G.W. Bush Came To my Restaurant Today. (1884 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.02 on 40 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by theWELLofZION<mvsydow.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-04-14 16:32:59 EDT
I usually am anything but star struck. But today was different, as the leader of the free world stepped into my restaurant. President George W. Bush.
Being the best looking waitress this greasy spoon has, I was assigned the task of taking his presidential order and bringing him his food.
"Miss, I'd like steak..rare and bloody, and some po-ta-ters...and a glass of cool, refreshing Coca-Cola, please." He said to me. A President talked to me.
I take the other orders...they weren't as famous.
I run the order back to the kitchen and Julio the order cook takes it and asks which one is "his". I don't tell him fearing that he'll piss in it, since his family got deported by Bush's Administration. I run into the ladies room to make sure I look my best. I put on some fresh makeup.
I pull my white shirt taut around my breasts and loosen a button. I look good.
I take the order back to the table and serve the Presidents guests first.
"And here's your steak Mr. President." I coo as I gently rub my breast against his shoulder...just enough to make him think he's coping a free accidental feel.
"Thanks sweetheart."
They eat and talk and eat and talk. You would think they have a world of problems. Now, I just turned 18 so I wasn't able to vote last time, but after today I'm gonna vote for him this coming election I'm sure. He's a sweetheart.
My boss takes the bill and writes on it, compliments of the house. And he sends me to over to deliver it.
"Here's the bill Mr. President. Mr. Newman took care of it."
"Oh, well you tell him "Thank ya kindly." Lets go boys."
As they shuffle out the joint, one of his guards says something about the tip to the President. he returns, asks me my name. I tell him "Julie."
He takes a napkin from my waist band, and writes on it.
"To Julie, Thank You for your _?__?___?__?__. (he has sloppy handwriting). Sincerely, George W. Bush."
He hands it to me, accompanied by a dollar bill.
Fuckin cheapskate. I take the napkin and wipe off my makeup.
This fuckin guy just got back over $800,000 in taxes and I get a napkin and a buck. Fuck him.
I'm voting for Kerry.
-Zion
User Reviews
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-05-21 11:35:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
How dare you place your bossom on the presidents shoulder
Your lucky he didn't sic his goon sqaud on you
GO SOX WOO!!!
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2004-04-17 17:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-16 12:37:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I still like this.
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-04-14 21:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, this got more hits than most everything today. Goes to show what a catchy title can do for you.
Malone
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2004-04-14 20:35:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NEVER GIVE IN TO THE MAN!!!
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-04-14 18:14:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
this wasn't a -2 worthy post.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't have your new address. I sent you a letter near the end of your service. Then I will send you a big box of my shit.
Or goodies. But I mean if you want my shit so bad, you know, I can't stop ya.
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your mail is in the mail. I am a cheap bastard and was going to send it for cheaper when I got home. However, I STILL haven't gotten my household goods from Korea. Your mail is in that.
Your mail is wooden cats from Thailand. Maybe you'll get them before Christmas. If you're a good girl.
That reminds me, where the fuck is my box of shit??!
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:55:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I guess you didn't know that there is a federal law prohibiting tipping cum-guzzling cunts more than one dollar.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
don't....stop...don't....stop
DON'T STOP!
.....then where is the mail I was promised mr.?
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:48:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tina are you saying "don't stop"? Or "don't, and stop"?
I love you Tina.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:42:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh...no...don't...stop...don't...stop
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:41:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I was joking you dumb fucking skank. Fuck you're slow.
Submitted by theWELLofZION (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DDT: fine. we are even.
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Please stop -2ing all my posts. My ego can't bear it.
Submitted by theWELLofZION (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tits: did i flame you? No. Mind you fucking business. I flamed those who started with me. And now you've started.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Since you are going around with random -2's yourself...it looked like fun...
Submitted by iamhewhoisnot (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:27:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
laughed out loud on the nerf comment
Submitted by speeddaimon (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:26:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Consider this flaming your post.
Of course, it wasn't all that great anyway. And why lie about what you do and who you are, try and incorporate it, things are a hell of alot funnier that way.
Also, considering what I've seen of your posts, you shouldn't consider yourself a "writer".
Submitted by eSmith (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
nice
Submitted by Sounsexy00 (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:20:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You forget, Zion, that he's Mr. Uberchristianity. He didn't respond to your boobthrust because if he were to bone you, then you couldn't have an abortion. Smart man, our president.
-Hadley
God Breast America.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:16:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Even though this is fiction, if you really do make it a practice to rub your mammies on customers you are nasty.
Submitted by theWELLofZION (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:15:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nerf, ha. thats funny!
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I liked it...
But the picture is misleading. George W. Bush is nothing like Hitler. Hitler was elected.
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:08:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What is so fucking good about the writing in this post? YOU BITCH!
Submitted by theWELLofZION (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whats the big deal with not letting my real identity out? this is a website, i'm not gonna talk about myself....and give details. I'm a writer, this is what I do.
Fuck you for being assholes. this post doesn't deserve to be flamed.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-04-14 17:01:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
another lie ? you're a fuckin' mythoman !
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:56:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck yeah ZONE!
This fucking post was fucking stoopid!
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
DDT: fair enough...as long as everyone gets equal hate.
let -2 this lying bitch!
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:53:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know where the perceived "women hating" comes from--I hate everyone equally.
Fucking ZONESTER.
Submitted by Papajoe (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:51:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Wow, a 24 year old, 50 year old, asian man on his period, that moonlights as an 18 year old waitress in a greasy spoon diner!
Did you let the daily world news know so they can report this?
Anyway, good story, it made me smile.
Submitted by theWELLofZION (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
they are C cups. thank you very much.
DDT, get bent.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:45:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was funny...and good. An obvious lie, or course. but fun fiction.
DDT: Whats with all the women hating you do? Are you threatend?
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:44:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You mean the president tried to cop a feel on your A cups? Come ooooooon.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You should've wiped your ass with his steak
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, if he only gave you a dollar, your titty rub must not have been very effective.
That or he doesn't like sluts!
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is one of the best things I've read all day.
Maybe he said "Thanks for letting me cop a feel. You know it wasn't just Clinton, all presidents are the same."
Frickin pigs.
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:37:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You got a napkin with an autograph worth more than 15% on it. You beeyotch.
Submitted by speeddaimon (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:37:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All you got was a napkin with his signature and a dollar? Hell in 50 years that thing'll be worth cash. Keep it.
If this is real.
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:35:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"...and a glass of cool, refreshing Coca-Cola, please."
he actually said that? if that is true, he is one corny motherfucker