Part #1 of The Cougar Triology. (733 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1 on 2 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fevdogg <Johnny.Teolis.at.abnamro.com> at 2001-08-21 14:21:17 EDT
Okay so we start this adventure with our dorky do-gooder (me) at a Wine + Cheese Party being hosted by a girl in 3rd year Classics class that I had tremendous sexual tension with. So I am completely out of place @ this party.
I only knew sexual tension girl. Well, I bump into (no, not literally for once) into this girl with a cool black skirt and the gnarliest hair I've perhaps ever seen! It was short but like flared out, I don't know how she did it but it was awesome! So we're talking at times intensely, but then comes the downer...she asks me how old I am and say 20 and she was not impressed! I ask her how old she is and when she says 24 I'm ready to pretty much walk and away and well she kinda does. I don't get too choked up the girl was 24 I reason with myself.
As the nite goes on I proceed to enter the dance floor. Some good music comes on like the Stones I enjoy get into it, whatever. Then, somebody turns Salsa music I take this as my exit que and I'm like "screw this I don't do salsa."
But as I disembark the dance floor skirt-girl starts dancing at me and I quickly decide to remain in the very spot I was standing. She asks me if I'd like to Salsa dance and I tell her I don't know how to and she replies "I'll teach you." So I oblige. You guys know me very well I can barely walk let alone dance I foresaw this girl get frustrated after 5 minutes, but she did not. I literally was getting every move wrong, but she kept telling me over and over what to do. After over 20 minutes of this I start to wonder to myself "Why the heck is this girl, trying show hard to teach me? I'm so very hopeless!" But then I thought there might be an ulterior motive and when I looked at her with this thought her eyes gave me a message "Congratulations you finally figured it out retard!" And as luck would have it some slow songs started to be played and even better ones that I new.
So I started dancing close to her and she danced closer. And then she asks in a very confused voice "How old are you again?" now I must warn my readers that this was a loaded question. She no doubt remembered and realized I was much younger than her she just wanted to find out how bad the news was and if it proper to go for me. I realized this right away and with some of what I thought was quick I respond "20, but it's not my fault!" At first she is taken back, but then I guess in her mind decides to give me a try. She signals in a way that she wants me to kiss her. I try to give the message that I'm down with that in public, let alone Sexual Tension's party!
So I kiss her on the neck and show sort of give off the signal that nothing more would be given at this location, not that I expected more, in fact at this point I was hoping to get a phone number and call it a night, but she didn't see the night unfolding as did I.
I embark on what I think is a journey that will end walking here home, but it is at this point where this started to get confusing. I walk her home expecting to wake by the door for a phone number or something, but if I had I would've been waiting there for quite a while. Before I even get through the door she starts running up the stairs. I stand puzzled at the door and all she says is "C'mon!" So I do I follow her into her room she closes the door at puts on some weird acid jazz music.
Now you gotta remember I don't even think we've kissed yet. But she still proceeds to talk off her skirt (I soon found out that was all she had to take off) and her shirt. I ask her "That was a little fast, I didn't even get to have any part in that." She simply replies "Sorry, too late!" Then I kiss her as does she me, and dude and dudette it was sloppy I was kinda disappointed! To be continued...
User Reviews
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-08-27 08:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought I would delve back into the history of uber to see all the quality posts there were in the old days before all us peasants arrived and made it rubbish.
Submitted by Tastycat (user info) at 2004-04-02 01:08:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I randomly entered a number, and I came up with this shit. What the fuck is this?