in case of zombies, soil yourself (848 hits)
Category: NewsRating: -0.5 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by gopgangsta (View user info) at 2004-04-14 00:06:57 EDT
fact: zombies are in fact an immenent threat.
despite what the government wants you to think, zombies are walking among us, strategically waiting for the right time to strike. and, unfortunately for us, that time is soon, very very soon. i advise you do three things as soon as possible: 1 stock pile weapons, 2 find a safe haven, and 3. soil yourself. i have made a list of weapons you should have in order to survive a zombie attack:a shotgun, a flame thrower, a chainsaw, a machetti, moltov cocktails, a katana, and a voltzwagon rabbit. zombies are terrrified of hatchbacks, running them over with the rabbit will make them freak outand turn into richard simmons. there are very few places that are cerified as zombie free, they are charlton hestons house, fort nox, the mir space station, the top tank of my toilet, rush limbaughs anal crevace, and of course a volzwagon rabbit hatchback. i warn you all, noone is safe from zombie attacks, follow my advice and your chances of surviving will be greatly increased. o and dont forget to soil yourself, zombies are not picky eaters but even they cant stand the taste of people shart.
User Reviews
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-14 10:54:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Zombie posts rule:
Sleep, Wake Up, Shower, Kill Mrs. Chang, Go to Work, Come Home...Repeat
http://www.ubersite.com/m/20539
and an Ubermadness post...entry 2.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/29914
Submitted by Know_Your_Place (user info) at 2004-04-14 04:20:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What was the point??
STOP POSTING JENNY!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/30244
http://www.ubersite.com/m/30251
Submitted by CASSANOVA (user info) at 2004-04-14 03:47:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thats the dumbest fucking thing ive ever heard. please, GOD PLEASE! just kill yourself.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-14 03:16:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by CASSANOVA (user info) at 2004-04-14 03:03:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
ha wow thats the second time you used that. just shows how un origional you are. it wasnt funny in the first place. Just another reason why you suck.
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I thought i made it quite obvious that was your job.
Slobbery oral to my little Priest.
Submitted by CASSANOVA (user info) at 2004-04-14 03:03:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ha wow thats the second time you used that. just shows how un origional you are. it wasnt funny in the first place. Just another reason why you suck.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-14 01:56:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
oh and Casanova... this is for you
You are a failure.
How do I know you ask? Because your mom failed in aborting you properly. When that happened you grew up a failure until you went to school. You failed in school and dropped out. At which point you failed at getting yourself a decent job. After which you failed at getting yourself a woman. You then failed at posting something interesting. I"m betting that after this you will fail to kill yourself properly and will perpetuate your failure in life by failing to bring amusement to anybody on this site.
How about this... Fail to live.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-14 01:49:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by CASSANOVA (user info) at 2004-04-14 01:25:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
wow i think it took you,what, 3 minutes to respond to that. as i expected u periodically check this site for more postings. its on your favorites list just below that article you saved about hermaphrodites having thier ovaries removed, the web page of that 13 year old fat girl you email back and have internet sex with, and above all the gay asian male buttsex porno and the ebay item uve been bidding on (a glow in the dark vibrating ass dildo)
well for one thing im a girl, ass. somthing you will never have sexual contact with without paying. that was a pretty good post by the way very creative... you managed to include having sex with me alot...thats cool..i guess.. maybe im supposed to be intimidated by the "ballziness" of your putting alot of dirty words on ur post. huh. you used alot of big words too..how much time did u waste looking them up in the dictionary before you ran back to your computer and typed that great poem. well anyway now that we've established how cool you are maybe you can get back to your killing yourself. im really looking forward to it.
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Right on Bro! Actually i'm already dead so... oh well
Submitted by CASSANOVA (user info) at 2004-04-14 01:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow i think it took you,what, 3 minutes to respond to that. as i expected u periodically check this site for more postings. its on your favorites list just below that article you saved about hermaphrodites having thier ovaries removed, the web page of that 13 year old fat girl you email back and have internet sex with, and above all the gay asian male buttsex porno and the ebay item uve been bidding on (a glow in the dark vibrating ass dildo)
well for one thing im a girl, ass. somthing you will never have sexual contact with without paying. that was a pretty good post by the way very creative... you managed to include having sex with me alot...thats cool..i guess.. maybe im supposed to be intimidated by the "ballziness" of your putting alot of dirty words on ur post. huh. you used alot of big words too..how much time did u waste looking them up in the dictionary before you ran back to your computer and typed that great poem. well anyway now that we've established how cool you are maybe you can get back to your killing yourself. im really looking forward to it.
Submitted by reaganslovechild (user info) at 2004-04-14 01:05:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
U. U R Not 4s 1337 az you 7h1nk you are .... what the fuck?!?!?
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-14 01:03:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by CASSANOVA (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:55:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha don you are the biggest pussy ive ever met in my life. i agree with reagan u consistantly checkup on your postings patting yourself on the bAck after belittling other posts. i can picture u now. a lonely single man .. 30s? many are at the prime of thier days enjoying themselves and spending time drinking, making money, their peak physical condition, and getting laid. you?
over weight, hairy, sitting in dirty week old underwear at 4 am with your can of chief boyardee ravioli (cold, because u couldnt wait long enough to heat it up for two and a half minutes) some drops on your tattered dirty wife beater... you fail to notice...as red garlicky spittle drips off your chin you furiously mutter to yourself in a half grin wile you type your comebacks to another highschool kid. you smile to yourself after finishing it...waiting for a reply. convincing yourself your the better man. even though you know ur a loser and your penis is small, dark, and wrinkly. but they dont know that...do they? i suggest don that you do us all a favor and walk that hairy half wiped ass right into oncoming traffic. do us all a favor. youve clearly failed in life dont try to play it off like ur better than anyone. you are a tool. its people like you that make me hate websites. i hate you.
PK rules
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The ABC's of why Casanova's response just sucked
A. Yes you caught me i'm a 30 year old sex offender... but there's nothing wrong with that on the internet right?
B. My penis is small dark and wrinkly but only you would know after i rammed you up the poopchute so hard you cried
C. If you hate website so much... stop reading them.
D. Suck my small wrinkly hairy nutsack Little Boy! Oooh i like little boys like you. Mmm little boys are cool
E. I'm a priest
F. You're an angry altar boy
G. This is a letter of the alphabet
H. You suck
I. I know you suck because... i'm a priest... remember?
J. You're pissed off cause you didn't opt in on the big anti priest case
K. Kiss my ass
L. Look at my nutsack
M. Your mom liked it too
N. You need to stop getting rammed by your dad... it just isn't normal you know
O. Open your asshole little boy... Father Don is comin in your ass
P. Pecker up... i decided not to have you suck my nutsack today
Q. Queer hater
R. Ramming you up your tender asshole is fun
S. Suck my balls... again
T. I hope you get a form of venerial disease that makes your nutsack fall off so you cant procreate
U. U R Not 4s 1337 az you 7h1nk you are
V. Fuck off and Die
W. Where is your penis? you mean that shriveled piece of skin right there? sorry
X. Your stupidity increased exponentially for trying to make a whitty response and failing
Y. Why do you think your defense is necessary when you suck as much as they do?
Z. I dunno why i posted this all but my point is clear.... you suck.
Submitted by CASSANOVA (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha don you are the biggest pussy ive ever met in my life. i agree with reagan u consistantly checkup on your postings patting yourself on the bAck after belittling other posts. i can picture u now. a lonely single man .. 30s? many are at the prime of thier days enjoying themselves and spending time drinking, making money, their peak physical condition, and getting laid. you?
over weight, hairy, sitting in dirty week old underwear at 4 am with your can of chief boyardee ravioli (cold, because u couldnt wait long enough to heat it up for two and a half minutes) some drops on your tattered dirty wife beater... you fail to notice...as red garlicky spittle drips off your chin you furiously mutter to yourself in a half grin wile you type your comebacks to another highschool kid. you smile to yourself after finishing it...waiting for a reply. convincing yourself your the better man. even though you know ur a loser and your penis is small, dark, and wrinkly. but they dont know that...do they? i suggest don that you do us all a favor and walk that hairy half wiped ass right into oncoming traffic. do us all a favor. youve clearly failed in life dont try to play it off like ur better than anyone. you are a tool. its people like you that make me hate websites. i hate you.
PK rules
Submitted by reaganslovechild (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah bart go ahead and look into it i have no affiliation with patrick duffy so id love for you to do that and shut all these ass holes up
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:38:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by patrickduffy (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:35:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
hey don u ever consider stand up comedy cause ur a funny guy u r fuckin hilarious syke faggot i hate u
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Extraordinarily whitty.... For a mentally handicapped 7 year old.
The syke at the end was especially effective...... SYKE!
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this was stupid, if you had written this so it was funny and clever then it might have been funny and clever. But you didn't and this wasn't, I agree with don you are a total failure and i would be happy if you died in a car accident
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by patrickduffy (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:35:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey don u ever consider stand up comedy cause ur a funny guy u r fuckin hilarious syke faggot i hate u
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:35:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, and there is some dubious double usernaming going on here...bart may want to check into that one.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:34:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
These post titles are starting to fall by the wayside, buddy. All your posts have been shit, but I usually like to +2 the funny title with which anybody but an absolute moron could write an excellent post.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by patrickduffy (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:27:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
don u r the reason there is cancer in this world i hope u die a horrible horrible death prick
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Oh.... you mean it's not a malformation of a cell?
I AM THE CAUSE OF CANCER!!!
dude..... since i'm the cause of cancer i'm giving it to you.... because you suck that much
Submitted by patrickduffy (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
don u r the reason there is cancer in this world i hope u die a horrible horrible death prick
Submitted by k-dawg (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:25:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
i dont like you.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:24:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by reaganslovechild (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:22:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
don by responding to my post you proved my point, i cant believe you actually looked at this post again you loser. you quiet literrally suck at life
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I think I made it quiet clear that you were the "lterrally" the failure in life.
Haha learn to spell before you try to insult somebody.
Submitted by reaganslovechild (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
don by responding to my post you proved my point, i cant believe you actually looked at this post again you loser. you quiet literrally suck at life
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:19:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by reaganslovechild (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:17:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
don you are such a fucking loser, i garauntee you sit by your computer all day waiting ever so patiently, its not like you have anywhere to go, to attempt to bellittle someone behind the safety of your computer. you are a coward, a prick, and a corny mothr fucker. i wish with my heart of hearts any and all things that could possibly harm you and your family, that is if your family hasnt killed themselves to avoid the discgrace of being related to a toolbox like you, to happen, and happen soon. i hate you.
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Funny i'd certaintly enjoy beating you up to your face..... Come to my place and i'll beat you up. Actually... i dont have to you probably get your whiny ass beaten up constantly in Middle school.
High schools gonna suck man.... all those big guys molesting you.... or wait... will you like that? yeah... probably.
Notice my -2. It counts not unlike your other accounts posting the same drivel +2's that you always do. You suck at life.
Die
Submitted by reaganslovechild (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
don you are such a fucking loser, i garauntee you sit by your computer all day waiting ever so patiently, its not like you have anywhere to go, to attempt to bellittle someone behind the safety of your computer. you are a coward, a prick, and a corny mothr fucker. i wish with my heart of hearts any and all things that could possibly harm you and your family, that is if your family hasnt killed themselves to avoid the discgrace of being related to a toolbox like you, to happen, and happen soon. i hate you.
Submitted by MoneyG (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:16:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
funny. and ignor the last guy, he's a hating fuck and he's not worth the oxygen that he continuously sucks up to sustain his lard ass.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:13:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are a failure.
How do I know you ask? Because your mom failed in aborting you properly. When that happened you grew up a failure until you went to school. You failed in school and dropped out. At which point you failed at getting yourself a decent job. After which you failed at getting yourself a woman. You then failed at posting something interesting. I"m betting that after this you will fail to kill yourself properly and will perpetuate your failure in life by failing to bring amusement to anybody on this site.
How about this... Fail to live.
Submitted by reaganslovechild (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:10:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
take my advice it saved bruce cambells life and remember , what would rowdy roddy piper do?
Submitted by patrickduffy (user info) at 2004-04-14 00:07:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pure literary gold thank u