my teacher thinks I am an anti-semite (510 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.56 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by jonkem.at.yahoo.com (View user info) at 2004-04-13 15:10:39 EDT
I'm in this one Jewish film class, three hours long with too many idiots who ask too many stupid questions. Anyway, yesterday before class I had an undercooked, yet deliciously moist chicken breast for dinner. A few hours later in class, that shit fucked my stomach up. I had that kind of intense gas where you gotta squirm around in your chair and squeeze your butt cheeks so that it won't get away from you. This gas just had too much rectal pressure for me to try and go for the silent release. Plus these were diarrhea farts so I knew they were gonna smell like ass, and I don't have a very good poker face when it comes to the covert flatulence. After what must have been around my 10th repressed fart, I thought about what would happen if I actually let one rip in the middle class, and the thought of it made me let out one of those muffled laughs from the back of your nasal passages. However, that laugh came out the very moment after my teacher had just said "the first generation of Jews that came to America usually worked in sweatshops." . . . . She gave me the evil eye of DEATH for like 2 seconds as she kept lecturing, and a few other dipshits turned around and stared at me for a while. OMFG.
I have to turn in an assignment at her office tomorrow, so I'm trying to think of what I could possibly tell her that would leave her convinced that I'm not a Jew-hater and I don't find the idea of Jews in America working in sweatshops funny, although it is a little humorously ironic. Anyone have any suggestions?
User Reviews
Submitted by Despiadado (user info) at 2004-04-13 22:53:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why don't you just write the assignment with an anti-semetic slant? She can't fail you for your opinions.
Submitted by jonkemROCKS! at 2004-04-13 18:05:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHHAHAH JEWS! working in sweatshops? No wonder they like to keep all their money stashed behind the living room cabinet!
I also like the point of yr story....wait there was no point....eat shit you idiot!
-4!
BOCCE LIFE YE YEEE!
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-13 16:37:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jewish film class?
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2004-04-13 16:29:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your scatologic story had me laughing.
Tell her the truth, my friend.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-04-13 15:58:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell her you were thinking abotu all the funny scenes in the movie "Schindlers List" when you laughed, and not of Jews working in sweatshops. That should make her understand.
Submitted by whataefag (user info) at 2004-04-13 15:54:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just apologize for being rude.
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-04-13 15:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-13 15:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tell her the truth.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-04-13 15:29:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the fart description was very good !
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-13 15:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Plus these were diarrhea farts so I knew they were gonna smell like ass, and I don't have a very good poker face when it comes to the covert flatulence.
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That you gave you a +2
your OMFG, dropped it back down to a +1
Submitted by iamhewhoisnot (user info) at 2004-04-13 15:21:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a curb your enthusiasm moment
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-04-13 15:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I was kinda hoping this would be one of the Uber Madness titles...
Submitted by slider3036 (user info) at 2004-04-13 15:16:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA great story. oh and DIPSHIT...its spelled B-A-G-E-L. fag die slow
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-13 15:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Send her some pork chops
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-04-13 15:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tell her the truth.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-04-13 15:14:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you are weird.
Submitted by SeaBriscuit (user info) at 2004-04-13 15:12:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Quite a predicament. Send your teacher a bagle. Onion and garlic flavored.