Here they come (1192 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.64 on 72 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Madness 2004 (View user info) at 2004-04-11 22:00:15 EDT
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Entry 1
Friday, 600 hours"!gnimocnI"
Without warning, the pile of rumble and earth beneath Private Richard Trout was swallowed up in a thorny blooming detonation of smoke and flame. He was thrown to his feet. Then the tangled ground underfoot combed itself smooth and the sizzling flower shrank and, in the blink of an eye, it became nothing but an innocuous bud of steel and plastic.
Private Trout backed down into the trench and awaited the orders to advance. All around him comrades fell down or climbed to their feet. Metal helmets clamored and rang up onto the heads of their owners. Bullets whistled across the sky back to the rifles that sent them. Intermittent flashes of loud light and hot noise became cold hard cans, crawling up into the bellies of airplanes dancing in the clouds.
Next to Private Trout a still man began moving ever so slightly. The thick red pool on his chest soaked back into his shirt. His eyes became lucid with some unspoken apprehensive comprehension. A surgeon came and the still man's deep lacerations sewed themselves up beneath the scalpel.
Amid the smells of morning, decanted in sulfur and copper, a rooster reneged on his summons and while the sun set, the stars slowly came out.
...
"Alright now, hold on here. What's all this about bombs unexploding and the dead waking? Well...I will try to explain...but you must be patient.
My name is Richard Trout and I was born sometime in my own future...well, what you'd call the future anyway. I guess you would say that I'm living backwards through my life.
That must sound a little strange to you: undeniably odd and utterly impossible. Well, let me try to delve a little deeper here. You are drawn towards a conclusion are you not? Time pulls you along to the place where a river empties to the sea, to an end, to where all the strands and knots finally meet and weave that eventual textile of experience.
I am swimming against those currents (though I sacrifice no effort on my behalf). I unravel the threads of my loom and follow them down to their beginnings.
I suppose you might think I'm pulling your leg, or your leg is pulling me...or would it be pushing...?
But no! I am serious! I know it is hard to grasp the idea, but for me it is as easy as living your life forwards is for you. It is how I have always lived, the only way I know how.
But the strange part (yes, the strange part) is that I know what will happen to me. That is to say I have what you would call a memory; a premory I like to call it. I do not know what will happen in what you call the future (what I call the past) but I know what will happen in the past (what you call the future). And I can no more change my future than you can change your past, but my past is unknown to me, just as is your future...got it?
But from here on out, I think I'll play the story in forward-time. Maybe it will save a little confusion from you, though it is only certain to further confuse me, and I may have to interrupt from time to time."
...
Thursday, 800 hours
"Mmmm...I had forgotten we were going to have Denver Omelets today," I think as I shrug the bright sun of the yard from my shoulders for the cool plastic of the mess hall.
Little surprises. Morsels like that tend to slip from memory under the weight of the important things.
I watch the jell-o wobbling in its compartment on my tray. Premory is not dissimilar to that green pear-laden concoction, in its way. I may gaze through it and catch vague outlines of what there is on the other side, but it is hopelessly tinted strange in color and disconnect. Bits of fruit block my view.
But the present, on the other hand, is clear and crisp. It is like the taste of the air, immediate and virgin. I eat my jell-o; it is much more memorable than I remembered. I am lost in my dessert and the sun in the windows. No wonder the rest of the troop calls me the wonderer...or is it wanderer?
I usually sit by myself; today I'm near a window at the far end of the endless, stainless steel mess table. I enjoy reading as I eat (starting at the back of the book, of course). The rest of the company chats, tells stories, or exchanges insults.
"I killed me tree o' dem nasty Germans already..." A gruff and heavy-set infantryman crows.
Ah yes...to kill. It's why I joined up. What greater miracle could there be than to shoot the dead and give them life? I can give birth to platoons on only brass and lead. Only a shot a piece and the lame walk, I jab the blind in the eye and they see, I clap the deaf on the ears and they can hear! It is a glorious thing to be a soldier.
...
"It sounds backwards doesn't it? Well, it is backwards. Of course I know that to you it seems I am doing a great deal of harm. But I am stuck on that path, the path of my premory. Those that are dead to me become alive; I refuse to look at it as anything more than just that. I will not get into the subtleties of eating and drinking or bodily functions; it would be too much for you to handle."
...
Thursday, 730 hours
I sit around awhile listening to the laughter and misery of the troop. They are good men; it is unfortunate that someday I will have to unfriend and unmeet them. But I enjoy it while I can because they seem to enjoy it; life is much richer with them around anyhow.
They sometimes call me a strange fish, and I know I must seem strange to them. I think it may be the stifled satisfaction they sense in me when one of them dies. But I do always think it's nice to get new friends.
I return my full tray to the mess counter, get in line, and I'm off to the latrine.
...
"Freewill has always been a bit problematic for me. My future is set. There are things that I know I will do. I will have a wife. I will have kids. I will be born. For that matter I suppose I must have died too, but I don't know when that was.
Thing is, I don't remember exactly how these things came about. They are waiting for me to get there. I feel like an old screen door, hanging on its hinges. I can whip back and forth, wobble and creak, but I am anchored to my destiny, though I strain on it as I wish. It is confining and liberating at the same time. I do not know that I would prefer to live as you do, in any case."
...
Thursday, 700 hours
My morning toilet is always the same; at least it will be until I turn twenty, twelve years ago. It is predictable. It is the anchor of my day, and yet every time I perform the ritual shaving, shining, and showering, it becomes just a little newer. It always retains its mysteries.
I peer naked into the mirror, healing up some minor shaving cuts with my razor. Several other soldiers are at their morning routine too. We look like I think newborn angels might, all garbed in white towels, clean and shining, and with great beards of wispy white foam.
"Ooh damn, Trout. 'Ats a bleeder." Private Domingo remarks at a cut on my chin.
"Yep, but it'll stop soon enough." I continue the familiar motions of the razor. Two officers are talking about the troop's plans on the other side of the latrine.
"Deployed...tomorrow...reinforcements...heavy fighting...casualties..."
So that is what I did tomorrow. Sounds like it must have been exciting. I wonder if it might have been the day...
Every morning I look in the mirror and wonder what it was I had done that afternoon and evening. My future, as you would call it, is always be just out of my reach and always growing wider. I am optimistic though. I can expect that that which I will never experience will be for the best. So I live in the moment, or relive in the moment, or un-live, whatever you'd like to call it.
...
Thursday, 600 hours
The night air outside the latrine is crisp and abrupt. I stop a moment on my way in for my morning ritual. I give a little thought to the wife and kids I'll meet once the war unwinds -once I un-live enough of it I mean. All the joy awaiting me in my premory. Never mind what might have happened tomorrow. And I always have trouble remembering my dreams.
The morning sun is setting ever so gently. The stars will be out shortly in all their infinity. I never quite remember exactly what they're going to look like. There are just too many to see. Here they come...or there they go...how ever you'd like to see it, I guess.
- VS -
Entry 2
Great warriors say that a battle is often won or lost before it begins. These few last moments are crucial and yet the darkest, like the last waning moment of night just before the sun breaks the horizon to summon the coming day. I stand at the edge of the precipice from which I will command my warriors concentrating on maintaining the outward appearance of calm, confident control. They are my people and because they will follow me to certain death if I demand it, they deserve better than to catch even the briefest glimpse of doubt. They are ready, the battle plan set, the weapons prepared, all that remains to do is wait.I glance down at Yuma, my nephew. Even at his age, I know he senses the tension in the air. He has taken his position slightly behind me and to my left. I know that despite his fierce facial expression and aggressive stance, he is trembling in terror and fighting down the instinct to run back to the village to the safety of his mother's protecting arms. Perhaps bringing him here had been a mistake. His mother was against it, but he and I are the last of our line. Depending on today's outcome, even in the best of circumstances, he may be the last hope of our people. I wanted him to be here to feel this moment so that forever, wherever fate may take him, he will always remember his people at their finest hour and take strength from the fact that he carries within him, the blood of a true warrior.
The distant drum beats change and increase in intensity. I can feel them getting closer. The woods are silent. There are no birds singing, the wind is still, and even the falling water seems muted. I focus outward seeking the spirits of my enemies, searching for a weakness. I hear a series of low whistles as my scouts communicate final adjustments in our battle plan.
"Leave us."
Suddenly, silently, Yuma and I are alone although I know that with a single signal I can summon the return of my protectors, the four Watchers, the ones sworn to stay by my side until the moment my spirit leaves the world. I turn and kneel down to face my nephew. I look into his big, dark, round eyes so very different from my own steel gray eyes. "Yuma I want you to look around very carefully and absorb this moment. Memorize it. Take your time, study every detail. Now close your eyes and picture everything around you, the rocks, the trees, the sky, the water. Do you see it?"
"Yes Aponi, I see it."
"Good, now look at me. There is something I want you to do. Every night before you go to sleep, I want you to close your eyes and return to this place. Try to feel the sun on your face, the grass beneath your feet, the wind blowing through you hair. Do you think you can do that for me?"
The little boy looks confused but nods solemnly, "yes Aponi."
He is so young and yet when I look at him, I see the shadow of his father, my eldest brother Akecheta. Oh Akecheta, what I wouldn't give for you to be here in my place right now, your rightful place. You were the one born to lead our people.
Akecheta was already a man by the time I was born. The marriage of our father and his mother had created an alliance between two of the greatest tribes of the valley that Akecheta's birth had sealed. Two more sons were born of that union, my brothers, Honovi and Mahkah. They were all three trained to be great warriors, rulers, leaders of the people.
Years after the death of my father's first wife he met Anna, my mother. She was a scholar and academic sent from the outside to study our ways. She met and fell in love with my father abandoning the outside world to remain with him in the valley. She was the first person my father had ever met who dared to question his undisputed authority. I was the second.
I was never destined for this moment. I was trained in our ways along with the other children in the village, but I was also taught the ways of my mother's people. I was to be a bridge between the two worlds gliding seamlessly between the two, but at times, with a foot in each world, I felt as though I did not belong to either. I was with my mother's people when word reached me of the raiding parties.
It was a moment I will remember forever. I returned to my rooms after attending my university classes to find Tocho sitting in meditation on the floor beside my bed. My brothers had been killed and my father mortally wounded by the Nukpana. I had never heard of the Nukpana. Tocho told me that they had journeyed to the valley from a place far away seeking fertile land. When they found it occupied, they decided to take it for themselves. It was not necessary, my people would have shared the valley and welcomed the newcomers, but it was not meant to be. The Nukpana did not share.
I returned to the village with Tocho and went to my father. Up until that moment, I had not fully comprehended how I fit in to the new circumstances in which our people found themselves. His dying words will echo through me every day of my life, "My child, Aponi, I fear that I have failed you. I should have prepared you for this. There is no other. You must lead the people, trust in yourself, show no fear."
I had taken the ancient rites of ascension as the last dying embers of my father's funeral pyre smoked and crackled. My mother said nothing, but I could see the fear in her eyes. I had always been indulged and protected. I was my father's pet, a folly of his advanced age, the cherubic toddler chasing after my brothers. This was never meant to be, but the desire of mortals does not control the tide of fate.
I stand up and look down at Yuma. I feel bad about putting so much on someone so young, but at that same time I am sure that one day he will understand. I look into the trees and signal for the return of the Watchers. "Tocho, take the boy back to his mother and stay with them."
Tocho freezes and stares at me in disbelief. I know I am putting him in the position of either questioning a direct order or violating his blood oath to never leave my side. I turn towards him, put my hand on his shoulder, and look him in the eye. "I release you Tocho. Stay with the boy, his safety is vital to the survival of our people. He is more important than any of us. Keep him safe at any cost."
Tocho says nothing, but I can see in his eyes that he hears the truth in my words. I lower my voice so that only Tocho can hear me, "He is very young Tocho, protect his mother if you can, but he is the key. I am trusting you with my family."
I watch as Tocho carefully lifts the boy onto his horse. Yuma has dropped his brave façade and has tears running down his cheeks. Despite his fear, he was prepared to stay and now that he was being sent away, he is awash with both relief and disappointment. I reach up and put my hand on his knee, "Yuma, do whatever Tocho asks, take care of your mother and grandmother, and don't forget what I told you. I promise that we will see each other again."
As Tocho and Yuma ride into the woods, I feel a stirring in the air.
"Aponi, the Nukpana are in the canyon. They have fallen for your trap. It is time."
Entry 1:
bargled
catscradle
Chronic
conrad
Death_Metal_Dude
godking
hcp28
Herpes
iamhewhoisnot
iddqd
jwlmar10
lizadoolittle
NerfHerder
ohlookasquirrel
PinkyG
polyamorousaj
quack
satchel
shark25
SpikeGoddess
T.chow
Titinita
triliad
Trout
wlmk06
Zod
19 eligible votes (26 total) *
Entry 2:
Ainkara
Anjie
antluvdog
beer-turtle
Bigmike
BLITZKREIG_BOB
bob
coley
Deisangua
DraconianKing
fell-8-me
gascs
Heimdallsman
JohnGalt
Judoka
lucid
Method
Mr_Insanity
mystiamoon
Papajoe
Phinch
potatomanjack
Razor
Scott_James
sharpie
SoapyD
speeddaimon
tammy
transcendent
uber_smitty
volklcess
whataefag
William_Q_Percy
WillZone
Yes
32 eligible votes (35 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by tammy (user info) at 2004-04-13 22:36:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-04-13 20:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-04-13 19:59:54 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-04-13 18:13:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jigga wha?
Submitted by godking (user info) at 2004-04-13 16:43:35 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2004-04-13 14:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-13 11:30:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh dammit... why must I choose?
Submitted by Mr_Insanity (user info) at 2004-04-13 10:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by iamhewhoisnot (user info) at 2004-04-13 10:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
both were excellent posts
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-04-13 08:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Someone named Trout and not being constrained by time?
Somebody's been reading their Vonnegut.
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-04-13 08:31:36 EDT (#)
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No Comment
Submitted by Papajoe (user info) at 2004-04-13 02:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-04-13 01:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
number 1 was very original and a really kick ass concept. but it kinda rambled in parts, and didn't really go anywhere. Number two, was solid.
both awesome, but I have to go with 2.
#1 kudos for a great concept.
Submitted by PinkyG (user info) at 2004-04-13 00:11:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-04-12 21:05:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-04-12 20:00:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by author of #1 at 2004-04-12 19:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually johnGalt-
he would know what they were going to say before they said it (because he premembers) and so he would respond before they said it.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-04-12 19:13:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked Entry 1 and it was a very original concept, but I liked Entry 2 a bit better.
Entry 1 also had one flaw with the flow that I noticed. Even though he talked about everything else backwards, the conversation flowed frontwards. Since he can't tell us what is going to happen in our future (his past, but he doesn't "remember" or "premember" or whatever), by the time he heard someone else say something (i.e. The shaving cut conversation) he wouldn't know what it was that he said to them in response. It would have been confusing as hell for the reader the other way around unless it was done very carefully, but it would have been a great way to show what things felt like for the main character.
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2004-04-12 18:23:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-04-12 17:03:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, both of these were really good. Sorry, but I just found the concept of #1 more interesting.
Submitted by uber_smitty (user info) at 2004-04-12 16:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2004-04-12 16:01:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-04-12 15:59:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The future post kinda bugged me.
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-04-12 15:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SoapyD (user info) at 2004-04-12 14:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2004-04-12 14:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by lizadoolittle (user info) at 2004-04-12 14:03:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The fog of war seems to be confusing yet powerful.
Submitted by wlmk06 (user info) at 2004-04-12 13:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-04-12 13:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
number one was just a little too confusing. wouldn't anyone notice that this guy was living his life backwards?
Submitted by Anjie (user info) at 2004-04-12 12:55:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#2 reminded me of the Clan of the Cave Bear Series for some reason..... great writing.
Submitted by whataefag (user info) at 2004-04-12 12:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Both were good, but the first one was too much of a rip off of Joseph Heller meets Vonnegut for me to vote for it.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-04-12 12:01:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-12 11:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Too close for comfort....authors? you sweatin yet?
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-12 11:36:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not dorky at all -
If I have put my post this round up, which I am not saying one way or the other, then I may well also be camping out on mine, which I am not going to confirm or deny.
Submitted by author of #1 at 2004-04-12 11:29:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
razor-
right, like i just said, i switched the time between trout's perspective and reader's perspective halfway through the sentence. i must not have been clear enough.
there are so many implications i would have liked to explore (and did), but i decided to leave out some of the content for the sake of a managable size.
i was fascinated with the thought of someone living backwards.
i wish i would have looked it over again after i edited out some of the stuff (or had a friend do it). a couple places don't flow quite right.
thanks, for the comments though. i'm a huge dork to be camping out on this post here.
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2004-04-12 11:23:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-12 11:20:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I understood perfectly what you were TRYING to say, A#1.
However what you ACTUALLY said was contradictory.
I do not know what will happen in what you call the future (what I call the past) but I know what will happen in the past (what you call the future).
Part 1 of that sentence states he does not know what will happen in what I call the future.
Part 2 of that sentence states he DOES know what will happen in what I call the future.
Having read the whole thing, part 2 is in error. He knows what will happen in his future, what we call the past.
----
By the way, what a horribly agonizing way to live... his memory gets shorter and shorter as he goes on, and how horrific it would be to become a child...
Also he apparently has no "free will".
Submitted by speeddaimon (user info) at 2004-04-12 11:19:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-04-12 11:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Almost too much like Martin Amis's "Time's Arrow" in ethos, but I didn't like 2 very much.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-12 11:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by author of #1 at 2004-04-12 10:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Razor-
"But the strange part (yes, the strange part) is that I know what will happen to me. That is to say I have what you would call a memory; a premory I like to call it. I do not know what will happen in what you call the future (what I call the past) but I know what will happen in the past (what you call the future). And I can no more change my future than you can change your past, but my past is unknown to me, just as is your future...got it?"
this paragraph is supposed to be intentionally confusing. hence the '...got it?'
"but I know what will happen in the past (what you call the future)"
the past is the narrator's future, the future is the reader's past. i switched around the perspective from narrator-time to real-time. maybe i should have been more clear?
not arguing, just trying to get the point across. thanks for the criticism.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-12 10:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is the sentence that undid post 1 for me:
"That is to say I have what you would call a memory; a premory I like to call it. I do not know what will happen in what you call the future (what I call the past) but I know what will happen in the past (what you call the future)."
That does not make any sense at all. He does not know what will happen in what I call the future, but he does know what will happen in what I call the future.
When you're writing "tricky concept" sci-fi, you better make sure you explain it correctly. Did everyone else just gloss over this or what?
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-12 10:43:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2, hands down.
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-04-12 10:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 didn't work for me.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-04-12 10:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
#1 was an awesome concept, although confusing.
Having a soft spot for military fiction, I have no choice but to go with #2.
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-04-12 09:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by author of #1 at 2004-04-12 09:17:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a bunch of you have noted the similarity between my post and vonnegut's slaughter house 5 (i only assume you mean THAT book). the name Trout was definetly an allusion to vonnegut, as was fighting the Germans. if you haven't read SH5, and you enjoyed my post, pick up a copy.
i can't say that SH5's Billy Pilgrim inspired the idea. when i got the title the first thing that popped into my head was 'here they come, there they go'. i just built it out, or up (or sideways?) from there. glad [some of] you liked it.
entry #2 was awesome. i expect this to be very close.
Submitted by catscradle (user info) at 2004-04-12 08:59:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Methinks it interesting that Richard Trout and Kilgore Trout share the same surname..
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-12 08:48:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-04-12 06:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-04-12 04:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravo, bravo!
Once again, two excellent posts. I have to give it to Number 1, because I feel that you really really took a risk with your idea. It wasn't executed perfectly, but it's damned interesting... it makes me thing of Kilgore Trout from "Slaughterhouse 5" especially with the time stuff, but it was definetly your own thing. I really like that you reached for something difficult. It may be just a hair beyond your skills as a writer right now, or it may just need more time and tweaking, but in any case, it's a gem that just needs a bit more polishing before the clarity and facets become aparent.
Post 2, yours was excellent as well, but I had to give it to the idea with more reach.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-12 03:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-04-12 02:59:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2004-04-12 02:23:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by transcendent (user info) at 2004-04-12 01:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-04-12 01:36:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
interesting concept, #1
#2 couldn't grab my attention
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:38:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry one: Trout, Germans/war, moving through time....
Vonnegut fan?
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:26:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
On another note : I do think the concept of #1 was good. I did love the movie Memento. I guess this sort of concept is somehow easier to watch than to read for me
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:23:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
These were both just ok to me. Post #1 was ever so hard to follow, therefore it lost my short attention span several times. Post #2 reminded me too much of a Braveheart type thing, maybe because i just watched that movie last week
Submitted by lizadoolittle (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahhh. I read these both again, and even more comes to me. These are both dealing with such big ideas in similar/dissimilar ways. wow. Reviewing a single (final?) day in the life/or death of a soldier. wow. how we always play tings over in our mind.--I get it-the 600hr Fri, etc is a cool time reference. And Aponi, who has prepared and anticipated. Being prepared. Ready. Wow. Both of you writers doing such powerful battle.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-11 23:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sharpie (user info) at 2004-04-11 23:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by lizadoolittle (user info) at 2004-04-11 23:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow. day after day-destiny or past?
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2004-04-11 22:49:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-04-11 22:44:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by triliad (user info) at 2004-04-11 22:42:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy. Shit. Holy shit.
If 1 was a novel, I'd buy it and read it. 2 was good, but 1...holy shit.
Submitted by Chronic (user info) at 2004-04-11 22:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, this round is great. Another 2 great posts. I have to go with entry 1 because of the Momento style presentation; it was depicted wonderfully. Entry 2 was well written, but it was somewhat convoluted.
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-04-11 22:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-11 22:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked both, so voted randomly.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-04-11 22:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by T.chow (user info) at 2004-04-11 22:03:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
both were very awesome
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2004-04-11 22:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment