creatures of mystery.
You got that right.
***38)Make fun of our clothes...prepare to die.
You made fun of my AC/DC shirt, why cant I make fun of your Banana Republic shirt. Bananas are funny.
***39)We don't always expect you to pay for us, but it doesn't hurt to at least offer everyone once in a while.
We don't want to pay for everything. So it works out fine.
***40)Tell us we're beautiful.
Then you feel like your babying you so you go for the womanizer that says it by smakking your ass. I got it.
***41)The "little things" in a relationship are really the biggest.
I wouldn't consider sex a "little thing".
42)Foreplay isn't something we should have to ask for...it's a prerequisite.
Skank.
***43)DONT SCREW US OVER...especially if we have an older brother or protective guy friends...they will hunt you down and kill you.
ah, yes. The protective Ex that still wants you back because he has a case of the blueballs. Not all men are like you. we dont all cheat. and if you screw us over, you dont see my older sister killing you.
***44)If you're gonna look at other girls, at least make sure we don't see you do it.
...or tell you that we went to the strip club, got it.
***45)Just because we're still just "hanging out" doesn't make it ok to sleep with your ex-girlfriend, friend with benefits, etc.
Why? Jelous?
***46)No girl just wants to be your "friend with benefits".
Instead you want us to be your "other" boyfriend that John does not know about.
***47)We're sensitive too...be gentle (and we're not talking about our hearts here guys).
Wrong, you like it rough, raunchy, raw. who are you kidding?
48)One word when it comes to smoking...quit.
Yet you smoke 2 packs a day.
***49)We reserve the right to hate all of your ex-girlfriends.
What if our Ex happens to have been a nice catholic girl who we broke up because it was just not working out. the relationship was not about sex, it was about love. SO GET OVER IT!.
***50)If we happen to trip, fall, etc, while wearing the exceptionally high shoes that we love, go ahead and laugh...we will be...that is unless we hurt ourselves...
Im sorry, It is human nature to laugh at other's injurys. nothing we can do about that.
Who ever wrote this is a slut and I hope she falls off a bridge.
User Reviews
Submitted by BlinkSparky (user info) at 2004-10-20 06:51:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i laughed...but man thats no way to get pussy...
Submitted by holymother (user info) at 2004-10-20 06:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
made no sense and was wank!
Submitted by Goulash (user info) at 2004-10-20 06:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fair enough
Submitted by tj <asd.at.aol.com> at 2004-10-17 17:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2004-07-22 01:57:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for making me laugh a few times at this piece of shit.
Submitted by 01011010 (user info) at 2004-07-22 01:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Something about flannel...after I read that, I scrolled down to see the comments...so here's +1.
Submitted by Jerry at 2004-07-22 01:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Guess I know which guy isn't getting any. =)
Submitted by Chloe at 2004-07-21 23:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Amen to that!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-21 23:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
go get kidney stones.
Submitted by Alex <Alex_Sheid_72.at.earthlink.net> at 2004-07-21 23:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You kow, I am not a Gay man, and I'm not a pussy, but I have to agree with Chloe. This was kind of vulgar. Make it funny, not mean. Then i'll read it.
Submitted by Chloe <bibid.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-07-21 23:52:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh yeah, and someone named "supreme being" said they agreed. Supremme being my ass.
Submitted by Chloe <bibid.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-07-21 23:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you know, i know at leats two girls who dont masturbate. why cant we just get along? we all have our issues with eachother. why couldnt you make light of it, instead if being downright mean. and for gods sake! take a frickin writing class!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-26 10:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Me <My.at.email.com> at 2004-04-30 00:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh....
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2004-04-20 20:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I tend to agree with most of the original statements.
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-04-08 06:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
NOT SHORT.
NOT FUNNY.
NOT ORIGINAL.
NOT WORTH SCROLLING THROUGH.
Malone
Lucifer Industries LLC
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-04-08 03:52:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bullshit. I wouldn't have minded it being a blatant copy of somebody's work if it had been half decent.
But it's not, so I do.
-2
Submitted by Cheeba_puff (user info) at 2004-04-08 03:20:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
funny in spots.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-04-07 22:43:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And I thought Rwanda was poor.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-07 22:05:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AlwaysAnEagle
----------------
what she said
Submitted by Supremebeing (user info) at 2004-04-07 22:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
BRAVO! So true alot of it is!
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2004-04-07 21:53:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
aweful
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-04-07 21:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny responses, similar to what I would have written. Bad grammar (I almost had to decipher it), but funny still. And I won't take off points for being unoriginal, since you already said it was done, saving you points for plagiarism.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-07 21:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS kind of crappy list is why guys think women are evil. I like sports, I take care of myself, I cook for my boyfriends happily, I don't have the urge to hold grudges until the end of the world comes around. I do have a shoe collection that is admittedly out of hand, but I lend out shoes and am not psychotic about it. I really don't care about your bodily emissions as long as you can contain yourself when we're somewhere nice or meeting someone important. I don't really give a shit about video games, but I'm fine with you playing them. I'm a big supporter of "guy time" because frankly, I don't want to be around you 24/7 like you're some kind of third arm, and I want to go out with my girl friends. What is it that prompts other women to behave like...well...like this list? God, sometimes women suck. Or should I say, girls, because no self respecting woman would produce crap like this.
------------------------------------------------------------------
AlwaysanEagle is a girl?
We really need to update the uberdirectory.
Submitted by UltraJesus4000 (user info) at 2004-04-07 20:36:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"12)No backseat drivers...NONE
Like we would let you drive. A female behind a wheel is a death wish. when we say, "Swerve", that is because your in the wrong lane with a semi comming at us. "
Here here.
Submitted by Caldur (user info) at 2004-04-07 18:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would almost believe my ex wrote this ::shudder:: Evil banshee she-devil.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-04-07 18:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS kind of crappy list is why guys think women are evil. I like sports, I take care of myself, I cook for my boyfriends happily, I don't have the urge to hold grudges until the end of the world comes around. I do have a shoe collection that is admittedly out of hand, but I lend out shoes and am not psychotic about it. I really don't care about your bodily emissions as long as you can contain yourself when we're somewhere nice or meeting someone important. I don't really give a shit about video games, but I'm fine with you playing them. I'm a big supporter of "guy time" because frankly, I don't want to be around you 24/7 like you're some kind of third arm, and I want to go out with my girl friends. What is it that prompts other women to behave like...well...like this list? God, sometimes women suck. Or should I say, girls, because no self respecting woman would produce crap like this.
Submitted by ewlong3 (user info) at 2004-04-07 17:15:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 just because I'm single again, and this list made me laugh at the stupidity of some girls ive dated.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-07 17:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I know girls who masturbate more then me. And thats saying something.
-1 Unoriginal
-1 Not funny
-1 For making have to read this shit
Submitted by PunkKid420 (user info) at 2004-04-07 17:03:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL thats hella funny the person who wrote the original must have been some femenist or something because theres no law that says no girls like sports, video games, masturbating, laughing at people, and all that other crap lol
Submitted by Al_Queda (user info) at 2004-04-07 17:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-04-05 16:00:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-04-05 15:40:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
my ratings are turned off so I can't -2 you, but you're a stoopid fucking nigger/kike/arab fuckhead/muslim cocksucker/asian small cocked civic driving fuck face coke dealer/severly handicapped bed shitting cunt/mexican child rapist/brazillian fucking inbred slut.
Meh, you're just a fucking pile of streetjerk.
I FUCKED YOUR MOM
Submitted by nrlarn395 (user info) at 2004-04-07 16:56:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That sucked
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-07 16:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This is pretty bad.
Reading it is like teaching a retard how to read braile.
Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-04-07 16:42:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Not sure if your just stupid or trying to be ironic but its spelled grammar speed racer.
Submitted by crackergirl (user info) at 2004-04-07 16:42:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoever wrote the original list is a needy, judgmental whore. Some girls like masturbating. Some like giving head. Some like playing video games. Some like sports. Some like to point and laugh at people who fall down, and fully expect to get laughed at if the tables are turned.
But I think most guys know this list is shit.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-04-07 16:42:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
at.aol.com might explain this...
Anyways, maddox would have done it better.
Forgot the -2...
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-07 16:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This sucked.
If average males think like this, no wonder I never had a problem getting a girlfriend.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-04-07 16:41:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
at.aol.com might explain this...
Anyways, maddox would have done it better.
Submitted by kilgore_trout (user info) at 2004-04-07 16:41:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
***38)Make fun of our clothes...prepare to die.
You made fun of my AC/DC shirt, why cant I make fun of your Banana Republic shirt. Bananas are funny.
That saved you from a -1.
Submitted by Hader (user info) at 2004-04-07 16:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I will say that a lot of girls generally suck. They bitch and can be the biggest hypocrites. I know, I AM a girl. (but I try to be as "non-girly" as possible, if that makes sense) But this could've been better/funnier if you didn't list so many and went further into your comebacks. Anywho, a goose egg for not completely sucking, but not being the kicker of all ass. Good day sir.
Submitted by speeddaimon (user info) at 2004-04-07 16:33:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
apparently someone missed every class on spelling, grammer, and proofreading that their middle school offered.
It could have been a lot better.
Submitted by iamhewhoisnot (user info) at 2004-04-07 16:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2004-04-07 16:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for playing the maddox card