Retracted Testicle (832 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.12 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by lamer.at.ohman.com (View user info) at 2004-04-15 08:07:05 EDT
I'd like to think of my self as a creative person, everything I do I try to make an art of it... or so I try. With that in mind in the bedroom I also like to be creative, I always try to create "positions" and in so doing found the most horrifying bodily possibility thinkable (to a man at least). I'm not going to discuss the steps took to get into this position but basically we were at a 180 degree angle of each other. I did not particularly enjoy this position but the lady friend seemed to really like it.
After doing this for about maybe three minutes I got to thinking... hey her ass is smacking against my nuts, could that possibly be a bad thing? Sure enough I looked down and my right testicle was gone! I mean there was nothing were it used to be not even the dangly string the nut should be resting on! I carefully slowly got up; I cannot explain properly in words how scary it is to have one of your testicles missing in action.
Once up I got into a position... spread eagle, hoping gravity would allow my MIA testicle to descent back into its proper resting place. Life is never that easy for me and I had to try something drastic; bounce!
Bouncing did nothing but scare the shit out of me because my fucking testicle was still packed into a place it should never, never be in. Finally about 5 minutes later I some how managed to move my right leg in a position so my friend could come back to the party. I greeted him warmly; made sure he was in his proper resting spot. This entire time my girl friend was laughing her ass off; I didn't attempt sex for two days later.
It wasn't funny... not at all
User Reviews
Submitted by Dazd1 (user info) at 2004-04-15 12:13:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You sure your girl didn't mistake it for a raisenette and eat it? LOL
Submitted by Goldeneyes (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:12:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
From: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia: Undescended Testicle (http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000973.htm)
Symptoms
There are usually no symptoms other than inability to find the testicle within the scrotum (may be described as an empty scrotum). Adult males with an undescended testicle may complain of infertility.
Treatment
Usually the testicle will descend into the scrotum without any intervention during the first year of life. If this does not occur, hormonal injections (B-HCG or testosterone) may be given in an attempt to stimulate movement of the testicle into the scrotum.
Surgery (orchiopexy) is the definitive therapy. Recent literature suggest a trend favoring earlier surgery to prevent irreversible damage to the testis, which causes infertility.
Expectations (prognosis)
The majority of cases resolve spontaneously, without any treatment. Medical or surgical correction of the condition is usually successful.
About 5% of patients with undescended testicles do not have testicles that can be found at the time of surgery. This is called a vanished or absent testis.
Complications
If one or both testicle(s) does not descend, a man may be infertile later in life. Men who had an undescended testicle at birth are at higher risk of developing testicular cancer in that testicle (even after it has descended either spontaneously, with hormonal therapy, or through surgery).
Submitted by stevo (user info) at 2004-04-15 10:16:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant!
The same has happened to me on many an occasion. I think my body is trying to trick me in to having a panic attack because it thinks it would be funny...
Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-04-15 09:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That would scare the shit out of me. Even worse, try getting your foreskin (if you have one) JAMMED behind the head. The head just keeps getting more FULL OF BLOOD (until drops come out of the PEEHOLE) like a fucking valve.
_______________________________
What.The.Fuck.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-04-15 09:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha. Missing testicles are bad
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-04-15 08:25:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that happened to me once many years ago while masturbating.
scared the fuck out of me.
i feel your pain.
Submitted by JBOMB (user info) at 2004-04-15 08:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That would scare the shit out of me. Even worse, try getting your foreskin (if you have one) JAMMED behind the head. The head just keeps getting more FULL OF BLOOD (until drops come out of the PEEHOLE) like a fucking valve.
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2004-04-15 08:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dude - unless you're watching or appearing in The Rocky Horror Show, describing your balls is most definitely too much information, but funny, nonetheless.