My adventures in online dating (457 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.16 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by lamer.at.ohman.com (View user info) at 2004-04-14 15:59:44 EDT
So I just got out of this relationship, that was pretty long and I really have no way of meeting girls other then being creepy at my local bar. So I figure what the hell I'm going to go try this online dating thing, never tried it before never needed to but I had no reservations in doing so. Now I've looked at a lot of these sites and there is one thing that is common in almost every girl's profile, ONLINE DATING HAS A HIEGHT REQUIREMENT. Shit these girls want some big dudes, like 6 to 8 feet tall. You know I'm not that short I tower at 5'5, never really cared about my height never wanted to be taller. I got to thinking these online dating sites are basically a snap shot of what most girls want. So being the kind hearted individual that I am I have a solution for all the girls out there that need that tall man... it's called a horse. Yes indeed why date a man when you can date a horse, it so obvious I'm surprised that I had to be the person to think of this.
Let's look at this in detail.
1. Most horses are six feet tall on all fours, that's like 12 feet if you can train them to stand
2. Horses are hung like a horse so no problem there.
3. Horses are definitely loyal, and if you keep then chained up or in a stable then they aren't going to cheat on you.
4. Your horse can also pass off as a pet, used to get you to places and in a jam make a mean sandwich.
5. It's only a matter of time before you will have a legal means of marring your horse
6. They are great listeners, and you'll get no smack back from them
7. There not even in our species, so no need to take those birth control pills that seem to make you girls absolutely nuts.
8. Hey you don't have to share your bed with no stinking hairy assed foot sweating man.
9. You'll never find your toilet seat up
10. From the pleasant videos I have seen apparently horses really dig chicks
Ok I'm done now...
User Reviews
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-04-14 19:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:40:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
10. From the pleasant videos I have seen apparently horses really dig chicks
Submitted by speeddaimon (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:23:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This is a good solid one post.
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:14:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 even though my scenario worked in the exact opposite - my boyfriend replaced my horse. As soon as we started dating, I stopped riding. My poor horsey. :-(
-Phoenix
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You had a good premise and an interesting first paragraph which i can seriously relate too, sans the short shit, but then you went off into this horseshit (pun intended).
Next time tell us of a bad online date or something.
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:05:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
11. They also make great glue...
Some negatives:
1. They won't work to pay for the womans shit and shopping sprees.
2. They don't drive. Well, they're not as fast as cars anyway.
3. If they fall and break their leg, you have to blow the back of their heads off with a shotgun. If your husband or boyfriend breaks his leg, you just have to give them a lot of head till they recover.