When I think back to all the crap I learned in high school.... (1053 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.61 on 53 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Stacey <sschwenck.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-04-11 23:32:56 EDT
So I'm a high school teacher, at least for the time being. Why? Because that's what I fell into. But I think I learn more shit from them than they do from me. It's a small private school, and if I just sit back and listen to what they talk about, it could keep me amused for a while. But as a professional (whatever) I cannot laugh at them or encourage their behavior. So I'm insance because I sit and listen to
"You're a faggot." "Well that's not what your mom said last night."
"Miss Schwenck is my baby's mama" (posted on our school's baseball website)
"Huh huh huh. My icon has tiggum bitties" (posted on the same site as above)
"Miss Schwenck, I got drunk and made out with this fat chick. what do i do?"
"Stink and pink--hahaha. It's when you stick two fingers in their vagina hole and your pinky in their ass"
"Shakka!!!!" (it's the same thing as the above statement)
"Can I eat this? If i do, will I die?" (I teach chemistry) God, I wish they'd eat it.
"Hello, my name is Rick James Bitch"
" Huh huh, give me the unit!...Hahahaha, unit!!!"
"Stop touching my wenis!!!" (that is the extra skin on your elbow)
"Tom's mom's a MILF"
"The waitress at sonny's bbq is hot"
"Fo shizzle my nizzle fish soup poop"
"TEAT!"
(A kid fills a rubber glove with water and holds it up to his balls) "I lost the other one in the war"
"The principal is a faggot. He talkssss like thisssss"
"Ssstop drawing penisssssessss on the board" (A kid's impression of the principal)
"Hit my balls, hit my balls!!!" (As they play some game where they sit on opposite sides of the room with their legs open. Then they slide something back and forth and hit each other in the nuts"
"Good choice, Nigga!!!!" (Dave Chappel)
"MMMMMMMmm kay"
"that's not what Mr. Hat is telling me, Miss Schwenck." Bend over, i'll show you where to put Mr. Hat you little fucking freak.
"I only get in trouble because you single me out" Ok so that has nothing to do with you attempting to crawl around the class on hour stomach?
"You got stink dick from that nasty 'ho-bag'" (something i overheard at the last baseball game).
Kinda puts the whole Chrisitian school thing in a new light, doesn't it? What's even worse is that I think it's funny. Things haven't changed much in 10 years.
User Reviews
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-03-30 12:06:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
cant believe i forgot -2
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-03-30 12:05:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-03-30 12:05:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nigga dis' sheeit be whack
don't make me shank ya bitch
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-03-30 11:42:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what a cunt
Submitted by Kimba (user info) at 2004-04-16 18:34:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This post was somewhat amusing but you really hit a nerve there when you called someone a "lowly waitress." Because she didn't like your post, she's beneath you? You're a bitch.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-04-13 11:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Ok so that has nothing to do with you attempting to crawl around the class on HOUR stomachs."
I sure hope you're not an English teacher.
Ms. Skank, may I eat your ass?
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-04-13 11:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for camping on my post, just because yours sucked.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-13 07:20:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
have this to offset the +1 i gave you earlier. I was temperarily insane.
oh and btw YOU SUCK!!
Submitted by KoolWang (user info) at 2004-04-13 07:03:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm Rick James Bitch.
Submitted by BalloonKnot (user info) at 2004-04-13 06:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ms. Schwenck, may I have sex with you after school?
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-04-12 14:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-12 06:44:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm only giving this +2, because AJ said someone is sounding like a bitch. I'll let you all know when I stop laughing at the irony.
==========
I thought the post was OK, but this comment made me laugh.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-04-12 13:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because your new.
+2 because your a teacher.
+2 because the Uber Elite?? get upset with a lot
of +2 that minimize the importance of rank.
+2 because I liked it.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2004-04-12 13:13:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Mildly amusing.
PS: Queen ashley is an ugly, cunt lapping dyke. No one cares what she says anyway.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-04-12 13:12:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Big talk from the new girl.... There are actually *several* hate posts about me on this site. They all have negative ratings, because they were all written by idiots. Except the one that I wrote, that one's gold.
What, praytell, is "lowly" about being a waitress? Maybey if I were still doing it at 40, I'd see something wrong with it, but at 18, it's really not so bad. In fact, it's great. It gives me the flexibility to be able to work, go to school, and have a social life, I burn tons of calories without having to go to the gym, and I probably make more money than you do. Actually, I think it's one of the better jobs available in this town right now.
Also, "clout" has nothing to do with anything here. If you'd bee nhere for mre than ten seconds, you'd know that, but you haven't. You're brand new and it shows; I suggest you try getting to know the ways of Uber BEFORE you attack established users with veiled threats and cries that you are better than them. Don't try to deny it, because that's exactly what you implied. I think YOU are the one who needs to get a clue (and a life, if me giving you a -2 bothered you *that* much.)
Aside: You claim you're a teacher "for now" because "that's what you fell into." If I'm not mistaken, that's not a job you just "fall into." You have to go to school and get your degree. At least that's what they tell me....
Why can't you be like Kristen? Kristen > you.
Submitted by schwenckie <sschwenck.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-04-12 12:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Queen, or not, I don't wanna know you. And as a lowly waitress, I hardly think that you have any clout saying anything about my post. And I am not the only one to call you a cunt. Hell, there's even a hate link to you on this site. Get a clue, a life, and a real job, bitch. And if you're checking for grammatical errors, here's some....bitch cunt slut ass-eating, bean-flicking dike-ass pussy eater. Are you happy now? Let me post in peace, and I will leave you alone.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-04-12 12:57:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's a sad day at Uber when people rate a post up or down, regardless of whether they liked it or not, according to the comments of a person who didn't even write it. Davy did and and admitted to it, and so did herpes. Guys, seriously. THIS POST SUCKED, regardless of what AJ thought/said about it.
Submitted by Ace (user info) at 2004-04-12 12:07:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, I thought I coined the term ho bag last year. I've never heard or seen anyone else use it. But oh well. This post is funny because its true, so so true. Highschool is sad.
Ya damn skippy.
Submitted by BonesForBucks (user info) at 2004-04-12 07:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A) Paul Simon is great. Splitting with Garfunkel was a good venture for him.
B) This post made me laugh. Some kids...
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-04-12 07:02:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because Queen is having her time of the month on this post.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-04-12 07:02:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because Poly is a dickhole.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-04-12 07:01:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I found it funny.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-12 06:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm only giving this +2, because AJ said someone is sounding like a bitch. I'll let you all know when I stop laughing at the irony.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-04-12 06:04:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well damn Poly, guess I just don't spend enough of my time on Uber to know the originations of each and every post...Somehow, I feel my life is no longer complete...You are correct though, this post does suck, I just rated it high to cancel you, because their isn't anything I hate more than hypocrisy.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-12 03:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by schwenckie (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:11:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwww, Queen Ashley had a rough childhood. Too bad for her.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Er..awesome insult, buddy.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-12 03:18:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Davy-
You are a fucking moron. If you had been paying attention you would have realized that that post is a spoof of two other posts spawned, however incidentally, from "Copy of the transcript;" a complete AOL chatroom conversation. Shut the fuck up, you sound like a bitch.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-12 03:14:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Upon retrospect i realized it sucks. sorry.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-04-12 03:04:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"This was pretty bad. I'm sorry, but taking a bunch of things that the "kids" say and posting it is kind of, "guess you had to be there." It's too cliche. This was pretty weak."
-Poly
Poly, buddy, this link is to your own post, where you do nearly the exact same thing from your own instant message conversations. Lil' hypocritical of you, don't you think jackass?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/30069
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-04-12 02:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't camp Ashlee.
I agree with her though that this post wasn't so very good, but it did remind me of high school oh so many years ago and made me smile. I'm glad kids say the same shit, it makes me feel like I haven't lost that connection. Hell, my friends still say some of that same shit.
Malone <------------ asshat and irregular user
Lucifer Industries LLC
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-04-12 02:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
God, and Shay has officially been replaced.
as posted on shitfuck's post:
*sigh*
Oh, joy. I'm waiting to see half my posts on the MRR list now. Listen, kid. Here's how it is. I don't know you, you are utterly insignifigant to me. I disliked your post, that's the end of that. Since I was the first one to show distaste for it, you probably assume that I'm just a bitch or whatever, but that's not true. I just didn't like your post. The people who did, are, for the most part, asshats anyway. And I garuntee you that if it had been posted tomorrow, when the regular users were up and about, I would not have been the first to give you a negative rating. It just wasn't entertaining. Deal. And now you get another -2 for being a cunt.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-04-12 02:04:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh and Tony... I +2 lots of stuff besides MVA posts. I just thought this sucked. I'm entitled to that opinion. It was riddled with poor spelling, which is pretty sad for a teacher, and it just plain wasn't interesting. Did I mention that you're a douche? Eat me.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-04-12 01:32:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yes. Tony Montana and Draconian King, the epitomies of intellect and class. Except not.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-04-12 01:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Miss Schwenck, I got drunk and made out with this fat chick. what do i do?"
AHAHAHAHAH
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-12 01:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yes, let's make personal comments when someone doesn't like our post. Seriously, look at the +2s you're getting objectively.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-04-12 01:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had a great childhood. That doesn't change the fact that I think this post sucked dick.
Submitted by distressedjester (user info) at 2004-04-12 01:23:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
yeah Tom, that was clever. i think.
"I lost the other one in the war" that made me laugh, dont know why.
Submitted by Confusion (user info) at 2004-04-12 01:17:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-11 23:35:45 (#)
Ranking: 1
My mom is not a MILF thankyou very little.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I laughed out loud.
My god, I laughed out loud.
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:21:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I teach
Submitted by schwenckie (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AJ appears to have had no friends in high school either. Thanks Draconian King. The true intellect is one that can be immature at any time and still work in the education system.
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I sympathize with you and to counter all the naysaying little jackasses who hypocritically rate newbies with zero or negative ratings if they don't produce something of Orwellian talent but then they'll go +2 any and everything written by Bart or some other MVA just on the basis of reputation alone. Polyamorasaja, QueenSkank...go fuck yourself. This Rocked.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hopefully he never made it to college chemistry though, now that we are dealing with volatile, poisonous ethers and cancer suspect chlorinated solvents.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:11:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
High school chemistry stories need to end with injury to appeal to me. Some little shit at my school tried to steal some sodium from class because he at least remembered how reactive it is with water. But that is all the thinking he did, because he shoved that pure sodium into his pocket, and during the walk home on that hot, sweaty day, he learned that sweat has quite a bit of water in it when he lost some skin. His mom even tried to sue the school.
Ah, sweet justice.
Submitted by schwenckie (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:11:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwww, Queen Ashley had a rough childhood. Too bad for her
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:10:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stay puft.
I mean positive!
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stay positive!
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm gonna keep this positive!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was pretty bad. I'm sorry, but taking a bunch of things that the "kids" say and posting it is kind of, "guess you had to be there." It's too cliche. This was pretty weak.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-04-12 00:03:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why does this have a positive rating?
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-04-11 23:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha, I said lots of the same shit back in highschool. Know what's sad? I work at a college and I overhear them talk, and they say exactly the same stuff. Hell, some kid handed out print-outs of a picture of Rick James and the words "I'm Rick James, Bitch!"
Submitted by schwenckie (user info) at 2004-04-11 23:53:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry tom, i didnt mean your mom. Oh god, i sound like them..."you're MOM!!!"
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-11 23:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by MIll8178 (user info) at 2004-04-11 23:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's a wonder I can think at all.
And though my lack of education hasn't hurt me none
I can read the writing on the wall.
AHHHHHHHHHH Fuck! I'm singing a Paul Simon song!
+2 for the quotes, -1 for getting Paul Simon's "Kodachrome" stuck in my head
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-11 23:36:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So very true.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-11 23:35:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My mom is not a MILF thankyou very little.