Curiouser and Curiouser (446 hits)
Category: UberMadness! EntryRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Turtle (View user info) at 2004-04-11 15:44:57 EDT
This post was an official UberMadness! entry. Click here to view the original matchup.
Curiouser & Curiouser
The sign above the door to the shop read "Curios and Curiosities".
"Tourist trap" Jim muttered under his breath. He had been in Cairo long enough to know to fear the strong winds. Jim didn't have many options as the dust storm was only minutes from blowing over the village. A brass door bell rang above his head as ducked inside and pulled the door shut behind him. He dusted off his shoulders and was greeted almost instantly by a small, angular man sporting an extensive handlebar moustache. He stepped deeper into the shop and stumbled as he almost tripped over a cat.
"Welcome Effendi, to my fine shop. My apologies for the cat, it is my daughters and is always getting under foot. What might I interest you in today?" asked the shopkeeper in heavily accented English.
"Shelter for the moment, but I am not sure I am interested in your wares, that is, unless..." Jim deliberately trailed off allowing the shopkeeper to start his spiel.
"No, no, no, no, good sir, I see that you are not the ordinary desert explorer, you are a man of obvious tastes and intelligence. No mere street wares for you. Felicia, come down here and mind the store while I show this gentleman our finer wares."
"Yes father." Felicia purred as she sauntered down the stairs. Her raven black hair pulled back with an ivory cat's head. Her emerald eyes sparkled when she smiled at Jim and bowed her head ever so slightly as she passed.
"Come, come, good sir, follow me please." The merchant beckoned.
Jim followed the funny little man through the maze of shelves to a beaded curtain drawn over the doorway.
"This way please," said the merchant as he beckoned Jim down a short flight of stairs, "we are almost there. I keep the really old stuff back here protected from the weather and from thieves. I have spent a lot of time in the desert and I have found many ruins. I recovered many, many, artifacts."
"Would you be able to take me to these ruins? Archaeology has been a fascination of mine since Oxford. I have not had much luck finding anything that hasn't already been found, defaced, or picked clean. I fear that my trip to Egypt has been a grand waste of time."
"It is hard to find reliable guides, the shifting sands hide so much from us, I usually have my best luck right after a storm."
"Do you think that the storm outside right now revealed anything new?"
"Doubtful, the big storms that can whip the sand fast enough to flay the skin from your bones are the best bet. The entire landscape is changed after a sirocco like that."
Jim paused as he followed the shopkeeper down into the central vault. A peculiar looking box had caught his attention. It was partially hidden by a small sarcophagus, but he could see some faint hieroglyphics and part of an animal engraved into the sides.
"Wait, wait, I would like to examine that box back there."
"Yes, yes just a moment, let me clear the way."
The shopkeeper wrestled the sarcophagus out of the way and dragged the heavy box out of the alcove and into the hall. The stone box was bound in copper and bronze and had the same series of Egyptian pictographs repeated over and over again on every side. Every corner of the box had the image of a cat sitting in wait, while the lid of the box was fashioned after a cat's head.
"Curiouser and curiouser!" exclaimed Jim, quoting Carroll's heroine as he reached to open the box, "I wonder what's inside."
The shopkeeper slapped Jim's hand from the box with unexpected speed.
"NO!" he shouted forcefully, "You must never open the box, it is Cursed."
"Cursed?"
"Yes, my good man, Cursed!" again he emphasized cursed with a capital C.
"What do you mean Cursed?" Jim asked incredulously.
"I do not know the exact curse, but from the few I can make out on this box, is that it is holy to the goddess Bast. There were many cat statues when I found this box, and it was alone on the pedestal. I suspect that it may have been some great pharaoh's favorite pet."
"This chest is fascinating, what would you be willing to accept for it?" Jim asked.
The shopkeepers eyes lit up as his favorite part of the sale began...the haggle.
Felicia smiled as she overheard snippets of her father and the man as they argued over price
"I could never part with such a rare and valuable treasure..."
"Rare and valuable, bah you said it was Cursed, I'll give you..."
She smiled again as the Englishman offered a paltry sum.
"Cursed makes it worth more, no artifact is authentic without a curse..."
The winds blew and dust drifted throughout the alleys and streets.
-----
Jenkins, the museum curator, looked over the box and scribbled down a few more notes as he referenced another text cross referencing the glyphs. He constantly shifted his glasses back up his nose and ran a hand through his grey thinning hair. Jim stood off to the side and waited patiently for his assessment.
"I can tell you this, it is definitely from the age of the pyramids, but it is so well preserved. I would have expected much more tarnish and corrosion of the metals. You say this was the only piece you were able to get?"
"Yeah a sand storm was coming and I barely made it out of the desert alive," Jim lied. "I tried to find the site again but it was swallowed by the sands."
"Have you opened it?"
"No, I didn't want to open it, just in case it was Cursed."
"Cursed? Don't be so superstitious and juvenile. Curses were just made up to keep grave robbers away."
"What about that Carter fellow who found Tutankhamen's tomb, didn't he die horribly due to a curse?"
"That was Carnavon, not Carter, and it wasn't a curse, it was one of those damnable Nile mosquitoes that got him."
"Either way, Cursed or not, I rather not risk it."
"Once I am done examining it, I will recommend it goes on display at the museum."
"I look forward to reading your report Jenkins, I will see you in a few days."
"Mmmhmm," Jenkins muttered to himself already once again lost in his work.
Jenkins refilled his oil lamp and continued working late into the night. He laughed as he translated the next to last glyph. The chest was definitely a relic of the cat goddess and must have had great significance to her cult or followers. He turned to grab his mug and accidentally knocked it to the floor where it shattered.
"Cursed indeed," he chuckled and bent to pick up the pieces of his carelessness.
He heard a rustle and then a muffled 'Meow'. He looked around and wondered how a cat could have wandered into the museum. He looked at the box and heard the meow again and another set of rustling noises. Jenkins felt his heart thudding in his throat as he stepped closer to the box. He reached out gingerly and touched the top of the box. The cold stone and metal felt gritty under his palm.
"I must be tired, now I am hearing things." Jenkins said aloud.
"Meow?" sounded from inside the box.
"What the devil?" Jenkins exclaimed, startled, he pulled away from the box. His hand caught in the mouth shaped latch and the box sprung open.
Jim returned to the museum the next day, Jenkins assistant had sent a driver over and insisted the matter was urgent. Jim arrived to find a flustered Mr.Abernathy fretting, fussing and pacing like mad.
"It's like he just disappeared Jim, I never saw him leave, and his wife said he never made it home. I came down here looking for him and all I found were his coat, glasses and these notes in Latin. There was also a shattered mug."
"Let me see those, please."
Mr. Abernathy handed Jim the sheet of paper and he examined the 6 words written in Jenkins flowing script:
Curiositas Interfectus Felixus
Saturo Redux Recessus
Jim studied the words over and over again. Something about the words caught his mind but he couldn't quite get it figured out. Lost in thought he never noticed the cat rubbing up against his legs until Mr. Abernathy said something.
"It looks as if you've brought a friend sir"
"What? That's not my cat, it must be Jenkins." The cat wandered from Jim to Mr. Abernathy and purred. Not being able to resist the fuzzy charms, Mr. Abernathy scooped the cat up into his arms and started to pet it.
"Well now if it is Mr. Jenkins cat, I have never seen it before, it must be a stray, I will take it home to mother, she just adores cats, spoils them rotten she does."
"Did Jenkins leave any other notes?"
"Yes sir he did, in that pile there."
"Tell Jenkins when he comes back that I decided not to let the box into the museums collection just yet, if he wants to look at it more I will have it at my house."
"Yes sir." Mr. Abernathy cuddled the cat close and stroked its ears, "I'll make arrangements to have it delivered to you this afternoon. If you see Jenkins, make sure he contacts his wife, she is worried sick over him. It's not like him to just up and vanish."
"Who knows, maybe he stopped off for a pint or two on the way home."
"Doubtful sir, Mr. Jenkins is not a drinking man sir."
"If I see him I will let him know."
"Thank you, sir."
Jim tucked Jenkins notes into his coat pocket and went back to his estate. The crate was delivered as promised. Jim had them carry it upstairs and placed it in his trophy room amongst the other strange and weird artifacts and devices he had amassed during his travels. He debated with himself for many months before he uncrated the box and put it on a pedestal surrounded with other pieces of ancient Egypt.
-----
"Master Hildebrand, do tell us the story of your most curious box," chided a grey haired guest of the party.
Jim looked over at Mr. Torrance and rolled his eyes. It was the same request every year at his Explorer's Club party for the last four decades since he returned from Egypt, someone would ask him to tell the tale of the box. He never truly tired of telling the tale of his find, and each year he added a new embellishment to the tale. No one wanted to hear how he got caught in a dust storm and found this box in a curio shop. They wanted grand adventure. Jim indulged them.
He told a tale of wandering the desert for weeks on end. His caravan raided by desert marauders. He wove a verbal tapestry and recounted how he rescued the princess Felicia and how they found romance amongst the ruins where they found the box. He wept when he told the tragic tale of the Curse and her mysterious disappearance. He read the Latin words that Jenkins had written before his equally enigmatic exit from society. He added cloaked figures that he thwarted during multiple attempts to steal the box from his possession during his years of guardianship. He drew his tale to a close and thanked his guests for attending his party once again and bowed when they clapped and cheered.
"Master Hildebrand, did you ever open the box?" a curious raven haired young lady asked from the back of the room.
"Never a once my dear, it is Cursed you know," Jim chuckled.
The crowd laughed again as they politely indulged the old man's fancy.
The night drew on and his guests left for their hotels and homes, and Jim found himself alone in front of the box. The fire flickered and cast a dancing shadow over the box and it seemed for a moment that the feline face winked at him. At that moment Jim heard a cat's meow from the box.
"What the devil," Jim jumped a bit quite startled, he stepped away and the box returned to looking as it had looked since he first laid eyes on it. "My old eyes and ears must be playing tricks on me."
Jim felt a bit light headed, and couldn't feel anything in his left arm. A sharp pain in his chest focused him and he fumbled for the phone. He called 911 and told them he thought he was having a heart attack. The operator assured him an ambulance was on the way and Jim dropped the phone.
"They won't make it in time," he thought to himself as another tight pain gripped his chest. "I may as well see what's inside the box." He reached his hand inside the mouth and pressed the hidden latch. The top of the box yawned wide open and Jim found himself staring deep within the maw of the cat's mouth. The box contained only blackness so deep direct light could not illuminate past the edge. He fell forward and grabbed the box for support but instead fell headfirst inside. The mouth of the box closed behind him and a short time later reopened. A small kitten rolled out and started grooming itself on the floor. It paused and looked at the box and bowed his head ever so slightly as if they now shared a secret of the universe.
-----
"Lot number 525," the auctioneer at Sotheby's called "An Egyptian ossuary from the altar of Bast, rumored to carry a Curse, it has been authenticated and certified by Felicia ibn Felizar from our Cairo office." A beautiful young woman stood, her raven black hair pulled back with an ivory cat's head. Her emerald eyes sparkled when she smiled at the audience and bowed ever so slightly before she returned to her seat.
"Curiouser and curiouser," Anne whispered to her husband Robert, "I wonder what's so special about that box, buy it for me darling."
"Yes dear," Robert rolled his eyes. Ever since she audited that course at Harvard she dragged him out to these things. It was better to indulge her curiosities than to listen to her whine.
"Opening bid on lot 525 is set at one hundred thousand pounds," was announced.
"One hundred thousand," Robert bid. Anne smiled and was very pleased she wanted to know what was in the box. A cat's meow softly floated through the room.
-Fin
***Author's note, the Latin used was exceptionally poor my apologies to any purists of a dead language that no one speaks***
Curiositas Interfectus Felixus
Saturo Redux Recessus
Curiousity Killed the Cat
Satisfaction Brought him Back
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Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-05-19 17:39:06 EDT (#)
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